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File: 1370710900581.jpg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat) 13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. I'll go first. >Be me, about 16. >Beta to the max. >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies. >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life. >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off. >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels. >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so I can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana peel. >feelsgoodman.jpg. >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away. >I'm a sick bastard, I know. Fast forward a few weeks. >Been fapping in banana peels a lot. >Getting dat potassium like a mad f-----. >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels. >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesn't cut it anymore. >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes. >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry. >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table. >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts. >Actually talks to me. >Asks if we can be lab partners. >F------ all the yes. >Begins to get friendlier with me. >Flirting level 3 engaged. >Decide to actually be alpha for once. >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me. >She says yes. Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat) 13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT.... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty. >We sit in the back row. >Halfway through the movie, I notice she keeps looking at me. >Not paying attention anymore. >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark. >The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor. >She asks if I have ever gotten head before. >Allmynope. >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark. >Starts to suck my d---. >Two minutes in. >"Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark. >"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d--- in bananas Anon?" >Beta me returns. >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f---. >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d---. >OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK. >She begins to have a seizure. >Immediately call 911. MFW I cannot go back to that theater. MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark. MFW I haven't had a b------ OR a date since. Thanks a lot Banana Shark.

Banana shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo | /r/Greentext


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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack
Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #
34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps
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File: 1370710900581.jpg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat) 13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. I'll go first. >Be me, about 16. >Beta to the max. >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies. >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life. >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off. >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels. >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so I can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana peel. >feelsgoodman.jpg. >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away. >I'm a sick bastard, I know. Fast forward a few weeks. >Been fapping in banana peels a lot. >Getting dat potassium like a mad f-----. >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels. >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesn't cut it anymore. >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes. >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry. >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table. >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts. >Actually talks to me. >Asks if we can be lab partners. >F------ all the yes. >Begins to get friendlier with me. >Flirting level 3 engaged. >Decide to actually be alpha for once. >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me. >She says yes. Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat) 13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT.... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty. >We sit in the back row. >Halfway through the movie, I notice she keeps looking at me. >Not paying attention anymore. >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark. >The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor. >She asks if I have ever gotten head before. >Allmynope. >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark. >Starts to suck my d---. >Two minutes in. >"Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark. >"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d--- in bananas Anon?" >Beta me returns. >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f---. >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d---. >OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK. >She begins to have a seizure. >Immediately call 911. MFW I cannot go back to that theater. MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark. MFW I haven't had a b------ OR a date since. Thanks a lot Banana Shark.

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Uploaded Apr 22, 2025 at 12:21AM EDT

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Greentext Stories

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