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@ school....what do?

Last posted Feb 16, 2010 at 09:13AM EST. Added Feb 11, 2010 at 11:49AM EST
19 posts from 15 users

I will post this once, and once only. Presenting Cooper Smith's Guide to Not Falling Asleep In School:

*Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message. If it is, follow out what it tells you.

*See how long you can hold a note
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.

*Try to not think about penguins
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway. You could think of other stuff if you want.

*Use your secret mind power
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. Sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out. Battle other people in the room.

*Pretend you're a robot
Walk down the halls with mechanical movements, adding 'zzzzzt' sounds with each motion. Pretending to have a motor broken in, say, your left hand can add at least 30 seconds more entertainment.

*Scratch yourself
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?

*Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
Pick a random word out of a textbook and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

*Pinch yourself
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it – it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain. Much more fun if you pinch someone else. Bonus points if you pinch the teacher.

*Try to swallow your tongue
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.

*Pretend to be a car
Make revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass people in the halls. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity. Every once in a while, make the revving and tire screeching noises out loud. Race each other.

*Make Sci-fi movie door noises
Stand by a door to your next class or something and make that silly "Scccccccchwop" sound heard whenever people popped on to the bridge to hang with Captain Kirk.

*Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

*Hold your breath for as long as you can
Try to beat your old records. I’ve only got about a minute and ten seconds.

*Invent a weird twitch
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out.

*Make a low buzzing noise
Hours of fun in the library! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.

*Take a vow of silence for a day
Bring a small white board and write down everything you would say on it.

*Slip random words into answers in class
See how many times you can say “spank” in one class. You could either be subtle, or just say it at random times into a sentence.

Ex: Teacher- “ What’s the answer to number 21?”
Cooper- “In 1942, the Nazi party was spank trying to gain power in spank Germany. Their leader spank was spank Adolph spank Hitler spank.
Teacher- “Umm…… Very good?”

*Stare about a foot to the right of a teacher’s head when you talk to them
Look interested at first, then look slightly disgusted, then raise your eyebrows and shake your head in disbelief. You get bonus points every time the teacher looses their train of thought.

*Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.

*Make up games for yourself
These are hard to think of.

*Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh, now I get it."

*Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat-signal".

*Have doodle wars
You have one minute to draw your doodle. Assign it powers and make it fight someone else’s.

*The “You” game
Every time the teacher says the word “you”, “your”, “you’re”, or “y’all”, have a physical reaction. It could be throwing hands up in the air, or messing with your hair. Do what you want. You could even make sounds to go along with it. You get bonus points if the teacher starts talking to you individually, and you still do it.

*At a set time, everyone should stand up and spin in a circle, and sit back down
Keep a straight face, and don’t give an explanation for why you did it.

*At a set time, everyone in the room should freeze for a few minutes
Or until the teacher gets mad.

*Cough or sneeze every time the second hand on a clock hits twelve
Get everyone to do it, and the effect on the teacher is amazing to see.
Variation:
Assign a number from the clock to everyone, and have him or her cough when the second hand hits it. All cough on twelve.

*The Moebius
Coordinate certain things for people to do. Have them happen in a specific order. Make the actions obvious enough to be noticed by the teacher. When you get through, start it all over again.
Ex: At 2:30, it begins.

1.Jesse drops his book, exclaiming, “Oh, darn it!”
2.Michael gets up to go sharpen his pencil. On his way back, Sophia tries to trip him.
3.Emily asks to borrow something from the teacher.
4.Bennett leans back in his chair and almost falls. He yells, “Whoa! Crap, that was close!” People laugh.
5.Spencer starts to cough pretty badly.
6.Emily returns borrowed object.
7.Repeat immediately.

*Get everyone to hum the same song
I suggest the “Do Ray Me” song from the Sound of Music. It’s really up to you, though. Be creative.

*Get everyone to stare at one spot on the wall
It could be the corner or the ceiling. See how many times the teacher looks to see what you’re looking at. Do not answer the teacher when they ask what you’re staring at.

*Get everyone in the room to convince the teacher not to sit in their chair
Tell them that there is something on it. Get people to look grossed out. Act like you can see something there. If they wipe off the seat, say that it is on their hands now. If they sit down, everyone should act completely disgusted.

*Stage a break up
Get a guy and a girl to act like they’ve been secretly going out. In the middle of class, they’re going to have a nasty fight. Get other people in on it, and get them to take sides. Have them make up in the next class. Bonus points if you don’t tell some students, and they believe it.

*Act like a teacher says a word funny
Crack up every time they say it. Give them fake advice on how to actually say the word.

*Get the wave going
Come on! You can do it!!!

*The Awkward Game
Just try to create a more awkward situation than the person before you. Have someone do something, then someone else contest it, and then a third party judge which was more awkward. Bonus points if you get Kathleen to play.

*Keyword Game
Ex: the word for today is sassy. People are trying to find a way to fit it into conversations with the teacher in class. No one can. Eventually, the teacher talks about domestic violence. A student raises their hand and says, “I don’t think men should beat their wives just because they’re being sassy.” There is much rejoicing.
Basically, try to fit a keyword of the day into a conversation with the teacher. Pick a random word. It could be bagel, or manatee, or spank. Whatever. No points awarded if you just randomly say it.

*Question Game
Only talk in questions. Got it? Do you think it would be funny if no one told the teacher? You think shouting “ You loose” to the teacher after they make a statement instead of a question would be entertaining, right?

*Blow darts
Pretend to shoot someone with a blowgun. When they’re hit, they go limp. Only a pinch from a friend will revive them. Shoot the teacher.

*David After Dentist
Stand up out of your chair, and unleash the fury!!!!!!

*Crawl along the floor insisting that you lost something
Earrings for girls, contacts for guys. Or whatever you wan to look for. If you want to crawl around looking for the grasshopper you caught, go ahead.

*Catch a grasshopper
Take it to class, and let it loose.

*Get up and stretch your calves
Put your hands on the wall, stick one leg behind you, and lean forward. Really act like you can feel it working.

*Make sock puppets answer all the teachers
Have them pop out from under the desk. Make them tell knock-knock jokes. Make them fight over the answer. Bonus points if they sing a song.

*Do some push-ups in class
Tell the teacher that you needed to get your blood circulation going.

*Do the thriller dance whenever you walk anywhere in class
I don’t care if you’re sharpening your pencil, throw your hands up and dance your way over there!

*Bring an extra change of clothes and put them on in class
When the teacher’s back is turned, put on something completely different over your old clothes.

*Try and say exactly what the teacher says at the same time
Predict what they might say, and say it with them.

*Act like you’re trying to seduce the teacher
Drop your pencil by their desk, and bend over to pick it up. Slowly. Look back at the teacher with a mischievous grin on your face. Shake it while you walk back to your seat. Do it even if the teacher is the same sex.

*Where a wig
Afros always make the day better.

EDIT: In b4 tl;dr.

Last edited Feb 11, 2010 at 07:12PM EST

Totally ignore what your teacher is saying, write things in your notebook while periodically looking at the teacher/chalkboard so he actually thinks you're doing something, while you're really drawing 50 different(detailed) stick figure deaths.

Skeletor-sm

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