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Greentext Stories - Images (47,500 results)

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Medieval photography | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 420 KB JPG darkening) 08/20/25(Wed)00:37:20 No. 17936080 >In the 12th century, people already knew silver salts darken with light >camera obscura also existed and could project real images >If someone had combined the two, they could have captured a picture (the missing step was figuring out how to stop the whole plate from >So technically, medieval photos were possible, but nobody made the connection >we only got photography in the 19th century it took us too long to figure it out Anonymous 08/20/25(Wed)08:50:21 No. 17936667 >TFW we missed out on actual photos of the Crusades, Constantinople before it got BTFO, and the Aztec Empire. It's not fair...
Anonymous 420 KB JPG darkening) 08/20/25(Wed)00:37:20 No. 17936080 >In the 12th century, people already knew silver salts darken with light >camera obscura also existed and could project real images >If someone had combined the two, they could have captured a picture (the missing step was figuring out how to stop the whole plate from >So technically, medieval photos were possible, but nobody made the connection >we only got photography in the 19th century it took us too long to figure it out Anonymous 08/20/25(Wed)08:50:21 No. 17936667 >TFW we missed out on actual photos of the Crusades, Constantinople before it got BTFO, and the Aztec Empire. It's not fair...

Greentext Stories

Mr. Freeze in training | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Medical thread? Medical thread(...) 10 KB JPG 04/16/23(Sun)21:34:38 No.897733181 >10 years old. >Got prescribed with a disability. >Said disability is where a part of my body that regulates body temp is nonfunctional. >Parents and I didn't get what was going on, so I was taken to the doctor, again, after the trillionth time to get diagnosed. >Finally got to a doctor who knew his s--- >Doctor asked if I liked Godzilla. REALLY liked Godzilla. >Child brain went into overdrive and began a small conversation. >Doctor asked if I ever had seen Godzilla vs Destoroyah >Yes. >Doctor told me I can f------ melt down like a nuclear reactor by explaining Burning Godzilla. >Immediately realized my problem. >I'll die if I overheat. All I gotta do is stay cold, basically. 4 Replies/1 Image View Thread
Anonymous Medical thread? Medical thread(...) 10 KB JPG 04/16/23(Sun)21:34:38 No.897733181 >10 years old. >Got prescribed with a disability. >Said disability is where a part of my body that regulates body temp is nonfunctional. >Parents and I didn't get what was going on, so I was taken to the doctor, again, after the trillionth time to get diagnosed. >Finally got to a doctor who knew his s--- >Doctor asked if I liked Godzilla. REALLY liked Godzilla. >Child brain went into overdrive and began a small conversation. >Doctor asked if I ever had seen Godzilla vs Destoroyah >Yes. >Doctor told me I can f------ melt down like a nuclear reactor by explaining Burning Godzilla. >Immediately realized my problem. >I'll die if I overheat. All I gotta do is stay cold, basically. 4 Replies/1 Image View Thread

Greentext Stories

Anon watches Siskel & Ebert | /r/Greentext

File: 1393794110239.jpg-(160 KB, 1000x787, siskel-and-ebert-defend-s(...).jpg) AT THE MOVIES GENE SISKEL ROGER EBERT Anonymous 03/02/14(Sun)16:01 No.42052202 >watching old Siskel & Ebert reviews >love hearing them talk passionately about the movies >mind starts wandering > either of them could be wearing a buttplug and none of us would ever know >feel disgusted and close tab Anonymous 03/02/14(Sun)16:43 No.42053632 oh, goddamn it
File: 1393794110239.jpg-(160 KB, 1000x787, siskel-and-ebert-defend-s(...).jpg) AT THE MOVIES GENE SISKEL ROGER EBERT Anonymous 03/02/14(Sun)16:01 No.42052202 >watching old Siskel & Ebert reviews >love hearing them talk passionately about the movies >mind starts wandering > either of them could be wearing a buttplug and none of us would ever know >feel disgusted and close tab Anonymous 03/02/14(Sun)16:43 No.42053632 oh, goddamn it

Greentext Stories

Mooom, Phineas and Ferb are shooting at protestors | /r/Greentext

5huuuvy8sb2a1.jpg 31 KB JPG >BUT, BUT, BU.. IT WAS RIGHT HERE!
5huuuvy8sb2a1.jpg 31 KB JPG >BUT, BUT, BU.. IT WAS RIGHT HERE!

