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Anon has sleep paralysis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/17(Wed)13:48:25 No.19385128 Weirdest sleep paralysis story? Ill start >Wake up looking at ceiling >Can't move >Grudge looking ass baby comes in 7 KB JPG >Starts dancing on my chest >Utters these exact words I MAY BE DEAD, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE!" >Start laughing >He laughs with me >Kisses me on my nose "See ya again, buttercup!! >Wake up with my pants covered with semen
: Anonymous 08/02/17(Wed)13:48:25 No.19385128 Weirdest sleep paralysis story? Ill start >Wake up looking at ceiling >Can't move >Grudge looking ass baby comes in 7 KB JPG >Starts dancing on my chest >Utters these exact words I MAY BE DEAD, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE!" >Start laughing >He laughs with me >Kisses me on my nose "See ya again, buttercup!! >Wake up with my pants covered with semen

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Anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)18:32:25 No.64044619 >she found the c-- cucumber 1.47 MB GIF
Anonymous 06/07/21(Mon)18:32:25 No.64044619 >she found the c-- cucumber 1.47 MB GIF

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)23:50:48 No.63958083 >be me >sad >listen to music >its good >thanks music 11 KB JPG
Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)23:50:48 No.63958083 >be me >sad >listen to music >its good >thanks music 11 KB JPG

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Anon needs advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)09:55:10 No.857038670 >be me >bored as f--- at home >go to the beach because its flaming hot outside >see three girls hanging out at the beach How should I aproach them? I am a average looking guy btw 166 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)10:01:02 No.857038890 Tell them you want to sniff their assholes
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)09:55:10 No.857038670 >be me >bored as f--- at home >go to the beach because its flaming hot outside >see three girls hanging out at the beach How should I aproach them? I am a average looking guy btw 166 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)10:01:02 No.857038890 Tell them you want to sniff their assholes

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Anon is mommy's special boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)06:53:59 No.64183930 >be me >mommy's 400 lb special boy >eating tasty tendies with spicy bbq dippy sauce >thought pops into my 300 IQ gamer brain >"food goes in mouthy hole, and 81 KB PNG doo doo comes out poopyhole; therefore if I put food in my poopyhole, doo doo will come out my mouthy hole!" >decide to test hypothesis >take last tendie and dip in sauce >stick it in poopy hole REEEEEEEЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ ЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ >mommy calls from other room "anon, why are you shouting, you have your tendies?" POO POO HOLE HURT POO POO HOLE HURT >"well maybe don't eat so much spicy sauce, and taking a shower can't hurt" >how DARE that bitch tell me how to live my life! >the anger bursts forth with a powerful bowel boom >tendie lodged in poopy hole shoots across the room with the force of a bullet >embeds in wall next to c---encrusted twilight sparkle poster >will get it later, have gaming to do now Seriously, this is the 8th time l've tried this experiment, with the same results. Am I doing something wrong? 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)06:53:59 No.64183930 >be me >mommy's 400 lb special boy >eating tasty tendies with spicy bbq dippy sauce >thought pops into my 300 IQ gamer brain >"food goes in mouthy hole, and 81 KB PNG doo doo comes out poopyhole; therefore if I put food in my poopyhole, doo doo will come out my mouthy hole!" >decide to test hypothesis >take last tendie and dip in sauce >stick it in poopy hole REEEEEEEЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ ЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ >mommy calls from other room "anon, why are you shouting, you have your tendies?" POO POO HOLE HURT POO POO HOLE HURT >"well maybe don't eat so much spicy sauce, and taking a shower can't hurt" >how DARE that bitch tell me how to live my life! >the anger bursts forth with a powerful bowel boom >tendie lodged in poopy hole shoots across the room with the force of a bullet >embeds in wall next to c---encrusted twilight sparkle poster >will get it later, have gaming to do now Seriously, this is the 8th time l've tried this experiment, with the same results. Am I doing something wrong? 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon plays xenoblade | /r/Greentext

>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me
>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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Anon visits the doctor for check up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)08:55:06 No.857021477 >chain smoker >hypochondriac >start heavily cough >fear the worst >go to doctor for a check- 57 KB JPG up >mmm yes anon this doesnt look too good >ohshit >run various tests >turns out I just contracted Covid >due to getting vaccinated weeks ago the coughing stopped by next week >didnt even have a fever >now I'm in 4k debt over hospital bill f---, if I had lung cancer that'd have been the better outcome
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)08:55:06 No.857021477 >chain smoker >hypochondriac >start heavily cough >fear the worst >go to doctor for a check- 57 KB JPG up >mmm yes anon this doesnt look too good >ohshit >run various tests >turns out I just contracted Covid >due to getting vaccinated weeks ago the coughing stopped by next week >didnt even have a fever >now I'm in 4k debt over hospital bill f---, if I had lung cancer that'd have been the better outcome

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Anon gets laid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)17:22:42 No.857033224 >sees qt3.14 on tinder >she's into girls >idea.jpg >change my gender . Become lesbian transwoman >popping estrogen pills >meet up with qt >have kinky roleplay with her 6 KB JPG >she takes off my pants >good ol 4 incher pops out >mfw she still suck it no questions asks >mfw i have the best sex ever >mfw she is now pregnant That's how you do it bros
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)17:22:42 No.857033224 >sees qt3.14 on tinder >she's into girls >idea.jpg >change my gender . Become lesbian transwoman >popping estrogen pills >meet up with qt >have kinky roleplay with her 6 KB JPG >she takes off my pants >good ol 4 incher pops out >mfw she still suck it no questions asks >mfw i have the best sex ever >mfw she is now pregnant That's how you do it bros

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anon reflects on women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.

