"Hello, I'm 'WhiteKnightFedoraYoloSwags'. Welcome to my dating profile.

Even though I live my life by the 'YOLO' creed, I possess a keen interest in social justice and true slacktivism. People suffering through real-world hardships don't really interest me – I mean, what I am going to do from my keyboard? Snort! Besides, a lot of those suffering through hardships and true injustices aren't white – like me – so therefore they're not privileged enough to concern myself with.

No, true justice – social justice – is reserved for the many fair white maidens that have been trapped in the evil web of evil – the interwebz. Being elite, I know that these fair maidens need my unique white knighting skills and ability to solve first world problems.

It's for these reasons that I'm a proud supporter of #Don'tDateGamerGaters. The one goddess Anita has decreed that male gamers are inherently evil, and it is my sworn white knight duty to eradicate gamers from this earth. Their brand of evil is over!

While you're here, fair maiden, take a look at my profile pics. You'll see that I am fluent in many intimidating ninja poses. I also don't mean to humblebrag, but I've been told I'm pretty easy on the eyes when I'm in my white knight armor with fedora helmet. So, will you be my fair maiden tonight?"