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Greentext Stories - "why yes i am perfectly sane, how did you know?" | /r/Greentext

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RYAN GOSLING THE EMILY BLUNT FAH ONLY IN THEATERS MAY Anonymous 08/15/24(Thu)01:08:38 No.202494892 >>202495596 >>202496672 >>202498130 >>202498270 >>202498294 >>202499760 >>202499783 (You) My wife sucks and doesn't like my drinking. Today she took me to see Fall Guy. Big mistake. First off I call my wife toilet brains because she can eats up practically any info you give her, like a good toilet. She's extremely intelligent and it's been nearly impossible to hide the gay stuff I do behind her back, so when you see me call her that don't take it the wrong way. For three full hours I watched Ryan Gosling do the sickest f------ stunts imaginable and violently rip apart Emily Blunt's dead body in car crash after car crash I'm pretty sure. I was drunk. But it got me thinking... What if my wife and kids died doing stunts for a movie and I got all the money just like Ryan Gosling in Fall Guy? So when that horse s--- finally f------ ended I beaned her temples with my palms like they were bongo drums and said "hey toilet brains shut the f--- up, you don't talk when I drink, I'm gonna make you famous ya worthless idiot" My wife and kids died doing what they love, riding in the car with me while I do drunk driving donuts. She wasn't wearing a seatbelt so when the car started rolling my wife flew out the window and tumbled through the sky head over heels like a beautiful angel or a throwing knife in CoD, rip my wonderful wife and kids I hope I win big in Vegas with your insurance money so you didn't die completely in vain and forgotten.

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