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Suicide RPG.

Last posted Nov 18, 2012 at 08:45AM EST. Added Nov 06, 2012 at 05:01AM EST
36 conversations with 22 participants

you like role playing games? sure you do!

you like killing yourself? sure you do! – otherwise how come every 2nd comment on the internet is “go kill yourself!” ?

so here is a game combining both of the internet’s favorite things!

the the rules are simple: YOU must kill yourself in any way possible.
MY job as the game master is to prevent you from doing so in any way possible.

example:
-User: i take a knife and stab myself
Game master: the knife runs out too rusty and dull to do any damage. etc etc.

so what do you say? i had a lot of fun playing this with my brother as a kid. so lets roll.

The setting:
You are a poor drunk who just lost his last bit of coin on gambling. you have no friends, your appartment is in ruins, you have nothing to drink anymore and worse of all, you are suffering from a rare desies that made your willie fall off.
Life sucks you want to end it.

Your turn

(please forgive me if the formating or the wording sucks, first attempt to start an RPG on the forums…)

Nov 06, 2012 at 05:01AM EST
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>desies

Anyways, let me start this.

I take a knife and stab myself.

Nov 06, 2012 at 06:09AM EST

Zipperbars wrote:

>desies

Anyways, let me start this.

I take a knife and stab myself.

you have no knife or pointy object in your house, you cashed them all for cheap drinks and pay your debt after you lost gambling

Nov 06, 2012 at 06:48AM EST
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I drank a bottle of mercury.

@jollyjew

A dull rusty knife is still really dangerous. No matter how dull the blade it, you can stilll just Stab yourself

Last edited Nov 06, 2012 at 11:22AM EST
Nov 06, 2012 at 11:20AM EST
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>Fire
>Jump in it
>On fire
>Fire is acid fire
>Melting while on fire
>Wearing tanning oil
>Melting while melting in acid fire
>Almost a puddle
>Random guy shows up
>Puts me out
>Turns back into not-a-puddle person
>Man pushes me into acid fire

Nov 06, 2012 at 02:23PM EST
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I take a knife and try to slit my throat.

Nov 06, 2012 at 04:02PM EST

This thread is h6rribly 9ffensive t9 th9se wh9 have either killed themselves, attempted suicide, 9r are planning the acti9n. Y9u sh9uldn’t turn such a serious subject int0 a game f0r an internet f9rum. J9king ar9und with the subject 9f suicide may in fact trigger s9me9ne and cause them t9 6ec9me angered 9r depressed and depressi9n can lead t9 suicide. Pe9ple sh9uld try t9 understand 9ther’s feelings and n9t just assume that this w9uld be 9kay.

Nov 06, 2012 at 04:04PM EST

The first thing I would do is find random people and take their money, and a lot of money as well. Once I have a lot of cash, I’ll rent one of those U-haul trucks and fill it with a shitload of methane rich manurer and park the truck inside a storage warehouse. In time, the methane would start to fill the inside of the warehouse with methane. Then I would go buy some guns and a car and go on a murder spree and have the cops chase me. Then I would lead them to the methane rich warehouse and go inside. Once a few come in, I’ll fire the last bullet and everything would blow up. I’ll probably have some psycho smile when I fire my last one.

Nov 06, 2012 at 07:34PM EST
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Ok. Lemme try.

>obtains 100ml of LSD
>uses it to fap
>trips monkey balls
>sticks dick in disk drive
>boots dick on pc
>ask forgiveness from based god
>denied
>death

Nov 06, 2012 at 08:44PM EST
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ok to pretty much all suicde attempts here: you have no means of killing yourselves in your own home.

no sharp objects, no poisonous things. your house is empty.

as for the one who suggested to fap till death – you forgot about the rare desease that made your Fireman drop out of service…

any more attempts good lads?

Nov 07, 2012 at 10:26AM EST
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Ann Hiro wrote:

I jump in the freezer, and stay there.

you have no electricity running in your house.

besides a freezer is too s small anyways.

cmon guys be a bit more creative

hint (try going outside…)

also: im allowing any of the forum mods preferibly randomman, MDF and verbose to take over the thread if im not around

Nov 07, 2012 at 04:52PM EST
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I run outside to dodge cars then suddenly a meteorite strikes my leg, and then a bus swerves full of inmates as they come out of the bus to get me.