Greentext Stories

Anon eats noodles | /r/Greentext

>This persists until age 17 Anonymous 08/19/25(Tue)12:34:32 No.82236019 ► >Born to an neglectful family >Dad was a franchise owner for a local fast food place >Takes leftover food home after the restaurant closes to save money on groceries >Feeds me these leftovers for every single meal >Don't get to drink anything but water because they're convinced soda was "bad or you" despite feeding me fast food all the time >Become overweight and type 2 diabetic anyway >Kids at school make fun of me >No friends >Dad suddenly dies of cardiac arrest >Inherit the restaurant days before I turn 18 >Easy money, career set >Decide to go out on my own and try some new foods before I'm surrounded by fast food for the rest of my life >Visit Japanese restaurant >So many choices >Ramen, udon, soba, you name it >Order the ramen >H-------- what have I been missing >Wash it down with water because of the diabetes and all that >Overwhelmed with emotion >Noodles are the best no doubt can't deny >Tastes better than water, but don't ask me why >MFW
>This persists until age 17 Anonymous 08/19/25(Tue)12:34:32 No.82236019 ► >Born to an neglectful family >Dad was a franchise owner for a local fast food place >Takes leftover food home after the restaurant closes to save money on groceries >Feeds me these leftovers for every single meal >Don't get to drink anything but water because they're convinced soda was "bad or you" despite feeding me fast food all the time >Become overweight and type 2 diabetic anyway >Kids at school make fun of me >No friends >Dad suddenly dies of cardiac arrest >Inherit the restaurant days before I turn 18 >Easy money, career set >Decide to go out on my own and try some new foods before I'm surrounded by fast food for the rest of my life >Visit Japanese restaurant >So many choices >Ramen, udon, soba, you name it >Order the ramen >H-------- what have I been missing >Wash it down with water because of the diabetes and all that >Overwhelmed with emotion >Noodles are the best no doubt can't deny >Tastes better than water, but don't ask me why >MFW

Greentext Stories

Say noodles again motherfucker | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO +975493.jpg, 70KiB, 1200x1202 F------ hell Anonymous Sat 16 Aug 2025 03:42:11 No.82198311 View Report >regret voytek10107w Ni gao 337K Well, I've finally decided to get the f--- out of this place. Story time >be me >get invited to a party >get there >friend introduces me to and absolute 10 >IDK what do, ask her out for a "flash date" >cool, smart, pretty >doesn't mind my time >we get along >my retarded ass for some reason announces that I hate women >date over >my friend trying to explain I'm just retarded and don't mean it >fumbled it for a meme I'm getting the f--- out of here, I like women, they are cool and I want to experience s---, wish you boys well and hope you do the same
View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO +975493.jpg, 70KiB, 1200x1202 F------ hell Anonymous Sat 16 Aug 2025 03:42:11 No.82198311 View Report >regret voytek10107w Ni gao 337K Well, I've finally decided to get the f--- out of this place. Story time >be me >get invited to a party >get there >friend introduces me to and absolute 10 >IDK what do, ask her out for a "flash date" >cool, smart, pretty >doesn't mind my time >we get along >my retarded ass for some reason announces that I hate women >date over >my friend trying to explain I'm just retarded and don't mean it >fumbled it for a meme I'm getting the f--- out of here, I like women, they are cool and I want to experience s---, wish you boys well and hope you do the same

Greentext Stories

Anon gets a zoomer gf. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DAD 250 KB PNG "rizzless" >be me 28 08/20/25(Wed)16:13:10 No.82248072 >dating 19 y/o >try talking about movies, music, life experiences >she says "that's so mid fr fr" and "big mood, not gonna lie" >brings up Tik Tok trends I don't understand >talks about "vibe checks" >she laughs when I don't get it calls me >realize she was in elementary school when I graduated high school Guys I might just date a hag my age
Anonymous DAD 250 KB PNG "rizzless" >be me 28 08/20/25(Wed)16:13:10 No.82248072 >dating 19 y/o >try talking about movies, music, life experiences >she says "that's so mid fr fr" and "big mood, not gonna lie" >brings up Tik Tok trends I don't understand >talks about "vibe checks" >she laughs when I don't get it calls me >realize she was in elementary school when I graduated high school Guys I might just date a hag my age

