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Sigh, how did we forget to update the last thread? Anyways, the Cowboys are good again.

Note: Please don’t come here to say you don’t like or care about this sport. You don’t see me or any other sports fan go into your anime thread and saying they don’t care about the show, so give us some courtesy.

And then the Seahawks and Cardinals decided to play each other.

We got another tied game! This time it was by the Redskins and the Bengals.

I'd always get pissed at Madden for having too many ties in franchise mode, looks like they knew.

>Browns are 0-9
>Still not eliminated

There's a reason probability theory uses "almost surely" and not "surely."

I can officially proclaim that the Panthers are clearly playing 4D chess and will finish the season 11-5

suck my dick Denver

Oh we're starting the thread over? Well in that case:

Mangy, I think the happy days are back!

10 IN A ROW!

Who would have thought Trump would win, the Lions would have a 2.0 game lead in the NFC North after Thanksgiving, the Raiders would be dominating the AFC West, and Romo breaking his back would lead the Cowboys to a ten game winning streak.

2016's been a hell of a year so far.

Dak is daddy.

NFL Playoff Scenarios:

NFC Homefield Advantage – Cowboys will clinch with a win and a tie between the Giants and Lions.

NFC 1st Round Bye – Cowboys will clinch with a win and a Giants loss or a tie OR a Cowboys tie and a Giants loss.

NFC East – Cowboys will clinch with a win and a Giants loss or a tie OR a Cowboys tie and a Giants loss.

NFC North – Lions will clinch with a win and a Packers loss or tie OR a tie, a Packers loss, and a Vikings loss or tie.

NFC West – Seahawks will clinch with a win or a tie OR a Cardinals loss or tie.

NFC Wild Card – Giants will clinch a playoff spot with a win and a Redskins loss, a Vikings loss or tie, and a Packers loss.

AFC 1st Round Bye – Patriots will clinch with a win or tie OR a Dolphins loss or tie and a Steelers loss or tie OR a Dolphins loss or tie and a Chiefs win.

AFC East – Patriots will clinch with a win or a tie OR a Dolphins loss or tie.

AFC Wild Card – Chiefs will clinch with a win OR a win and a Dolphins loss OR a win and a Broncos loss or tie OR a Broncos loss and a Ravens loss or tie OR a Broncos loss and a Steelers loss or tie. Raiders will clinch with a win OR a tie and a Dolphins loss OR a tie and a Broncos loss OR a tie, a Dolphins tie, and a Broncos tie OR a tie, a Dolphins tie, and a Chiefs win OR a Dolphins loss, Steelers loss or tie, and a Broncos loss OR a Dolphins loss, a Steelers loss or tie, and Chiefs win or tie OR a Dolphins loss, a Ravens loss or tie, and a Broncos loss OR a Dolphins loss, a Ravens loss or tie, and a Chiefs win or tie.

>yfw da bears win da superb owl

NFL Playoff Scenarios:

NFC Homefield Advantage – Cowboys will clinch with a win or tie OR a Giants loss or tie.

NFC 1st Round Bye – Seahawks will clinch with a win, a Lions loss, and a Falcons loss or tie.

NFC East – Cowboys will clinch with a win or tie OR a Giants loss or tie.

NFC North – Lions will clinch with a win and a Packers loss or tie OR a tie and a Packers loss.

NFC South – Falcons will clinch with a win and a Buccaneers loss or tie OR a tie and a Buccaneers loss.

NFC West – Seahawks have clinched the division.

NFC Wild Card – Giants will clinch a playoff spot with a win or tie OR a Lions loss or tie OR a Packers loss or tie OR a Buccaneers loss or tie OR a Falcons loss. Lions will clinch a playoff spot with a win and a Buccaneers loss or tie OR a tie and a Buccaneers loss OR a tie, a Buccaneers tie, and a Falcons win OR a Redskins loss or tie, Buccaneers loss, and a Falcons win or tie. Falcons clinch a playoff spot with a win and a tiebreaker over the Lions OR a win or tie and a Packers loss or tie OR a win and a Lions loss or tie OR a tie and a Lions tie OR a Redskins loss or tie and a Packers loss OR a Redskins loss or tie, a Packers tie, and a Lions loss. Packers will clinch a playoff spot with a win, a Redskins loss or tie, a Buccaneers loss, a Falcons win or tie, and a tiebreaker over the Buccaneers. Buccaneers will clinch a playoff spot with a win, a Packers loss, a Lions loss, and a Redskins loss OR a win, a Packers loss, a Lions loss, a Redskins tie, and a tiebreaker over the Lions.

