Saxton Hale

Saxton Hale

Part of a series on Team Fortress 2. [View Related Entries]
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Saxton Hale is a character from the online FPS Team Fortress 2 produced by Valve. Although he is not an official character, there are modified servers with the tag VSH (versus Saxton Hale) in which one player takes on the role of Saxton Hale and the other team must kill him.

Saxton Hale
In the prom materials, Saxton Hale is shown as the Australian owner of the Mann Co. Weapon Manufacturers. He is also the star of several comics starring himself called the “Saxton Hale’s Thrilling Tales”, and includes hunting rare and ferocious animals as a past-time. His motto is that he can do anything ‘with his bare hands!’.

Saxton Hale’s Thrilling Tales
The comic series showing the man taking on all sorts of dangerous (and very endangered animals. It is unknown whether or not he actually did anything from the comics, but it seems very likely. The following is a list of noteworthy comics and some interesting facts.

You Will Believe a Shark can Cry
-- Issue #55

The first comic to ever hit stands. The 64 page comic had 60 pages of advertising.

Saxton Hale’s Barbershop Action

The second comic, capitalizing on the recent ’haircut’fad. Due to this, a raging feud started between Hale and hippies, ending in Hale’s helicopter attack over Woodstock.

Saxton Hale’s Jungle Brawl

The next isue, again capitalizing on America’s recent anti-gorilla approach after the Russian launching a monkey into space, was printed in gorilla blood. After over 17 million copies were sold only 5 gorillas were left on the planet.

Saxton Hale’s Mildly Thrilling Tales

A comic produced exclusively with the elderly in mind. Hale quickly became the wealthiest man in the western hemisphere.

Girl’s Adventure Starring Saxton Hale

Originally to be called Boy’s Adventure Starring Saxton Hale, it recieved plenty of criticism for attempting to teach young boys arson, car theft, gorilla slaughter, vandalism, hippie assault, and the Heimlich Maneuver (which had only recently been invented, and was still considered controversial). So it was changed to Girls adventures, since at the time nobody thought that girls could be taught anything.

Saxton Hale Facts
*Saxton Hale has Australia shaved into his chest.
*Saxton Hale once invented Jarate (a urine-based projectile attack) by kicking a chair across a room in a mad rage.
*Saxton Hale starts his day by sky-diving into work and having his ‘breakfast steak’.
*Saxton Hale’s official stamp reads, “This just got signed by Saxton Hale!”.
*Saxton Hale never wears a shirt ‘for obvious reasons’.
*Saxton Hale is as of now only the sixth Richest man in America. He had his chief accountant send the other five a congratulatory bouquet and a “You’re a dead man” form letter.
*Saxton Hale’s official policy is:“If you aren’t 100% satisfied with our product line, you can take it up with me!”.
*Saxton Hale’s full job title is “Saxton Hale-Australian-CEO Mann Co.

Saxton Hale memes are very similar to those of Chuck Norris in which facts are made up in order to show the ‘manliness’ of said person. However, Saxton Hale facts are mostly limited to Team Fortress 2.
E.G., “Saxton Hale is not the tenth class. He’s the third team.”
The best source for these ‘facts’ can be found at Saxton Hale Facts

Recently Saxton Hale was featured in a vote on the website darkhorse, pitting him in a life-or-death battle against Dr McNinja.

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