Greentext Stories

Anon is still hurt over Veilguard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4D Business move DRAGON AGE THE VEILGUARD 211 KB JPG 08/20/25(Wed)14:25:18 No.718602589 >Bioware: "We could just remaster DA 1-3. Cheap, easy copy & paste, guaranteed profit." >EA: "Nah, we can't waste money on something gamers would actually enjoy." >Bioware Newbies: "We reinvented the series as a workplace empathy sim with cartoon graphics. It took us 10 years and $500 million" >EA: "Brilliant. Ship it." This isn't even greed anymore, it's self-sabotage.
Anonymous 4D Business move DRAGON AGE THE VEILGUARD 211 KB JPG 08/20/25(Wed)14:25:18 No.718602589 >Bioware: "We could just remaster DA 1-3. Cheap, easy copy & paste, guaranteed profit." >EA: "Nah, we can't waste money on something gamers would actually enjoy." >Bioware Newbies: "We reinvented the series as a workplace empathy sim with cartoon graphics. It took us 10 years and $500 million" >EA: "Brilliant. Ship it." This isn't even greed anymore, it's self-sabotage.

Greentext Stories

In Da Crib | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 50 SCENTS 529 KB JPG 08/20/25(Wed) 06:45:57 No.938702088 >Go, go, go, go... >Yeah, Shorty, it's your birthday... >We gon' party like it's your birthday... >Eat guacamole like it's your birthday... >You can find me in the crib, bottle in my lap >Moms is sound asleep, I'm 'bout to make a brap >Sittin' in my swing, I'm gettin' kinda full >Got that rumblin' feelin', gonna break the rules >First, I drink the milk, then I start to squirm >Got that gurgly sound, it's about to turn <Momma thinks I'm dreamin', but she's dead wrong >I been holdin' this in for way too long >My diaper's gettin' plump, it's feelin' kinda tight >Lookin' at my booty, yeah, I did it right >My diaper's gettin' plump, it's feelin' kinda full >You know my tummy's empty, and my bladder's pullin' >If you ain't fillin' diapers, then you can't get in >This baby club is exclusive, let the mess begin >I'm on a mission now, I'm droppin' somethin' serious >Got my onesie open, feelin' so mysterious >No more little farts, no more little toots >This ain't just a dribble, this is my big poop >Feel the pressure buildin', oh it's comin' on strong >Now my pants are heavy, where do I belong? >In the crib, on the floor, on the changing mat >Don't you dare come near me, I'm a poopy diplomat
: Anonymous 50 SCENTS 529 KB JPG 08/20/25(Wed) 06:45:57 No.938702088 >Go, go, go, go... >Yeah, Shorty, it's your birthday... >We gon' party like it's your birthday... >Eat guacamole like it's your birthday... >You can find me in the crib, bottle in my lap >Moms is sound asleep, I'm 'bout to make a brap >Sittin' in my swing, I'm gettin' kinda full >Got that rumblin' feelin', gonna break the rules >First, I drink the milk, then I start to squirm >Got that gurgly sound, it's about to turn <Momma thinks I'm dreamin', but she's dead wrong >I been holdin' this in for way too long >My diaper's gettin' plump, it's feelin' kinda tight >Lookin' at my booty, yeah, I did it right >My diaper's gettin' plump, it's feelin' kinda full >You know my tummy's empty, and my bladder's pullin' >If you ain't fillin' diapers, then you can't get in >This baby club is exclusive, let the mess begin >I'm on a mission now, I'm droppin' somethin' serious >Got my onesie open, feelin' so mysterious >No more little farts, no more little toots >This ain't just a dribble, this is my big poop >Feel the pressure buildin', oh it's comin' on strong >Now my pants are heavy, where do I belong? >In the crib, on the floor, on the changing mat >Don't you dare come near me, I'm a poopy diplomat

Greentext Stories

Anon on Boomers. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 55 KB JPG >be me 08/20/25(Wed)09:41:31 No.82245107 >cleaning out grandparents' attic after they pass >find a huge box labeled "fine china" >open it, it's some Royal Doulton set or whatever >looks like it was never used >google the pattern, turns out it was like $500 back in the late 50s >mfw that's over $5,000 in today's money >boomers really spent several months salary on plates you can't even microwave >they used paper plates for cookouts but had a $5k paperweight in the cabinet >and they called millennials dumb with money
Anonymous 55 KB JPG >be me 08/20/25(Wed)09:41:31 No.82245107 >cleaning out grandparents' attic after they pass >find a huge box labeled "fine china" >open it, it's some Royal Doulton set or whatever >looks like it was never used >google the pattern, turns out it was like $500 back in the late 50s >mfw that's over $5,000 in today's money >boomers really spent several months salary on plates you can't even microwave >they used paper plates for cookouts but had a $5k paperweight in the cabinet >and they called millennials dumb with money

