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: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)22:46:45 No.849623670 >be me >enjoy playing game >many people do as well >most active multiplayer game from company >no updates >ffw 1 year 29 KB JPG >no updates >ffw 2 years >no updates guys its been 3 years with no major update in team fortress 2, c'mon valve, i just want a decent update thats not just community creations.

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: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:22:47 No.849732160 >be me >get bored >order a pizza >pretend to be a pizza delivery guy >deliver pizzas to random people >hope to find a qt girl who lives alone and who likes pizza 154 KB PNG >thats all i need >eventually run into a few >p--- lied to me, whatever >around 70% of people actually decide to pay me for my pizza >others say they didnt order it >no loss >i guess people want pizzas some people just dont order them >idea.jpg >a pizza is 4 dollars at the store, ill sell it for 6 >buy 20 pizzas >sell all of them to random people pretending to be a delivery guy >40 dollar profit for selling 20 pizzas >do this when i need extra money

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: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)23:05:07 No.61291765 >be me the devil >chilling out in the garden of eden one day >over hear f-- chad god telling two mammals not to eat a certain fruit from a tree or they'll die >tell the woman it's a lie 10 KB JPG >she trusts me and eats it >doesn't die >she tells the man he also eats and doesn't die >they become enlightened and go on their merry way >feelsgoodman.wav >few thousand years pass >find out those mammals have an entire civilisation with huge towers and everyone is united, looks neat >god disagrees and smites them making the mammals speak different languages and s--- >d-------.gif >couple more thousand years pass by >hear god drowned almost all of those mammals with little warning >left one who build a big f------ boat and his mates alive to repopulate >ignore god's antics for about 3000 years >hear that he had a son >and that god f----- off and left another man to raise the kid >decide I want to meet the kid >find this d------ wandering a desert malnourished and dehydrated barely alive >ohshit.jpg >beg this guy to eat and drink so that he doesn't die >says l'm tempting him and to basically f--- off >decide to hide for a bit then replenish him when he passes out >lay low after that and chill in hell >hear news of gods kid dying >rip >hear god turned around and acted like it was all part of "the plan' >muck about for about 2000 years after that and decide to see how those mammals are doing >looks good they really expanded >hear god published a book that's really popular >decide f--- it and read it >details all the people he's killed and lives he ruined and doesn't take accountability >parts about me in this book >all rather accurate on what happened >cheersgod.pdf >decide that I want to find out people thoughts about the book >mfw everyone loves god for killing almost the entire planet but hate me for making a few mistakes

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File: monkas.png (211 KB, 1200x675) Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:34:11 No.787503440 ITT: When your realised you were retarded >be me >10 years old >on holiday with family >we have a trailer tent >chillin in my bed >rumbleinthejungle.jpeg >haul ass to the camp sites toilets >the door to the only stall is locked >can't be bothered looking to see if someone's in there. >decide to s--- in urinal >at least 6 inch log >for some reason I decide to pick up the log and throw it over the stall door >hear someone in the stall shout "THE F---" >hear him fall off the toilet >run away >mfw O Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)21:35:32 No.787503509 >>787503440 (OP) Imao This is why we shouldn't euthanize tards, humanity needs the comedic relief.

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3, 700x525) O Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)04:26:06 No.849682495 [Reply] >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do? + 65 replies and 13 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)04:47:48 No.849684013 >>849682495 (OP) Do a 360 and walk away

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| Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)12:29:22 No.849666932 >hello can you hear me? 202 KB JPG 6 Replies / 4 Images View Thread : Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)12:33:57 No.849667230 >>849666932 (OP) # speak up I'm wearing a towel. 44 KB JPG

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: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:58:35 No.849733154 >be me >a good boy >eating tendies >a wendys worker cutie girl delivers my dewy >mom tells me to thank her 24 KB JPG >this girl is waifu material >thank you m'lady >she starts yelling that she does not identify as a lady and that her pronouns are them/they >sorry, m'theydy >they gift me a box of tendies >life is good

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DOOM is the based a game can g(...) 03/14/21(Sun)18:01:42 No.548036150 doom.jpg 352 KB JPG >main character swole >doesnot speak much >uses extreme violence instead of words >rips and tears everyone with his raw strength >only thing ((they)) fear is him. >no living women in game. >one living women >you have to kill her. DOOM is based and anyone who disagrees is a woman.