Nov 07, 2012 at 04:58PM EST
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Considering every time I am used in Advance Wars my commanders send me to the front line to try and fight to end up getting shot at by a ridiculously huge-ass tank, haven’t I killed myself enough?

Nov 07, 2012 at 07:53PM EST
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I fly many kilometres into the air and drop down to my death.

Nov 07, 2012 at 08:01PM EST

I kill myself by killing myself by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self by killing my self…

Nov 07, 2012 at 09:56PM EST
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@Cirno

ok someone got a bit creative.

alright. when you come out to the street and try to get hit by a car suddenly a a bright whie van quickly dashes next to you, the back door opens and a pair of hands quickly snatch you.

they say you behave like a mad person and they take you to an asylum where you could not hurt yourself.

wadooyoodoo?

@red infantry
the soldiers in advance wars never die. they just bounce away. you never saw them dying didn’t you? you do know that everone uses rubber bullets in that game right?

@Wsxdas On a Bike
all the buildings in your living place are too short to properly commit suicide. what do you do?

Nov 08, 2012 at 05:24PM EST
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Im honestly not sure, I mean, there were a few parts where the commanders, as mean as they are, grieved our deaths. Well, the only one I remember was in Days of Ruin, but still.

Nov 08, 2012 at 06:42PM EST
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also: im allowing any of the forum mods preferibly randomman, MDF and verbose to take over the thread if im not around

Actually, I’d be one of those who’d be offended by this thread, but there’s technically nothing wrong with it, so I’m not locking it.

However, I’m not going to run it either. I’ve just been lurking it to make sure it didn’t get flamey.

Nov 08, 2012 at 07:52PM EST
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Checkmate bitch. I got it on camera. I am writing this from the afterlife. Suck it.

Nov 08, 2012 at 10:36PM EST
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Jolly Jew wrote:

@Cirno

ok someone got a bit creative.

alright. when you come out to the street and try to get hit by a car suddenly a a bright whie van quickly dashes next to you, the back door opens and a pair of hands quickly snatch you.

they say you behave like a mad person and they take you to an asylum where you could not hurt yourself.

wadooyoodoo?

@red infantry
the soldiers in advance wars never die. they just bounce away. you never saw them dying didn’t you? you do know that everone uses rubber bullets in that game right?

@Wsxdas On a Bike
all the buildings in your living place are too short to properly commit suicide. what do you do?

I didn’t jump off a building, I flew.

Nov 08, 2012 at 11:41PM EST

I attempt to fight a giant killer robot by rushing at it with a sword.

Nov 09, 2012 at 12:54AM EST
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Take your hand.

Put it where your dick fell off…

… And beat it.

Beat your crotch area. Just do it.

Do it until your crotch catches on fire.

Do it until your pelvis is broken.

Keep doing it until that fire you started burns you and your crotch to ashes.

… Are you happy now?

You’ve done it. You’re finally An Hero.

Are you happy? You got what you wanted. You did it.

You…

… (roll end credits)

Nov 09, 2012 at 05:51PM EST
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While sitting in the asylum locked away.
I think of Cuiles.
My brain couldn’t handle it.
then suddenly all I could here was Guiles theme, as I get up and begin to Gangnam style to the quad city DJ’s.
In reality I ram myself against the padding of my cell, and then some guys in white begin to enter my cell.
They inject me with something, and I lose feeling in my body. But then they panic as they realize they have given me too much.

Nov 09, 2012 at 09:32PM EST
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I watch an ABC Family Original Movie marathon.

Nov 10, 2012 at 09:48PM EST

I watch Twilight and listen to Justin Bieber.

EDIT: While playing the world’s worst licensed games.

Last edited Nov 11, 2012 at 09:06PM EST
Nov 11, 2012 at 09:04PM EST
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Skeletor-sm

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