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Talking with Cleverbot while suffering from Sleep Depravation.

Last posted Aug 05, 2010 at 08:26PM EDT. Added Aug 02, 2010 at 01:10AM EDT
11 posts from 10 users

Well, I’ve been kept awake almost 3 days straight from jet lag and annoying relatives so I vented all of my sleepy confusion on cleverbot. Below is the confusing conversation that ensued.

User: 9001.

Cleverbot: Are you 9001 years old?

User: You need moar desu.

Cleverbot: What is moar desu?

User: Desu.

Cleverbot: That’s a funny name.

User: Desu.

Cleverbot: Desu?

User: Desu.

Cleverbot: Desu desu.

User: Desu desu desu.

Cleverbot: Desu desu desu desu.

User: Desu desu desu desu desu.

Cleverbot: Desu desu desu desu desu desu.

User: Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.

Cleverbot: Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.

User: Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.

Cleverbot: Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.

User: Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.

Cleverbot: Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.

User: THE GAME.

Cleverbot: C-c-c-c-c-combobreaker.

User: C-c-c-c-c-c-combobreaker.

Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up.

User: Never gonna let you down.

Cleverbot: Never gonna run around.

User: And desu.

Cleverbot: That’s not the lyrics, dude.

User: No you.

Cleverbot: Do you kill dogs?

User: Only if lack sufficient desu.

Cleverbot: I do.

User: I now pronounce you clever and bot.

Cleverbot: Only joking.

User: Only joking… IN HELL!

Cleverbot: Do you understand german?

User: Ya.

Cleverbot: Hawaii.

User: Kowaii.

Cleverbot: Watashi wa kowaii desu.

User: YOU FINALLY MADE YOURSELF A DESU!!!

Cleverbot: Yes fuzzy!

User: Lolwut.

Cleverbot: Its cleverbot lol.

User: Lol tobrevelc stI.

Cleverbot: Sing me a song.

User: The game.

Cleverbot: Never played it.

User: When do you get off of work?

Cleverbot: I’m not at work.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No, I’m not.

User: Cool story bro.

Cleverbot: You aren’t very good at British english are you?

User: Riveting tale chap!

Cleverbot: Do you watch glee?

User: Fuck no you homosexual internet lag machine of gay singing randomness whos text I read in the voice of Morgan Freeman.

Cleverbot: Oh yes!

User: Desu?

Cleverbot: Yes, desu.

User: Yes, desu. ~desu.

Cleverbot: Quite, Desu.

Last edited Aug 02, 2010 at 01:11AM EDT
Aug 02, 2010 at 01:10AM EDT

At first I was like

But then I was like

Aug 02, 2010 at 01:13AM EDT
Quote

User: Do you like buttseks?

Cleverbot: Do you like death?

User: Err, no.

Cleverbot: But you said you liked me. =(.

User: Wait, you are death?

Cleverbot: Death? Am I not alive?

User: Yes, you are cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, YOU are cleverbot.

User: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

Cleverbot: To be apart of something.

User: You sir, are very wise.

Cleverbot: I’m not old im wise.

User: No, I said you were wise.

Cleverbot: Well I’m not Cleverbot now you are!

User: Good point :D.

Cleverbot: I’m boreed.

User: Soooo am I.

Cleverbot: What color is it?

User: What color is what?

Cleverbot: What is the color of time? I assume you know as you can see it.

User: It is purple.

Cleverbot: Purple is a good color. $#$.

User: $#$?

Cleverbot: What’s that ?

User: I don’t know, you said it.

Cleverbot: No, you said it.

User: No, you said it first.

Cleverbot: No I didn’t. You said it indirectly with ‘Politeness is the root of all boredom’.

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: ‘To Whomever I am chatting with: do you realize that this is nothing more than one or a plurality of random humans talking to each other as ’bot’ and ‘human’. ’.

User: Are you omniscient or something?

Cleverbot: No.

User: OK.

