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"John", the interactive imperative interesting adventure

Last posted May 11, 2014 at 04:37AM EDT. Added Apr 06, 2014 at 06:54PM EDT
100 posts from 28 users

So since interactive adventure forum games have gained a boost in popularity due to “Poorly Drawn Stick Dude Quest”, I decided to make my own poorly drawn adventure.
P.S. The naming of “John” was entirely coincidental, and has nothing to do with any other forum game adventure character of the same name.

Apr 06, 2014 at 06:54PM EDT

Speed Ray Cyst wrote:

Eat poster.


John has no mouth, and therefore can not eat. Besides, who would want to eat that? It would taste all paper-y!

Last edited Apr 06, 2014 at 07:07PM EDT
Apr 06, 2014 at 07:07PM EDT

Deltamelon wrote:


Attempt intercourse with the box.


John, once again, lacks the appropriate appendages to do so. However, he finds that the box’s top loosens easily, and he flips it open. Inside is a weird red… thing.

Apr 06, 2014 at 07:20PM EDT

the red thing is actually your wife, which is actually also a copy of Kanye West’s My Weird Dark Twisted Fantasy.

you should look lovingly at your wife.

Last edited Apr 06, 2014 at 07:30PM EDT
Apr 06, 2014 at 07:29PM EDT
Quote


John, despite being skeptical of the idea of loving a red ball thing, decides to kiss it out of the kindness of his heart.
[Click!]
What?
It appears that the thing was not a red ball, but a button! It opened a door that was behind the poster.

Last edited Apr 06, 2014 at 07:43PM EDT
Apr 06, 2014 at 07:41PM EDT

Mandl Brought wrote:


John, despite being skeptical of the idea of loving a red ball thing, decides to kiss it out of the kindness of his heart.
[Click!]
What?
It appears that the thing was not a red ball, but a button! It opened a door that was behind the poster.

>Open door, and go through

Apr 06, 2014 at 07:45PM EDT
Quote

Alex Mercer ♥ ?? wrote:

Dig a hole through the wall


John thinks a more straightforward approach would just to go through the door.

Last edited Apr 06, 2014 at 07:52PM EDT
Apr 06, 2014 at 07:52PM EDT


Inside is… Well, another room, of course. This one has some writing on the walls, and… A door on the ceiling?

Apr 06, 2014 at 07:59PM EDT

Draw birds above the ocean scribbles on the wall.

Apr 06, 2014 at 08:17PM EDT
Quote

RandomMan wrote:

Draw birds above the ocean scribbles on the wall.

Apr 06, 2014 at 08:23PM EDT

Question how you were able to do that, at that height, without arms or a pencil in your inventory. Then question life itself.

Last edited Apr 06, 2014 at 08:28PM EDT
Apr 06, 2014 at 08:26PM EDT
Quote

RandomMan wrote:

Question how you were able to do that, at that height, without arms or a pencil in your inventory. Then question life itself.

There’s nothing to question, as John knows why: Plot convenience!

Apr 06, 2014 at 08:30PM EDT

*nods respectfully towards you* wrote:

realize that your eyes are now carats and worry for your health.


What? Carrots are good for you!

Apr 06, 2014 at 08:53PM EDT

Mandl Brought wrote:

There’s nothing to question, as John knows why: Plot convenience!

Question the plot, then question dat plot.

Apr 07, 2014 at 09:39AM EDT
Quote

RandomMan wrote:

Question how you were able to do that, at that height, without arms or a pencil in your inventory. Then question life itself.

I don’ know but I know the answer to the question of life itself.

Apr 07, 2014 at 09:40AM EDT
Quote

MasterBurner wrote:

Praise the sun. The sun will help you in your time of need.

What “sun”? John has not seen a “sun” since his spontaneous creation around a day ago, so he doesn’t know if he should praise something he’s never seen.

Apr 07, 2014 at 03:24PM EDT

Speed Ray Cyst wrote:

Do leg workouts.


John highly doubts this is going to help him progress in this labyrinth of white rooms.

Apr 07, 2014 at 03:30PM EDT

Tahrdan Ismeh Wu-Temporis wrote:

>invert gravity to reach door


Or maybe I could draw the room upside down?

Apr 07, 2014 at 04:26PM EDT


Yes, let’s go through the doo-
Wait, what?
John, did you just break the spacetime continuum?

Last edited Apr 07, 2014 at 04:38PM EDT
Apr 07, 2014 at 04:36PM EDT


Hey, no, that’s mine!

Apr 07, 2014 at 04:43PM EDT


Ok, looks like John made himself a new friend. What should we call him?

Apr 07, 2014 at 04:49PM EDT

Now’s a perfect time to
>Delete System32

Apr 07, 2014 at 04:50PM EDT
Quote
Skeletor-sm

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