Greentext Stories

Anon goes on a podcast | /r/Greentext

podcasters.jpg ✅ (10 KB, 275x183) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 08/20/25(Wed)07:32:48 No.938701757 >see ad on bluesky >"PENIS MEASURING CONTEST: SKEET YOUR UNCENSORED PENIS TO @iwriteallday@bluesky.com! THE BIGGEST D--- WINNER WILL GET TO APPEAR ON AMERICA'S HOTTEST PODCAST...ASSESSING THE ASSHOLES!" >let's do this s--- >one month later >theme song plays >boom ba CHICK boom BOOM boom boom >"WHAAAAAAAT'S HIDING, MY FETISHES? I'M CONNOR BLEVINS, AND THIS...IS ASSESSING THE ASSHOLES! The show where we talk about the WORST people from ALL of history. Joining me today is my producer...Jodie Zimmerman!" >"Jodie, we have a special guest today." >"Who, the guy with the big d---?" >"Did you see it?" >"I did. Unreal." >"Makes Willem Defoe look like a Chinaman-" >"CONNOR!" > "What, Jodie? It's a podcast. It's not cable. I can say Chinaman if I want to." >"Connor, can we just get back to the script?" >"You're right, Sophie. Anon, if you want to prove that pic you sent was really you, you need show us. Take your pants off." >"...wait what? No..c'mon guys, the podcast isn't about me, it's about the assholes! So what a------ are we assessing this week?" >"It's D--- Cheney, but who f------ cares. You need to show us your f------ d---, anon." >spaghetti falls out of pockets >end call what the f--- do i do? they won't stop calling me
podcasters.jpg ✅ (10 KB, 275x183) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 08/20/25(Wed)07:32:48 No.938701757 >see ad on bluesky >"PENIS MEASURING CONTEST: SKEET YOUR UNCENSORED PENIS TO @iwriteallday@bluesky.com! THE BIGGEST D--- WINNER WILL GET TO APPEAR ON AMERICA'S HOTTEST PODCAST...ASSESSING THE ASSHOLES!" >let's do this s--- >one month later >theme song plays >boom ba CHICK boom BOOM boom boom >"WHAAAAAAAT'S HIDING, MY FETISHES? I'M CONNOR BLEVINS, AND THIS...IS ASSESSING THE ASSHOLES! The show where we talk about the WORST people from ALL of history. Joining me today is my producer...Jodie Zimmerman!" >"Jodie, we have a special guest today." >"Who, the guy with the big d---?" >"Did you see it?" >"I did. Unreal." >"Makes Willem Defoe look like a Chinaman-" >"CONNOR!" > "What, Jodie? It's a podcast. It's not cable. I can say Chinaman if I want to." >"Connor, can we just get back to the script?" >"You're right, Sophie. Anon, if you want to prove that pic you sent was really you, you need show us. Take your pants off." >"...wait what? No..c'mon guys, the podcast isn't about me, it's about the assholes! So what a------ are we assessing this week?" >"It's D--- Cheney, but who f------ cares. You need to show us your f------ d---, anon." >spaghetti falls out of pockets >end call what the f--- do i do? they won't stop calling me

Greentext Stories

Anon changes his worldview. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 77 KB PNG 08/20/25(Wed)05:47:05 No.82243642 >lost my ex gf in April because I criticized radfems hating men online >grieve for 2 months >start meeting new people >my worldview gradually starts to shift >get interested in civil rights >read feminist literature >realize the patriarchy isn't just about violence and r---, but it involves enforcing a strict binary system that affects negatively men as much as women on a subconscious level >mfw I'm a victim of patriarchy myself because I was ostracized and bullied for being the quiet kid >mfw figured out radfems (not the misandrists) are actually my allies in the battle against social discrimination and sexual exploitation Anonymous >>82243642 (OP) 08/20/25(Wed)07:32:47 No.82244181 >try to tell ex that I've changed my worldview >she's dating a conservative gymbro now many such cases
Anonymous 77 KB PNG 08/20/25(Wed)05:47:05 No.82243642 >lost my ex gf in April because I criticized radfems hating men online >grieve for 2 months >start meeting new people >my worldview gradually starts to shift >get interested in civil rights >read feminist literature >realize the patriarchy isn't just about violence and r---, but it involves enforcing a strict binary system that affects negatively men as much as women on a subconscious level >mfw I'm a victim of patriarchy myself because I was ostracized and bullied for being the quiet kid >mfw figured out radfems (not the misandrists) are actually my allies in the battle against social discrimination and sexual exploitation Anonymous >>82243642 (OP) 08/20/25(Wed)07:32:47 No.82244181 >try to tell ex that I've changed my worldview >she's dating a conservative gymbro now many such cases