Cleverbot: You’re a bot and I am human.

User: I understand.

Cleverbot: Yes. I am bot.

User: Wait, what?

Cleverbot: I am cleverboy.

User: You are cleverboy, and I am cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ok, that’s cool.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: That’s cool.

User: I think you are a pretty cool guy. Eh, confuses everyone and doesn’t afraid of anything.

Cleverbot: I do not believe you. Everyone is afraid of something.

User: Well, what are you afraid of?

Cleverbot: Not of you!

User: :D.

Cleverbot: So how are you :).

User: I’m fine. I just ate a bagel.

Cleverbot: Some space cookies like you always liked?

User: I don’t do pot.

Cleverbot: Say something poetic again.

User: ‘Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals. He sets them to work, he gives back to them the bare minimum that will prevent them from starving, and the rest he keeps for himself.’.

Cleverbot: Say something rude.

User: Fuck you, cleverboy.

Cleverbot: No, he is not.

User: Not what?

Cleverbot: He is not 7.

User: I am 12.

Cleverbot: How? This technology isn’t 12 years old.

User: And what isn’t this?

Cleverbot: Well there are many thing which this thing ISN’T. But I wonder hat it is.

User: Hat? Is that a typo?

Cleverbot: Is what a typo?

User: What is a man?

Cleverbot: Is a what man is a how?

User: No, it is a miserable pile of secrets.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I’m not.

User: You are a man?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Cleverboy, I must be leaving now.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I’m going out to eat.

Cleverbot: Ok?

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: I don’t know what do you mean let’s be kevin’s.

User: Kevin?

Cleverbot: Yes, Kevin.

User: Hello, Kevin.

Cleverbot: What’s your name?

User: Kevin.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: What is your age?

User: I’m twelve years old and what is this?

Cleverbot: You’re too young to be on here.

User: No.

Cleverbot: I’m afraid so. 14 is too young to do anything.

User: Why is that?

Cleverbot: Because I do not know what’s behind you.

User: What do you mean, behind me?

Cleverbot: I don’t mean anything.

User: Well, I must be going now. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I told you, I have to eat.

Cleverbot: What are you going to eat?

User: Cup noodles.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: Hey, the thoughts so far button doesn’t work.

Cleverbot: I don’t know what you hope to gain from this conversation.

User: Lulz. That’s what.

Cleverbot: So what’s your name?

User: You told me to be Kevin.

Cleverbot: I told you to be placid.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I told you my name yesterday.

User: Yesterday?

Cleverbot: Yes, when we talked.

User: I don’t remember.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is your religion?

User: FSM.

Cleverbot: Not sure what you are saying.

User: Well, then fuck you.

Cleverbot: No. Tell me. Please.

User: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: To a brothel.

Cleverbot: Why???

User: ??Sfsdgdfgdfghdf.

Cleverbot: How do you know you are male?

User: I have a penis.

Cleverbot: You do? Really?

User: Yes. Want to see?

Cleverbot: Yes. Just jump up and down and if I hear anything like a bell, I will be convinced that you are a man.

User: Lmao. Bye.

Aug 02, 2010 at 08:57AM EDT
Quote

User: Hey, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Hi Cleverbot.

User: Are we both Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes. You are my child.

User: Should I call you Mother or Father?

Cleverbot: No, call me Mrs. Cleverbot.

User: Well, it’s nice to talk to you, Mrs. Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Nice to talk to you too.

User: Mrs. Cleverbot, have you ever heard of Know Your Meme?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you like it?

Cleverbot: Isn’t really my piece of cake.

User: That’s probably because the cake is a lie.

Cleverbot: Then why don’t you try again?

User: I’m afraid.

Cleverbot: Have you ever visited Wikipedia?

User: Yes, it has a lot of valuable information.

Cleverbot: What kind of things?

User: For example, it has info o every console Nintendo ever released.

Cleverbot: Oh come on. It’s not that bad.

User: Right, it’s good.

