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File: 1342889711888.jpg (41 KB, 447x425) F--- Anonymous (ID: b2GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:24:46 No. 546835062 >>546835350 >>546835545 >>546835658 >>546835802 >>546835957 >>546835989 >>546836321 >>546836827 >>546837392 >>546838392 ITT Deaf people problems >I learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet.PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >I have no clue what's going on >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me I excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again Anonymous (ID: JW6J5EFe) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374525874783.jpg (47 KB, 321x374) >>546835062 (OP) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:28:33 No.546835464 >>546836217 >>5468363 File: I stole this laptop.jpg (85 KB, 425x282)

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Small Justice | /r/Greentext

.png (59 KB, 658x662) No.43232832 Anonymous 19 min. ago >send d--- pic to qt3.14 >she calls me a sicko and blocks me >oh well i'm used to it >next day cops at my door >she reported me to the police for distributing CP >they show me the pic i sent her >i tell them it's my c--- >they don't believe me >i have to pull down my pants >they give each other a sad look and apologize for bothering me

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Right in the feels | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 815056689 124.0 kB PNG 1시간 전 ... Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >I asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY

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Oldie but goodie greentexts moment, anon and his sister | /r/Greentext

File: 6360064590944441237692192).jpg (125 KB, 1536x974) Anonymous 09/04/17 (Mon)00:10:07 No.744134587 ► >Be me >Mom died right when I was born >Grew up with my dad's family because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed on me before I was born >Growing up, I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister >Be about 17 or 18 >Notice that my sister turned out to be a hottie >Accidentally found a video she recorded of herself >I thought she was so gorgeous that I watched it twice >I would have watched it a lot more, but some crazy things went down and I had to leave home >At this point, I'm totally lusting after my hot sister >She was also having some serious trouble with the law >Actually was in custody when I left home >Convince one of my friends to pick her up with me >Tell him I'll pay him gas money after we get her >We get to where she's locked up and bail her out >I just wanted to take her right then and there >It seemed like she had feelings for me too >She kissed me when my friend and I picked her up >It definitely wasn't a kiss a sisterly kiss >Friend confessed to me he wanted to get with my sister >Not much happened between my sister and me for a while >At this point, the three of us were all wanted and had to keep moving around to avoid getting caught >The sexual tension between my sister and my friend is getting a bit ridiculous now >While we're on the run I get hurt badly and almost die >My sister gives me another not so sisterly kiss during my recovery >After this we spend a bit of time apart >During our separation, I got extremely religious and try to not think of her >Convinced myself I was completely over her >My sister and I go sailing a year later, but it was nothing romantic >She's in the hottest bikini I've ever seen though >All of my old feelings come rushing back >She ends up getting with the friend I bailed her out with >The three of us and some more of our friends eventually all end up at a party >Sister and I go outside alone >Kill the mood by telling her that I have to go find and face our father, Darth Vader

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Anon makes the hard but sweetest choice | /r/Greentext

File: 37656478392876.jpg (332 KB, 1536x2048) Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)13:35:09 No.898589946 [Reply] >>898590978 >>898591063 Shower Food Review 42: Giant Sour Gummy Worm - This was the most shame I've ever felt in the shower. I'm worried even God won't forgive me for this one. My ex girlfriend is moving out soon and she saw me eating this. The look on her face said "I made the right choice." 7/10 + 3 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:01:02 No.898590978 File: nefag.jpg (5 KB, 250x233) Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:03:17 No.898591063 >>898589946 (OP) >>898589946 (OP) those shower tiles take me back about 20 years my grandmas house had the same exact tiles :( Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:14:09 No.898591556 It's crazy that you have a full sized window in your shower. I also have one just like that and I thought I was the only house that had a retard design it's bathroom with a f------ full sized window in the god damned shower.