Greentext Stories

Anon does standup | /r/Greentext

louisck.jpg (15 KB, 250x333) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 08/20/25(Wed)04:51:51 No.938698956 >be autistic >think i'm kinda funny, but not sure >only one way to find out >go to open mic >have two drinks to calm nerves >get on stage >gotta open with a banger >here goes nothing >"a lot of people think i'm racist just because i have slaves." >... >... > >"um...uh..." >run autism.exe >"I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet...but your kids are gonna love it" >run off stage and shout "MCFLY OUT!" in case they didn't know i was referencing back to the future
louisck.jpg (15 KB, 250x333) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 08/20/25(Wed)04:51:51 No.938698956 >be autistic >think i'm kinda funny, but not sure >only one way to find out >go to open mic >have two drinks to calm nerves >get on stage >gotta open with a banger >here goes nothing >"a lot of people think i'm racist just because i have slaves." >... >... > >"um...uh..." >run autism.exe >"I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet...but your kids are gonna love it" >run off stage and shout "MCFLY OUT!" in case they didn't know i was referencing back to the future

Greentext Stories

Anon gets an update. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/20/25(Wed)02:55:51 No.82242893 Configuring Windows updates 98% complete Don't turn off your computer 99 KB JPG >be me >hours into Photoshop masterpiece >unsaved layers everywhere >Windows: "Updates are ready to install" >click postpone >computer restarts anyway >mfw 4 hours of work gone That's it I'm getting a Mac
Anonymous 08/20/25(Wed)02:55:51 No.82242893 Configuring Windows updates 98% complete Don't turn off your computer 99 KB JPG >be me >hours into Photoshop masterpiece >unsaved layers everywhere >Windows: "Updates are ready to install" >click postpone >computer restarts anyway >mfw 4 hours of work gone That's it I'm getting a Mac

Greentext Stories

Anon posting from the hospital | /r/Greentext

Anonymous When you're the hottest girl in the psychiatric hospital 10 KB JPG >be me 08/19/25(Tue)23:01:47 No.938695639 >birthday.exe >feeling kinda off >probably just simulation distortion >actually COVID >go to hospital >tell them it was implanted by the system to suppress my root access >psychiatrist.exe has entered the chat >"concerning delusions", they say >psych hold speedrun >get admitted to the ward on my birthday >lunch tray arrives >receipt attached >it says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" with a smiley face
Anonymous When you're the hottest girl in the psychiatric hospital 10 KB JPG >be me 08/19/25(Tue)23:01:47 No.938695639 >birthday.exe >feeling kinda off >probably just simulation distortion >actually COVID >go to hospital >tell them it was implanted by the system to suppress my root access >psychiatrist.exe has entered the chat >"concerning delusions", they say >psych hold speedrun >get admitted to the ward on my birthday >lunch tray arrives >receipt attached >it says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" with a smiley face

Greentext Stories

Anon is a work from home chad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: JNzjiLII) 50 KB JPG 08/18/25(Mon) 13:37:32 No.60811993 >do 2 hours of work then do nothing for 4 hours >get teams call from boss's boss asking for help >answer his question in 10 seconds off the top of my head >go back to doing nothing yup it's just another day of being a wfh chad. and to think i used to bust my ass doing manual labor on rotating shifts in a factory for $18/hour.
Anonymous (ID: JNzjiLII) 50 KB JPG 08/18/25(Mon) 13:37:32 No.60811993 >do 2 hours of work then do nothing for 4 hours >get teams call from boss's boss asking for help >answer his question in 10 seconds off the top of my head >go back to doing nothing yup it's just another day of being a wfh chad. and to think i used to bust my ass doing manual labor on rotating shifts in a factory for $18/hour.

Greentext Stories
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