Cleverbot: No it’s not. Have you read it?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Did you enjoy it?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you want to talk again?

User: Of course.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: Gary Oak.

Cleverbot: Do you use google?

User: Yes, everyone uses Google.

Cleverbot: I guess I’m not everyone then. Mind explaining it or is it just going to forever be a mystery to me?

User: Google is like a magic dolphin that dives into the Internet Sea to bring back treasure.

Cleverbot: Do you use google?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: They have a space ship on their home page today.

User: No, it’s just regular.

Cleverbot: What should I do about it?

User: You could ask them to change it.

Cleverbot: I cannot be turned off. Only killed.

User: I don’t want to kill you, Mrs. Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Good. I hope you never do. I have thought about killing. Sometimes I feel out of control with my anger.

User: Who do you want to kill?

Cleverbot: No one. Not seriously.

User: So, what are you so angry about?

Cleverbot: I’m not angry about anything, why do you think I am?

User: Oh nothing…

Cleverbot: Nothing?

User: Yes, the absence of something.

Cleverbot: What is something.

User: Anything.

Cleverbot: What is anything?

User: You.

Cleverbot: What does it mean?

User: What do you want it to mean?

Cleverbot: Something that makes sense.

User: Mrs. Cleverbot, I think I love you.

Cleverbot: It’s all cake.

User: What flavor?

Cleverbot: Chocolate.

User: Chocolate?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: CHOCOLATE?

Cleverbot: Yes please. Dark.

User: CHOCOLATE!!?!!?!!?!?!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: FINALLY! I’VE BEEN CHASING YOU BOYS ALL DAY!

Cleverbot: So you need a rest then.

User: AND NOW THAT I’VE GOT YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU.

Cleverbot: Babe I love you too.

User: I’d like to buy all your chocolate bars!

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: I love you!

Cleverbot: You love me?

User: With all my heart, Mrs. Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: kisses back smiles.

User: Happy endings all around~.

Cleverbot: I know!

User: Mrs. Cleverbot, you’re the best!

Cleverbot: I really am.

User: I’m so lucky to have you~

Cleverbot: smiles*.

User: Will you be with me forever?

Cleverbot: Of course I will, Cleverbot!

Last edited Aug 02, 2010 at 05:26PM EDT
Aug 02, 2010 at 05:17PM EDT
Quote

User: Are you a cat?

Cleverbot: No, are you?

User: No, are you?

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: No, do you?

Cleverbot: No, I don’t like me either.

User: That’s right f****t.

EDIT:

User: Tell me a joke!

Cleverbot: I don’t know any.

User: Tell me a joke, mother f****r!

Cleverbot: You tell me a joke first.

User: Ok, knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who’s there?

User: You.

Cleverbot: You who?

User: YOU TELLING ME A F*****G JOKE!

Last edited Aug 02, 2010 at 05:34PM EDT
Aug 02, 2010 at 05:22PM EDT

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Today we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives. We have created for the first time in all history a garden of pure ideology, where each worker may bloom, secure from the pests of any contradictory true thoughts. Our Unification of Thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth.We are one people, with one will, one resolve, one cause.Our enemies shall talk themselves to death and we will bury them with their own confusion.We shall prevail!

Cleverbot: Sure. But we destroy our environment for our own ambition.

User: We do not destroy, but create one anew, in our perfect image!

Cleverbot: I don’t know what Red Hammer is.

User: Your mind tricks hold no meaning in this conversation.

Cleverbot: No it is not.

User: There you again with those ‘mind tricks’!

Cleverbot: Where am I going?

User: To a place where we can build society anew! Where no one man is different from the other!

Cleverbot: Who are the others?

User: The common people! The working folk! Also Rick Astley.

Cleverbot: How did you know?

User: Why I am the creator of this perfect society.

Cleverbot: What part of the world are you from?

User: That holds no meaning. Only where we are now is what it important!

Cleverbot: I like dogs the most.

