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I want to make sure that nobody is sad at my funeral. I don't want a bunch of people I know to gather and sit in silence just cause I kicked the bucket, so I'm gonna be playing all the best Internet songs, probably have He-man's HEYEAYEYAYEYYEEA on a loop on a projector, maybe even rent a bouncy house.

I will not let them be sad--not even if they want to! If it ends up making everyone feel awkward as hell, so be it!