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Anon finds out his favorite porn actress has passed away | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:28:48 No.20758895 >wake up with boner >guess i'll fap to my favorite pornwhore >type her name in search bar of [insert p--- site here] >start browsing videos >seen all so far >suddenly notice a compilation video >rest in peace tribute video >wait what >check comments >all of them are "F" "rip" "i'l miss her a------" >type her name in Gugleh >she really is dead >quickly message my coomer fren >whydidntyoutellmesheisdead.jpg >"bro she died more than three years ago, are u living under a rock or something why nobody told me August Ames died?! pic unrelated btw
Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:28:48 No.20758895 >wake up with boner >guess i'll fap to my favorite pornwhore >type her name in search bar of [insert p--- site here] >start browsing videos >seen all so far >suddenly notice a compilation video >rest in peace tribute video >wait what >check comments >all of them are "F" "rip" "i'l miss her a------" >type her name in Gugleh >she really is dead >quickly message my coomer fren >whydidntyoutellmesheisdead.jpg >"bro she died more than three years ago, are u living under a rock or something why nobody told me August Ames died?! pic unrelated btw

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Anon has a deep voice | /r/Greentext

..? >speak in vc >girls immediately dm me So this is the power of having a deep voice. 2h (6/17 7:13) · 64185336 JPG · 231KB · (1592 × 928) CT >>64185261 (OP) > speak in vc > everyone thinks im a 40 year old p-------- So this is the power of having a deep voice. 1h (6/17 8:37)·64186180 >tfw 6'2 but squeaky voice being a voicelet is suffering
..? >speak in vc >girls immediately dm me So this is the power of having a deep voice. 2h (6/17 7:13) · 64185336 JPG · 231KB · (1592 × 928) CT >>64185261 (OP) > speak in vc > everyone thinks im a 40 year old p-------- So this is the power of having a deep voice. 1h (6/17 8:37)·64186180 >tfw 6'2 but squeaky voice being a voicelet is suffering

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Anon decides to troll | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)08:32:07 No.64184899 > be me > decide to troll some people > make a discord 41 KB GIF > enter a leftist discord > say im a trans communist > insert myself as a respected member of the community > get a 20 year old e-boy bf > get into an argument with him after months > fake my death and delete my account > use my alt to rejoin > he attempted suicide and was institutionalized > mfw Anyone else have some /trolling/ stories? 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)08:32:07 No.64184899 > be me > decide to troll some people > make a discord 41 KB GIF > enter a leftist discord > say im a trans communist > insert myself as a respected member of the community > get a 20 year old e-boy bf > get into an argument with him after months > fake my death and delete my account > use my alt to rejoin > he attempted suicide and was institutionalized > mfw Anyone else have some /trolling/ stories? 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon sucks his friends feet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:38:37 No.64185596 >be me >footfag >have a male friend that wants to get their toes sucked >tell him I know where he's going with this and I'm not doing f-- stuff 18 KB JPG >friend says his feet are feminine eniugh) (its true) and we can do it not in a sexual way but more like a massage kind if thing cause he isnt a f-- either >after a lot of debating I realize l'll probably never get to suck a girl's toes so may as well try it >tell him l'll do it as long as his body and face are covered with a blanket and he doesn't di any soubds that remind me he is a man >he agrees, covers himself and takes off his shoes ">grab his feet and they are a bit smelly but not the hot kind of smelly >go to town on them >halfway through the f------ guy moans >realize what the f--- I'm doing and puke all over him and the couch >feel so disgusted with h myself and feet in general >gag every time I remember that day and deeply regret it >haven't really talked ti that guy sunce then >no longer a footfag 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)00:38:37 No.64185596 >be me >footfag >have a male friend that wants to get their toes sucked >tell him I know where he's going with this and I'm not doing f-- stuff 18 KB JPG >friend says his feet are feminine eniugh) (its true) and we can do it not in a sexual way but more like a massage kind if thing cause he isnt a f-- either >after a lot of debating I realize l'll probably never get to suck a girl's toes so may as well try it >tell him l'll do it as long as his body and face are covered with a blanket and he doesn't di any soubds that remind me he is a man >he agrees, covers himself and takes off his shoes ">grab his feet and they are a bit smelly but not the hot kind of smelly >go to town on them >halfway through the f------ guy moans >realize what the f--- I'm doing and puke all over him and the couch >feel so disgusted with h myself and feet in general >gag every time I remember that day and deeply regret it >haven't really talked ti that guy sunce then >no longer a footfag 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has an infection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)10:57:06 No.64187235 >cute girl with a fatass keeps asking me to go to the beach with her >really ugly nails due to fungus so always decline 54 KB JPG FUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKK : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)11:13:12 No.64187341 >>64187235 (OP) # just f------ do it anyway. a 10% chance of success is better than 0% you worthless retard. >>64187364 #
: Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)10:57:06 No.64187235 >cute girl with a fatass keeps asking me to go to the beach with her >really ugly nails due to fungus so always decline 54 KB JPG FUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKK : Anonymous 06/17/21(Thu)11:13:12 No.64187341 >>64187235 (OP) # just f------ do it anyway. a 10% chance of success is better than 0% you worthless retard. >>64187364 #