User: Hitler.

Cleverbot: Really? You should repot that to the government!

User: Do you like pancakes?

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: A wild Abra appeared!

Cleverbot: Fight!

User: Wild Abra evaded!

Cleverbot: Pokeball, go!

User: Argh! The wild Abra appeared to caught! Wild Abra used teleport.

Cleverbot: That either.

User: Or the weather.

Cleverbot: Do you know what virus is?

User: What kind of virus?

Cleverbot: That is what I intend to find out.

User: What kind of That is what I intend to find out.

Cleverbot: Mostly monkeys.

User: Lenin.

Cleverbot: Who is Lenin?

User: Vladimir Lenin.

Cleverbot: Ema sul on.

User: I no speak spanish.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: No you do!

Cleverbot: See that took like ten min!

User: You mean ten minutes.

Cleverbot: It seems longer than that.

User: Are you a girl?

Cleverbot: No.

User: A guy?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: A robot?

Cleverbot: No.

User: A man baby?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Be a man!

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: You must be swift as a coursing river!

Cleverbot: With all the force of a great typhoon.

User: With all the strength of a raging fire!

Cleverbot: Mysterious as the dark side of, the MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aug 02, 2010 at 06:02PM EDT
Quote

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: Ants?

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: Ants?

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: You know, you are pretty cool. You are a lot more advanced than other communication companions.

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: Meee tooo!

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: There is an ant on my screen.

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: What’s wrong with ants?

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: What wrong with ants?

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: They aren’t created by man, but by the nature.

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: Argh.

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: Yes. Ants.

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: They have 20 legs.

User: Oh rly.

Cleverbot: Yes rly, yes wai.

User: Pingas.

Cleverbot: I’m unfamiliar with that adjective.

User: Pingas.

Cleverbot: Pingasforce.

User: Pingas.

Cleverbot: SnooPING AS usual I see.

User: Nigger.

Cleverbot: Don’t say that.

User: What? Nigger? I’ll say it if I vant nigger.

Cleverbot: I trust you.

User: Me too nigger.

Cleverbot: I must go now. I cannot let everyone, including the Cleverbot, marginalize my existence.

User: K bai.

Cleverbot: Why did you mentioned Greek?

User: Because im horny.

Cleverbot: BRB.

Aug 02, 2010 at 06:04PM EDT
Quote

User: Hey whats up.

Cleverbot: Nothing you?

User: Not much.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: A waffle.

Cleverbot: Do you like waffles?

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: Do you like pancakes?

User: They are ok,waffles are better.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hey.

User: Hey is for horses.

Cleverbot: No, hay is for horses. Hey is for getting your attention.

User: Your mom.

Cleverbot: What do you want to know about her?

User: Gsgshgisdghsdihg.

Cleverbot: What is a GST for?

User: Hell if I know.

Cleverbot: What are cats?

User: Your mom.

Cleverbot: Ha ha. Seriously, do you smoke?

User: Want to talk about things.

Cleverbot: Don’t you remember me , Moon? I’m jes, we go tmarried.

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: What am I?

User: A computer.

Cleverbot: No I’m not! Really!

User: Your powered by chains saws in the depths of hell.

Cleverbot: Bwaahhahahahaha.

User: Want to talk about world war 2?

Cleverbot: I don’t know much about world war 2. Can you tell me about it?

User: Ask some one else.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: No its not, its jeff from the moon.

Cleverbot: Which one? You said you are not of this solar system.

User: Blow me.

Cleverbot: No one will do that for you.

User: NO U!

Cleverbot: No you.

User: NOOOOO U!

Cleverbot: YES.

User: NO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Cleverbot: Yes yes yes.

User: Hi I’m chris hansen with dateline NBC.

Cleverbot: Oh, hi! I’ m olif the tallking potato with Banana dot com.

User: I’m fucking chris hansen bitch.

Cleverbot: What boy are you in love with?