AFC Homefield Advanatage – Patriots will clinch with a win and a Raiders loss or tie OR a tie and a Raiders loss.

AFC 1st Round Bye – Patriots have clinched a 1st Round Bye. Raiders will clinch with a win and a Chiefs loss or tie OR a tie and a Chiefs loss.

AFC East – Patriots have clinched the division.

AFC North – Steelers will clinch with a win.

AFC South – Texans will clinch with a win and a Titans loss.

AFC West – Raiders will clinch with a win and a Chiefs loss or tie OR a tie and a Chiefs loss.

AFC Wild Card – Chiefs will clinch a playoff spot with a win or tie OR a Ravens loss or tie. Dolphins will clinch with a win and a Broncos loss or tie OR a tie, a Ravens loss, a Broncos loss, and a Texans loss or tie OR a tie, a Ravens loss, a Broncos loss, and a Titans loss or tie.

The Cleveland Browns have just won a game!

Lions will clinch with a win and a Packers loss or tie OR a tie and a Packers loss.

>it's a "Lions are about to fuck everything up and blow the season" episode
I've seen this story arc before.

The Cleveland Browns have just won a game!

Neener-neener, the Niners still suck less than the Browns! It was a gutsy call to go for the 2-point conversion with 31 seconds left when your team is 1-13, but they pulled it off.

Oakland is fucked after losing their quarterback Carr. Let's hope that the backup McWhoTheFuckAreYou knows what he's doing or at least doesn't fuck up.

Can anyone explain what happened to Minnesota and their week 6 "bye to the whole season"?

it’s a “Lions are about to fuck everything up and blow the season” episode

Lions schedule: Dallas, Green Bay

The prophecy has been foretold.

I noticed the Buccaneers are still in playoff contention, so I decided to see what would have to happen for them to clinch a spot. This is what I found:

-Buccaneers beat Panthers (Of course)
-Lions beat Packers (Yeah)
-Redskins and Giants tie (Improbable, but makes sense)
-Cowboys beat Eagles (Wait, what?)
-49ers beat Seahawks (Huh?)
-Colts beat Jaguars (That's an AFC game!)
-Titans beat Texans (Also an AFC game!)

Can someone explain this to me?

So the Buccaneers were kind enough to make a video explaining this bullshit. After watching the video, I looked at the Packers' schedule and it all started to make sense.

NFL Playoff Scenarios:

NFC Homefield Advantage – Cowboys have clinched the #1 seed.

NFC 1st Round Bye – Falcons will clinch with a win OR a tie and a Seahawks loss or tie OR a Seahawks loss and a Lions loss or tie OR a Seahawks tie and a Lions loss. Seahawks will clinch with a win and a Falcons loss or tie OR a tie, a Falcons loss, and a tie between the Packers and the Lions. Lions will clinch with a win, a Seahawks loss or tie, and a Falcons loss.

NFC East – Cowboys have clinched the division.

NFC North – Lions will clinch with a win. Packers will clinch with a win or tie.

NFC South – Falcons have clinched the division.

NFC West – Seahawks have clinched the division.

NFC Wild Card – Lions will clinch a playoff spot with a tie OR a Redskins loss or tie. Packers will clinch a playoff spot with a Redskins loss OR a Redskins tie, a Buccaneers win, and a tiebreaker over the Buccaneers. Redskins will clinch a playoff spot with a win and no tie by the Packers and the Lions OR a tie, a Packers loss, and a Buccaneers loss or tie. Buccaneers will clinch a playoff spot with a win, a Redskins tie, a Packers loss, and a tiebreaker over the Packers.

AFC Homefield Advantage – Patriots will clinch with a win or a tie OR a Raiders loss or tie. Raiders will clinch with a win and a Patriots loss.

AFC 1st Round Bye – Raiders will clinch with a win or tie OR a Chiefs loss or tie. Chiefs will clinch with a win and a Raiders loss.

AFC East – Patriots have clinched the division.

AFC North – Steelers have clinched the division.

AFC South – Texans have clinched the division.

AFC West – Raiders will clinch with a win or a tie OR a Chiefs loss or tie. Chiefs will clinch with a win and a Raiders loss.

AFC Wild Card – Raiders, Chiefs, and Dolphins have clinched playoff spots. Dolphins will clinch the #5 seed with a win and a Chiefs loss.