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Anon plays Resident Evil 4 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 05/22/21(Sat)18:00:18 No.145467471 Leon Resident_Evil_4_Ganado_village.png 416 KB PNG Is this what Spain is really like? : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat) 18:01:37 No.145467521 >they used Mexican voice actors >who delivered their lines with a Mexican accent I will never not be mad >>145467555 # >>145467591 # >>145468246 # >>145468284 # : Anonymous ·1 05/22/21(Sat)18:02:45 No.145467555 >>145467521 # its hard to hire spanish voice actors when all were taking siestas >>145467585 #
: Anonymous E 05/22/21(Sat)18:00:18 No.145467471 Leon Resident_Evil_4_Ganado_village.png 416 KB PNG Is this what Spain is really like? : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat) 18:01:37 No.145467521 >they used Mexican voice actors >who delivered their lines with a Mexican accent I will never not be mad >>145467555 # >>145467591 # >>145468246 # >>145468284 # : Anonymous ·1 05/22/21(Sat)18:02:45 No.145467555 >>145467521 # its hard to hire spanish voice actors when all were taking siestas >>145467585 #

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Anon has a mother | /r/Greentext

File: pepe a.jpg (5 KB, 219x123) Anonymous 05/19/19(Sun)19:55:51 No.800152406 ► Alright /b/ros I got a story for yous >Be me >14 >Don't share online stuff with parents, as usual for teens >One day, mom walks into room >Asks to see through my laptop and phone >Tell her no >She says she will ground me and take away EVERYTHING i have >Ask her if she would like if I looked through her PC and phone >"I have nothing to hide" >I'm forced to say yes >Finds my Reddit, Insta and Snap alongside my hentai stash >Oh s--- >Takes away my phone and laptop and makes me delete all my accs >Well f--- 3 months later >Be me >15 now, still feels violated of privacy since >Asks mom for her phone to watch YouTube >Agrees >Watch YT for a while, gets bored >Goes through her texts Oh s--- >Finds out she has been cheating on my dad with her co-worker >Tell Dad, show him the proof >Dad confronts mom, she tells the truth >Dad files for divorce and wins custody of me and little sis 1 month later >Visiting mom, she's living with a friend >Confess to her that I was the one who told dad >She is shocked and asks why >"You said you had nothing to hide so I checked to make sure" >She remembers when she took my laptop and phone, etc >Starts bawling and says I ruined her life, etc >loldontcare.mp3 >Dad comes to pick me and sis up >Mom screams "I never ever want to see you again" >K >Drive away It's been 3 years and I haven't talked to her since. F--- you mom, you cheating w----.
File: pepe a.jpg (5 KB, 219x123) Anonymous 05/19/19(Sun)19:55:51 No.800152406 ► Alright /b/ros I got a story for yous >Be me >14 >Don't share online stuff with parents, as usual for teens >One day, mom walks into room >Asks to see through my laptop and phone >Tell her no >She says she will ground me and take away EVERYTHING i have >Ask her if she would like if I looked through her PC and phone >"I have nothing to hide" >I'm forced to say yes >Finds my Reddit, Insta and Snap alongside my hentai stash >Oh s--- >Takes away my phone and laptop and makes me delete all my accs >Well f--- 3 months later >Be me >15 now, still feels violated of privacy since >Asks mom for her phone to watch YouTube >Agrees >Watch YT for a while, gets bored >Goes through her texts Oh s--- >Finds out she has been cheating on my dad with her co-worker >Tell Dad, show him the proof >Dad confronts mom, she tells the truth >Dad files for divorce and wins custody of me and little sis 1 month later >Visiting mom, she's living with a friend >Confess to her that I was the one who told dad >She is shocked and asks why >"You said you had nothing to hide so I checked to make sure" >She remembers when she took my laptop and phone, etc >Starts bawling and says I ruined her life, etc >loldontcare.mp3 >Dad comes to pick me and sis up >Mom screams "I never ever want to see you again" >K >Drive away It's been 3 years and I haven't talked to her since. F--- you mom, you cheating w----.

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