"Shit Was So Cash" Copypasta

Towards the end of 2007, a new thread was created with an image of a young man holding some vodka with his arm around his apparent girlfriend. This picture was accompanied with the following post

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

This is very well-known and very widespread throughout many who browse, and it is in particular most famous due to the variations of it, such as the apology and the oblivion guard. Making a variation is simple as you just go through and change a few words, so many jumped on it. More notably, the man in the picture has been identified as Paulie Carbone, who has in fact died in real life.