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Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)12:42:41 No.849647451 >be french f----- >be faguette

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>be me >angry as f--- >get home >feel like punching my door >go to fridge >get chocolate milk 153 KB GIF >drink milk >nerves calm >milk makes me happy >now in good mood >thanks milk

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: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)12:44:47 No.849652827 >be me >degenerate >get drunk af and decide to check if im bisexual one and for all >call a random dude from grindr to sad apu my place to f--- >he gets to my place 51 KB PNG >starts putting my d--- in his ass >w-- i dont want aids >uhh what about protection >"f--- you you wasted my f------ time" >"um... sorry?" >"let me at least c--" >realize this is f------ gross to me >dude proceeds to j------- and c-- on my stomach >holy f--- i wanna throw up >he leaves >spend the day washing myself and throwing up >still remember how awful that was sometimes at night >i confirmed im straight

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: Anonymous 10/04/18(Thu)17:51:26 No.781496673 >Be me >Taking to friend >Says he f----- a Gatorade bottle and it felt really good >Decide to try it out later that day >D--- doesn't fit 154 KB PNG >idea.jpeg >Stick soft c--- in bottle and watch p--- until it's hard >When I achieved about a half chub I realized I f----- up >Try to pull out c--- but it was too late >Bottle squeezing my d--- with the force of 10 Ben Shapiros >On the ground writhing in pain >Bottle acting like a super c--- ring and keeping my d--- hard for over 10 minutes >Bust a fat nut in the gatorade bottle >Finally get my d--- out about a minute later Overall l'd rate the experience a 7/10 would do again.

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: Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:17:47 No.799888486 > Be me > Goes downstairs to the condo's gym > 9/10 girl on one of the treadmills > Says hi > Hops on the other treadmill 22 KB JPG besides her > She's perfect: 1.60m / mid to large boobs / brunette > We're both running and share some glances > She finishes her exercise > Smiles at me before leaving and says "goodbye" > feelsgoodman.jpg I've seen other girls there, but your average 5 or 6/10. Never such perfection. : Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:19:22 No.799888586 >>799888486 (OP) # Break into her house and c-- in her shampoo

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: Anonymous 01/05/19(Sat)11:22:53 No.50255501 >Make female friend in class >Little older than me, but still smaller than me and hot as hell >Starts inviting me out for coffee after class, just me and her 648 KB PNG >Text each other constantly >Goes on for about a month >Totally convinced she likes me, thinking about making a move >One day start talking about cats, say 'd never want one >"But anon, what if your future husband wants one?" >Silence, we just stare at each other >"...you're gay, right anon?" What the f--- I f------ hate women

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Anonymous 10/26/14(Sun)23:45:49 No.29298147 >ask girl out on a date >she says yes sask her what time her dad can drive us to the movies >she just gives me a blank stare 153 KB JPG >ok well you guys should pick me up around 7 >give her fist bump and run home in excitement >her and her dad pick me up around 7 >no one says a word on the way there >he drops us off >as I'm getting out of the car I stop and ask him for the money for the movie >he just stares at me >politely inform him movies don't grow on trees >he gives me $30 >l clear my throat and keep my hand out >he gives me another $10 >I roll my eyes and "thanks, guy" really sarcastically >girl I asked out is looking super embarrassed >get to the ticket window >did your dad give you any money for the movie? >she looks like she's about to cry >well you should call him because he only gave me enough for myself and some food >we didn't go on a second date

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: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 КВ PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"

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Hitler plays among us 09/25/20(Fri)18:20:59 No.526132461 >Be me sick & depressed loser >Play among us >Name myself "Der Führer" >shitsandgiggles.jpeg >Go to Euro f-- servers >Join game 11 KB GIF >Players see name >Everyone says "heil hitler" >mfw when playing with actual nazis >Random f-- calls me sus >Everyone votes him out >Everyone says "heil" >Thirdreich.mp4 >Emergency meetings left and right >Purging un loyal players >Players say "what do >"Take him to ze camp" you think my führer" %3D >mfw when I'm actually important in life >Players say "heil" every meeting >No heil = sus >Horrified I turned game into nazi germany >shitmypants.zip >Imposter sent to camp >Game finishes >Decide that's enough games >Become cured >No longer sick & depressed

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Anonymous | 49679001 16 mins ago •.. >tfw you ask people how old do they think you are and they say 30 >tfw I was offered a seat on the bus yesterday I'm only 27 I still have time.. 181.9 kB JPG

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File: CA08378A-9CA4-4340-BA25-6(...).jpg (289 KB, 640x663) EXODUS 17A/ U Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)16:56:51 No.849605257 [Reply] >girl looks at me and smiles >i immediately get an erection what the f--- have i become

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