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File 1321999849.ipg-(8 KB, 206x187, 1314158691333.jpg) O Anonymous 11/22/11 (Tue)17:10:49 No.384235659 go to a restaurant for my first date with a girl pick the table closest to the bathroom so I won't have to walk too far when I go for my postprandial crap the waiter asks what we'd like to drink >she orders white wine, I ask for a banana mikshake the waiter tells me they don't serve milkshake so l ask for a bowl of icecream instead my girtriend asks why I ordered desert 기 tell her I'm going to mush the icecream up and then drink it, and she's probably very impressed but doesnt show it the waiter sighs and walks away there's an awkward silence so l ask what her favorite dinosaur is she says she doesn't know, so l inform her that mine is the pterodactyl several minutes later, after Ive finished recounting the plot of Jurassic Park 3', her wine arrives l ask where my icecream is the waiter says he will bring it after weve finished our meals l tut loudly but don't complain >she tells the waiter that she's ready to order and asks for the lobster bisque Phe turns to me sno, it's okay, I brought my own food," I inform him as I place my container of spaghetti on the table he exclaims something in French and hurries off to the kitchen Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)17:15:12 No.364236232 after a few more minutes of silence she says something, but I'm not concentrating l just laugh and say, "so truel" >what the f---? You think it's funny that my dad has cancer? >I choke on my spaghetti and it sprays all over the table reactively reach over and start picking the chunks of spaghetti out of her glass of wine she looks like she's about to throw up and runs into the bathroom glass of wine pursue her and try to tell her that only a tiny bit got on her dress, but she won't listen hursue her and ty to teil her thos uo and runs nto the bachrot >she slams the cubicle door in my face and I can hear her spewing >an old woman comes out of another cubicle and screams at the sight of me >"pervert! Pervert! >what? Nol My girlfriend is feeling ill and I'm just checking f she's alright! from behind the cubicle my girlfriend shouts, "I'm not your girfriend!" the old lady whacks me around the head with her handbag the strap hits me in the eye sin a moment of (literally) blind fury I yell Shuryuken! and lunge at her with an uppercut miss spectacularly and fall to the floor no waiters burst in and drag me into the kitchen where they tell me that after l pay i have to leave suddenly remember I spent all my money on my new fedora al try to make a dash for it but trip on my cape and go crashing into the lobster tank the lobsters start attacking me so l grab a shard of glass and slash them all to death everyone is horrified by the massacre I just committed and they flinch away from me as I colect my spaghetti and leave >stop in the doorway and take one last look at the havoc Id wreaked everyone cowers in fear alpha as f---

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Spaghetti Story


Uploaded by Don Caldwell Mar 25, 2015 at 02:43PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Alpha as Fuck

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Alpha as Fuck - Spaghetti Story

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File 1321999849.ipg-(8 KB, 206x187, 1314158691333.jpg) O Anonymous 11/22/11 (Tue)17:10:49 No.384235659 go to a restaurant for my first date with a girl pick the table closest to the bathroom so I won't have to walk too far when I go for my postprandial crap the waiter asks what we'd like to drink >she orders white wine, I ask for a banana mikshake the waiter tells me they don't serve milkshake so l ask for a bowl of icecream instead my girtriend asks why I ordered desert 기 tell her I'm going to mush the icecream up and then drink it, and she's probably very impressed but doesnt show it the waiter sighs and walks away there's an awkward silence so l ask what her favorite dinosaur is she says she doesn't know, so l inform her that mine is the pterodactyl several minutes later, after Ive finished recounting the plot of Jurassic Park 3', her wine arrives l ask where my icecream is the waiter says he will bring it after weve finished our meals l tut loudly but don't complain >she tells the waiter that she's ready to order and asks for the lobster bisque Phe turns to me sno, it's okay, I brought my own food," I inform him as I place my container of spaghetti on the table he exclaims something in French and hurries off to the kitchen Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)17:15:12 No.364236232 after a few more minutes of silence she says something, but I'm not concentrating l just laugh and say, "so truel" >what the f---? You think it's funny that my dad has cancer? >I choke on my spaghetti and it sprays all over the table reactively reach over and start picking the chunks of spaghetti out of her glass of wine she looks like she's about to throw up and runs into the bathroom glass of wine pursue her and try to tell her that only a tiny bit got on her dress, but she won't listen hursue her and ty to teil her thos uo and runs nto the bachrot >she slams the cubicle door in my face and I can hear her spewing >an old woman comes out of another cubicle and screams at the sight of me >"pervert! Pervert! >what? Nol My girlfriend is feeling ill and I'm just checking f she's alright! from behind the cubicle my girlfriend shouts, "I'm not your girfriend!" the old lady whacks me around the head with her handbag the strap hits me in the eye sin a moment of (literally) blind fury I yell Shuryuken! and lunge at her with an uppercut miss spectacularly and fall to the floor no waiters burst in and drag me into the kitchen where they tell me that after l pay i have to leave suddenly remember I spent all my money on my new fedora al try to make a dash for it but trip on my cape and go crashing into the lobster tank the lobsters start attacking me so l grab a shard of glass and slash them all to death everyone is horrified by the massacre I just committed and they flinch away from me as I colect my spaghetti and leave >stop in the doorway and take one last look at the havoc Id wreaked everyone cowers in fear alpha as f---

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Uploaded Mar 25, 2015 at 02:43PM EDT

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Alpha as Fuck

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