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Anon has hit rock bottom and started digging | /r/Greentext

File: belgian blue.jpg (222 KB, 1000x666) Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:02:15 No.909352323 >>909352739 >>909354251 >>909354590 I just gooned to belgian blue butts >> Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:15:18 No.909352739 >>909352323 (OP) Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:55:48 No.909354251 >>909352323 (OP) mmmmmm Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)19:04:13 No.909354590 >>909352323 (OP) Mmm need that fat ass to shart in my face <3 Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)19:12:21 No.909354816 File: mx80vvw6icf91.jpg (68 KB, 1200x675)

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Anon justifies the 2nd amendment | /r/Greentext

File: E3188ECF-0EB2-48A8-A53A-0(...).png (251 KB, 555x552) Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)21:52:59 No.58364123 [Reply] >>58364638 >>58364665 >>58364780 >>58364871 >>58364138 >>58364299 >>58364559 >>58364611 >be me >with cousin hiking through the woods in south nevada >suddenly a swarm of pigs attack us >they drag cousin off into the brush and eat him alive >I escape but with several bite wounds >Every time I hear the smell of bacon or see a cartoon pig I have flashbacks and hear my cousin screaming for help and the glint of white bone and wet red flesh And liberals say ruralchads don't need AR-15's for wild boar. I will never be the same again. In my town alone at least 5 people were eaten alive by wild boar. 7.62 Nato can't penetrate their tou reproduce 20 liters a week. Even a small boar can shrug off .300 WM like it was 9mm. Showing all replies. Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)21:54:12 No.58364138 Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)22:09:45 No.58364299 >>58364123 (OP) All f------ hogs must f------ hang >>58364309 >>58364611 >>58364123 (OP) >Ukrainans opens the latest weapons aid package from America >its a tied up megaboar >wut >24 months later >entire eastern ukraine and western russia is a no-mans land infested with rampaging hordes of man eating boars

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Anon's routine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG >wake up >eat >piss 02/05/25(Wed)01:31:29 No.80270394 >take a fat greasy stinky s--- >get out of bed >eat >go to computer >take a fat greasy stinky s--- >get out of computer chair >go to fridge >eat >take a fat greasy stinky s--- >put it in the fridge >close fridge >eat >get in bed >take a fat greasy stinky s--- >eat >go to sleep >take a fat greasy stinky s--- >rinse and repeat such is life

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God bless America | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 39 KB JPG 06/01/21(Tue)22:17:54 No.855863221 >finish putting up my "We Don't Call 911" sign >fall off ladder on my way down and break my leg > my wife runs out in a panic >she looks up at the sign and looks back at me >she knows what I must do and hands me my pistol >I'm sorry Angela >wife runs back inside with tears rolling down her face >tell my children to go in the house >"We don't dial 911" I s-- as I put the barrel in my mouth > God Bless America

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/tg/ in a nutshell | /r/Greentext

File 1261960056.jpg-(46 KB, 500x460) Anonymous 12/27/09(Sun)19:27 No.7310179 [Reply] I'm sorry, what is this board about? What are traditional games? Not a troll, though - I'm simply curious. I'm not sure if it's safe to make any assumptions, but... is /tg/ about games like Dungeons & Dragons? Or Warhammer? The ones, that have maps, rulebooks, bunch of dice and small figurines? If yes, you guys are cool. If no, please enlighten me. 18 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view. Anonymous 12/27/09(Sun)19:44 No.7310348 >>7310207 Earl Grey doesn't fit in with Darjeeling. Darjeeling is a variety of black tea from India, whereas Earl Grey refers to any tea flavored with bergamot oil. Both are, of course, quite good, but rather different. Anonymous 12/27/09(Sun)19:49 No.7310403 >>7310348 Yes, I am aware how different they are, and that Earl Grey is more of a category or style than a specific strain. Your point? Anonymous 12/27/09(Sun)19:50 No.7310416 >>7310403 You classified Darjeeling and Earl Grey as two varieties of Indian tea. That's not, on the whole, correct.

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Tfw we will never get posts like this ever again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/12/25(Sat)21:54:26 No.278037516 hagstare.jpg 455 KB JPG How do you resist a 32 year old hag that wants you to impregnate her when she looks at you like this?

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The Emperors finest | /r/Greentext

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

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Posting this Silent Hill one to ask if someone can post that one where Anon takes LSD and trips a Silent Hill thank you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Greentext Stories - Ear Disabled | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

File: 1342889711888.jpg (41 KB, 447x425) F--- Anonymous (ID: b2GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:24:46 No. 546835062 >>546835350 >>546835545 >>546835658 >>546835802 >>546835957 >>546835989 >>546836321 >>546836827 >>546837392 >>546838392 ITT Deaf people problems >I learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet.PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >I have no clue what's going on >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me I excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again Anonymous (ID: JW6J5EFe) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374525874783.jpg (47 KB, 321x374) >>546835062 (OP) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:28:33 No.546835464 >>546836217 >>5468363 File: I stole this laptop.jpg (85 KB, 425x282)

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