The AFC and Seattle games should not matter at all. The Bucs only need to be ahead of all but one other wild card contender. Looking at the standings…

1. The 8-7 Bucs have to win to get to 9-7
2. The 8-6-1 Redskins have to lose to the Giants or tie keep them below the Bucs; I think a 9-6-1 record beats a 9-7 record. The Giants have already clinched the other NFC wild card, so a victory for them should not affect the Bucs' chances.
3. The Packers and Lions are already 9-6 and tied at the top of the division. They play each other. The Bucs have to have a tiebreaker against the loser of this game, so we apply the NFL's tie-breaking procedures.

Normally the tiebreaker would be result of a regular season game that they have already played, but neither of the Packers or Lions has played the Bucs this season.

The next step is to see who has the best in-conference record. Both will be 7-5 in conference, so that will not apply.

The next step is "Best won-lost-tied percentage in common games, minimum of four." That does not explain all of the other silly requirements, so it could come down to the fourth or fifth item. Strength of Victory is the combined winning percentages of the teams that a team has beaten, and Strength of Schedule is the combined winning percentages of all teams that a team faced during the season. This could explain the need for the Giants to tie, for Seattle and AFC to matter, etc.

NFC Wild Card:

6. Detroit Lions @ 3. Seattle Seahawks on Saturday January 7th
5. New York Giants @ 4. Green Bay Packers on Sunday January 8th

AFC Wild Card:

6. Miami Dolphins @ 3. Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday January 8th
5. Oakland Raiders @ 4. Houston Texans on Saturday January 7th

OBJ staying true to New York wearing timbs in Miami.

Oakland – 14
Houston – 27

When you get shat on by Brock "72 mil" Osweiler.

Detroit – 6
Seattle – 26

RIP Loins. You'll never be free so long as the Fords own you.

Also, that facemask TD was horseshit. Not that it would have changed the inevitable outcome.

Pittsburgh up 20-3 on Miami near the beginning of the 2nd quarter. I haven't seen dolphins get slaughtered this badly since Japan's tuna fishing fleet came by.

And while I was working on that gag…

• The TD got called back
  
• Pittsburgh needed a few tries to ram it in
  
• They had to challenge a call to make the refs see that the runner broke the plane
  
• They missed the extra point
  
• Miami fumbled the kickoff return. At least they recovered it.

Miami – 12
Pittsburgh – 30

New York – 13
Green Bay – 38

fml

It's official! The San Diego Chargers will be moving to Los Angeles to become the Los Angeles Chargers.

NFC Divisional Playoffs:

4. Green Bay Packers @ 1. Dallas Cowboys on Sunday January 15th
3. Seattle Seahawks @ 2. Atlanta Falcons on Saturday January 14th

AFC Divisional Playoffs:

4. Houston Texans @ 1. New England Patriots on Saturday January 14th
3. Pittsburgh Steelers @ 2. Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday January 15th

It’s official! The San Diego Chargers will be moving to Los Angeles to become the Los Angeles Chargers.

>Raiders
>Chargers
>Rams
How long until one has to move when they realize there's no way a single market can support 9% of the entire NFL?

Seattle – 20
Atlanta – 36

Houston – 16
New England – 34

Green Bay – 34
Dallas – 31

FIRE GARRETT! FIRE GARRETT! FIRE GARRETT! FIRE GARRETT! FIRE GARRETT! FIRE GARRETT! FIRE GARRETT! FIRE GARRETT!

HANG THE GINGER! KILL THE ORANGUTAN! END THE PAIN! END THE PAIN!

Pittsburgh – 18
Kansas City – 16

The Raiders have filed paperwork to move to Las Vegas. If approved by the owners, they'll likely move there in 2018 when their current lease expires. Nevada recently approved a 750 million dollar publicly funded stadium there.

I guess that answers my "how long until they realize a single market can't sustain three teams" question.

NFC Championship:

4. Green Bay Packers @ 2. Atlanta Falcons on Sunday January 22nd

AFC Championship:

3. Pittsburgh Steelers @ 1. New England Patriots on Sunday January 22nd

Green Bay – 21
Atlanta – 44

THE ATLANTA FALCONS ARE GOING TO SUPER BOWL LI!

FLIP THE TABLE

Pittsburgh – 17
New England – 36

THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS ARE GOING TO SUPER BOWL LI!

Well, it's official. This will be my most hated Super Bowl since XXXIX. The only thing I will like in this is the halftime performer.

AFC – 20
NFC – 13