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Bert and Ernie watch as Bort struggles to free his leg from the makeshift anchor. "Should we have killed him first and then sunk him Bert?" Ernie asks "Nah, this is much more satisfying"

Bert and Ernie watch as Bort struggles to free his leg from the makeshift anchor. "Should we have killed him first and then sunk him Bert?" Ernie asks "Nah, this is much more satisfying"

bertstrips bert ernie bort drowning

Why do we hate Bort?

SESAME STREET Bort is frightened by the size of the shark dildo, but bert makes sure he cant run away

SESAME STREET Bort is frightened by the size of the shark dildo, but bert makes sure he cant run away

bertstrips bert ernie bort

Ernie's incompetence is ever-increasing.

Lefty is dissapointed that Ernie forgot his letters the A and E

Lefty is dissapointed that Ernie forgot his letters the A and E

bertstrips ernie lefty r p a e what's that spell?

Lessons From a Trusted Professional

Bill Cosby teaches Elmo how to d--------

Bill Cosby teaches Elmo how to d--------

bertstrips elmo bill cosby

Bleach and Laxatives II: The Bortening

The BDSM & CP enthusiasts (("(DIlilítil"(0)mí, ii.ll1們(0))01們Wey]bl(l)) of 'Bleach-drinking Bort'

The BDSM & CP enthusiasts (("(DIlilítil"(0)mí, ii.ll1們(0))01們Wey]bl(l)) of 'Bleach-drinking Bort'

bertstrips cookie monster bort bleach freak show bdsm & cp confrontation

Elmo gets plastic surgery.

PBS With his new lips, Elmo would give the meanest b------- around

PBS With his new lips, Elmo would give the meanest b------- around

elmo sesame street

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Bert is horrified to see Ernie's pathetic excuse for Klan attire. "What the f---? You stupid red-nosed t---------! They'll f------ kill us if you turn up looking like that!"

Bert is horrified to see Ernie's pathetic excuse for Klan attire. "What the f---? You stupid red-nosed t---------! They'll f------ kill us if you turn up looking like that!"

bert ernie bert and ernie kkk

Nothing worked on Bort before, maybe we'll get him this time!

Frustrated with their failed attempts, Bert and Ernie brainstorm for new recipes for the laxative & bleach concoction for Bort

Frustrated with their failed attempts, Bert and Ernie brainstorm for new recipes for the laxative & bleach concoction for Bort

bertstrips bert ernie bort laxatives bleach

Well, THAT escalated quickly!

Bert's successful Spirit Walk enables him to become one with nature, reclaim his Native American ancestry, and the ability to open a tax-exempt casino in Sesame Street

Bert's successful Spirit Walk enables him to become one with nature, reclaim his Native American ancestry, and the ability to open a tax-exempt casino in Sesame Street

bertstrips bert spirit walk nature casino

Who is THAT handsome fucker?

"I'd f--- me Bert. I'd f--- me so hard."

"I'd f--- me Bert. I'd f--- me so hard."

bertstrips ernie bert mirror selfcest the silence of the lambs buffalo bill

Bertstrips: Feed Them to the Pigs

Bert & Ernie didn't expect the bodies to smell so badly after only a few days in the sun. They agree that it's best if they start feeding their victims to the pigs instead

Bert & Ernie didn't expect the bodies to smell so badly after only a few days in the sun. They agree that it's best if they start feeding their victims to the pigs instead

bert ernie sesame street pbs bertstrips ruined childhood bodies

Fifty Shades of Bertstrips

Ernie and Bert read 50 Shades Of Grey. "Are you sure this isnt a book about us?" asks Ernie

Ernie and Bert read 50 Shades Of Grey. "Are you sure this isnt a book about us?" asks Ernie

bertstrips bert ernie fifty shades of grey

I think we can make a Bertstrips fanfic devoted to the full history of Bort.

Ernie, get the dart gun and duct tape. I think Bort found its way out of the basement

Ernie, get the dart gun and duct tape. I think Bort found its way out of the basement

bertstrips bert ernie bort

THIS PAGE HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY SECURELY. REASON: SEXUAL. KEYWORD(S): "STRIPS". FUCK YOU.

NO Ernie is going to kick Grover ass after he put a parental block on his computer

NO Ernie is going to kick Grover ass after he put a parental block on his computer

bertstrips ernie internet parental block web filter

I regret nothing.

GOAT Ernie reveals to Bert which animal he'll be sucking off tonight for their "Animal Friends with Benefits" webcast.

GOAT Ernie reveals to Bert which animal he'll be sucking off tonight for their "Animal Friends with Benefits" webcast.

bertstrips ernie bert goat goat-tan

This is why fanfic.net is limited to text only.

Abby converts Zoe's erotic "Elmo x Zoey" fanfic to a virtual-video format

Abby converts Zoe's erotic "Elmo x Zoey" fanfic to a virtual-video format

bertstrips abby zoe elmo fanfiction sex tape oh god why

Live from New York!

Bert decides to give Ernie his d--- in a box

Bert decides to give Ernie his d--- in a box

bertstrips bert ernie the lonely island saturday night live

Goddammit, Ernie!

"You have to retire, Bert! You can't fight anymore!" ". .Ernie, just who the hell are you supposed to be?" "What? Um, I'm Adrian. You know, Rocky's wife?" "Ernie, we're doing a Back to the Future parody. Why would you even think we're doing a Rocky strip?" "Well, I saw the 'V' in the post title. So I figured it must be about Rocky since I recognize that 'V' thing." "That's a roman numeral! It means this is the fifth one of these we've done! If you'd read the rest of the title you'd know what we were doing. Damn it, Ernie! That's another perfectly good Bert Strip you've managed to f--- up with your illiteracy!"

"You have to retire, Bert! You can't fight anymore!" ". .Ernie, just who the hell are you supposed to be?" "What? Um, I'm Adrian. You know, Rocky's wife?" "Ernie, we're doing a Back to the Future parody. Why would you even think we're doing a Rocky strip?" "Well, I saw the 'V' in the post title. So I figured it must be about Rocky since I recognize that 'V' thing." "That's a roman numeral! It means this is the fifth one of these we've done! If you'd read the rest of the title you'd know what we were doing. Damn it, Ernie! That's another perfectly good Bert Strip you've managed to f--- up with your illiteracy!"

bertstrips bert ernie back to the future rocky illiteracy

"Let me be your Monica Lewinsky!"

Ernie explains to Bert how to bribe Bill Clinton

Ernie explains to Bert how to bribe Bill Clinton

bertstrips ernie bill clinton monica lewinsky

Sesame Street is doomed

Elmo declares facism

Elmo declares facism