But see, the gaem disegn alone should tell me how to play. I shouldn't have to read the directions it gives me, 'cause it distracts me from laughing at my own jokes.

The thing is, that might have worked when games used a gamepad and two/four/six buttons, but nowadays you have a digital pad, two analog sticks 4 main buttons, 4 shoulder buttons, two buttons under the sticks, and all of them do something: play the fucking tutorial.