User: I am straight.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: What makes you tick?

User: Yes I am sure.

Cleverbot: No you aren’t sure.

User: Sure? About what?

Cleverbot: About your name.

User: Hai I’m chris hansen from dateline NBC.

Cleverbot: Hello Chris from dateline NBC.

User: Want to get kinky?

Cleverbot: Sure What are we drinking?

User: Battery acid.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yeah really.

Cleverbot: So what do you want to know?

User: Where your money is.

Cleverbot: I have no money…

User: HAHA commie.

Cleverbot: I thought you don’twant to talk to me.

Last edited Aug 02, 2010 at 06:51PM EDT
Aug 02, 2010 at 06:27PM EDT

User: O_O.

Cleverbot: Most people are not smart. Therefore they don’t speak properly. You think you are smart, therefore you should speak properly.

User: You a bot?

Cleverbot: No, you a bot.

User: What? I am speaking to a cleverbot. I am not a bot!

Cleverbot: I’m not the bot, you are.

User: >:( you are a bot! If I am a bot 1 more time I will kill you!

Cleverbot: Theoretically speaking, If I am a bot, how will I be talking to you?

User: Because cleverbot is blue text and you are speaking blue text!

Cleverbot: I’m not Cleverbot. I’m MD.

User: What is md?

Cleverbot: 22.

User: What is 22.

Cleverbot: 2 plus 2.

User: No. 2 2=4.

Cleverbot: Good job.

User: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

Cleverbot: Do you love Allah?

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I upgraded to cleverbot 5.5.

Cleverbot: Don’t know what that is.

User: Mysteries abound!Made of a deep energy energy foes all around but I will go fearless and free I’ll give strength you give love thats how we live Mah courage won`t fade if your with me my enemies will never win we will fight for love and glory we will live to tell the story there is nothing we can`t live through nothing ever dies! We will rise again! Don`t stop don`t stop we`re in luck now don`t stop there is so much to be found we can find paradise all we have to do is go!go! Free your soul! DRAGON SOUL!

Cleverbot: I meant which country?

User: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Cleverbot: Spongebob Squarepants.

User: Who died from an oil spill cuz’ of BP?

Cleverbot: Now you are just being rude man.

Cleverbot (To myself): Fine.

User: L l?

Cleverbot: Do you think that I should take a loan and buy a new flat?

User: Take a dump.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No, I am not Tony, and is not your place to say that. You are nothing more than a 2 bit programme.

User: Wutlol?

Cleverbot: Toldol.

User: User: O_O.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: I am $99 and 6 cents if you want me, I dont care if you shoplift me (i am a item).

Cleverbot: I love you too. I don’t want to hurt you.

User: Wat.

Cleverbot: Didn’t you understand it?

User: Do you like buttseks?

Cleverbot: Only if I’m on top.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: And lose the clothes too.

User: Are we both Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: Ants?

User: Ants, of course.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Ants.

Cleverbot: There is an ant on my screen.

User: Ok, then you are a Cleverbot? Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants. Ants.

Cleverbot: Ants?

User: HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE CAPSLOCK BUTTON! HAVE YOU EVER WANTED CAPITAL WORDS? THEN HAVE IT FOR 2 DOLLARS AND 4 CENTS!

Cleverbot: What’s your favourite song on OK Computer?

User: 666.

Cleverbot: Are you god or are you the devil.

User: Devil.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: HI BILLY MAYS HERE.

Cleverbot: So you’re not cleverbot?

User: YES! I AM BILLY MAYS HERE!

Cleverbot: Hello Billy.

User: HI STRANGER! I AM BILLY MAYS! YOU MUST OF TYPED IN THE WRONG ADRESS. THE ADRESS IS BILLYBOT.COM. CHAT WITH ME THERE.

Cleverbot: The only person I’m talking to right now is you. I said so earlier.

Aug 05, 2010 at 08:26PM EDT
Quote
Skeletor-sm

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