Nurse: Sir, you've been in a coma. D&D 5.5e just released. Me: Oh wow. I can't wait to migrate my Necromancer wizard to the new edition Nurse: ...

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No sun here Once upon a time in Ravenloft We are trapped Gods don't respond Strahd is toying with us No slavery I have found an iron sword Finally no heat! Granny gave me a pastry with my favorite filling That's a nightmare... Came from FORGOTTEN REALIS I would live here! Local Sorcerer King invited for a dinner Came from DARK SUN D GENIDO

and i was like "my eternal slave says what?" and he totally fell for it you know you don't need to do that right? what do you mean? but that's no fun! you don't need to rely on wordplay. mortals will just sign that stuff away willingly. it's efficient. there's no ambiguity in ownership. and it's always a laugh to see them trade so much for so little. speaking of, you still I owe me that soul. $ for the last time. nothing a pact of the fiend warlock says or does in the feywild is legally binding.

Wizard: I cast Wish. DM: Okay, what do you wish for? Wizard: I wish the BBEG would disappear. DM: Granted, the BBEG is now fully invisible. THE REST OF THE PARTY THE WIZARD

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Corrupt guard that wouldn't come clean to the rogue Me getting a 27 on my strength check

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గ GM-ing in a nutshell: w/alliedsalad 6/20/24 Wow. If I had a nickel for every time the players did exactly what I planned for them to do, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

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True Neutral is a stupid alignment | /r/dndmemes

STOP DOING TRUE NEUTRAL People were not meant to have neither a moral nor ethical component to their alignment. DECADES of it existing on the alignment chart but NO PRACTICAL USE FOUND for a TRUE NEUTRAL PLAYER CHARACTER. Want to not give a s--- about people for a laugh? We have tools for that, they're called "chaotic neutral" and "lawful neutral". "We must maintain the balance between Good and Evil." - Statements made up by the utterly deranged. LOOK at what TSR and WOTC have been demanding that you respect all this time! (THESE are REAL true neutral planes made by REAL game devs) : ????? Outlands ??????? BUTANES ?????? ?????? "Hmmm, there's not enough SLAVERY in the world, I better COMMIT GENOCIDE to keep the "balance" between Good and Evil." They have played us for absolute fools

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No loot? This dungeon sucks... | /r/dndmemes

IN THE DUNGEON BY GAVIN DEA WHAT THE DUNGEON MASTER ENVISIONS. PRISONERS TO BE FED TO THE PIT MONSTER. 3 NPCS TO RESCUE. ←NTS ENTRANCE W+E A EVIL SHRINE. 1 PRIEST SECRET TREASURE ROOM. 2 WORSHIPERS BOSS. SECRET DOOR ROOM. SAVE TIMMY ON THE ALTER. E EVIL JOE 4 2ND LVL BODY GUARDS. WHAT THE PLAYERS ACTUALLY DO. BARRACKS ROOM. 3 2ND LVL FIGHTERS. GIANT PIT MONSTER WIZARD STUDY. 3RD LVL WIZARD. G B SYMBOL ROOM. HAVE PLAYERS MAKE SKILL CHECKS TO FIND CLUES. SPIKE TRAP. CAME IN DOWN THESE STAIRS. COMPLETELY FORGOT TO CHECK THIS DOOR. TRAP SET SWITCH. N NEVER FOUND TREASURE ROOM. LAST ROOM. WIZARD CHARMS BODY GUARDS, HAS THEM KILL THE BOSS, THE GUY ON THE ALTER, THE PALADIN & EACH OTHER. STILL NO GOOD LOOT.... KICK IN DOOR. EVIL CHURCH INSIDE WITH A PRIEST AND SOME CULTIST. LET PALADIN CHARGE IN. WATCH HIM GET HIS BUTT KICKED. 0 BUNCH OF GUARDS. WEB SPELL THE ROOM. THROW IN LAMP OIL & TORCH IT. LOOT IS BURNT. GIANT PIT. SHRINK SPELL ON MONSTER. KICKED IT OFF THE EDGE. NO LOOT. OPEN DOOR. FIND WIZARD." CAST FIREBALL. CLOSE DOOR. PALADIN IS OK WITH THAT... BUNCH OF SCRIBBLES. NO LOOT. KICK IN DOOR. LOOT DESTROYED. KICK IN DOOR. KICK IN DOOR. SUSPECT A TRAP. THE THIEF TELLS HENCHMAN TO GO LISTEN AT FAR DOOR. HE SETS OFF TRAP. DON'T HAVE TO PAY HENCHMAN NOW SO WE LOOT HIM. PALADIN THROWS A FIT.

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Dungeons and Dragons - Well, at least I can still be a Death Cleric or an Oathbreaker Paladin, ...right? | /r/dndmemes

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Nurse: Sir, you've been in a coma. D&D 5.5e just released. Me: Oh wow. I can't wait to migrate my Necromancer wizard to the new edition Nurse: ...

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