That's fucking disgusting and not something anyone should joke about!
I mean, consensual sex in the missionary position!? Christ have mercy!

Congratulations! You've earned the pedophilia perk!

Pros – Your Libido is at max while in the presence of kids who've not yet developed their bodies,You no longer suffer anxiety or erectile dysfunction!

Cons – Everyone hates your guts…(And wants to spill them too.)
– You are forever stalked by the feds, along with the aid of a man always with a chair ready for sitting.