He's Not Your Man

He's Not Your Man

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Updated Oct 16, 2019 at 03:16AM EDT by Y F.

Added Nov 26, 2018 at 02:08PM EST by Adam.

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He's Not Your Man is a bait-and-swich snowclone in which a post begins by suggesting that if "Ladies, if your man" does certain things, he's not "your man." However, over the course of the listed things, it's clear the poster is talking about someone highly specific, leading to the punchline, "He's not your man. He's X."


On September 22nd, 2018, Twitter user @kyleplantemoji posted the first popular variation of the joke, with the punchline leading to former United States President Rutherford B. Hayes. The tweet gained over 20,000 retweets and 139,000 likes (shown below).

Kyle @KylePlantEmoji Follow Ladies, if he: only responds after you double text doesn't care about your snap strealk refuses to shave is a staunch abolitionist - returns to Ohio after serving only one term He's not your man. He's 19th president Rutherford B Hayes 2:39 PM -22 Nov 2018


Over the following several days, Twitter users recreated the joke with numerous different punchline. Other popular examples include a tweet by @indyfromspace which used Ramses II and gained over 270 retweets and 1,300 likes (shown below, left). Another by @rachel gained over 6,200 retweets and 30,000 likes (shown below, right).

Sarah Parcak Ф @indyfromspace Follow Ladies, if he: -only responds if u text in emojis -doesn't care about your single wife policy -refuses to wear anything but fine linens -is a staunch polytheist -claims victory at Kadesh when it was a tie He's not your man. He's Egypt's greatest king from Dyn 19, Ramesses lI 10:03 PM - 22 Nov 2018 @ #1Rachel ladies, if he: Follow @rachel never texts you back always interjects with unsolicited advice reads your personal documents constantly tries to help you format paragraphs is a sentient paper clip he's not your man. he's clippy the microsoft word office assistant 12:39 AM-24 Nov 2018

Several brands on Twitter also contributed variations to the meme, including The Daily Wire (shown below, left) and the Adam Smith Institute (shown below, right). The meme was covered by Daily Dot,[1] Independent,[2] and more.

Adam Smith Institute @ASI Follow Ladies, if he: ignores text messages spends all of his time at work insists he can see phantom limbs has encyclopaedic knowledge of ancient physics, logic and astronomy He's not your man. He's the father of modern economics, Adam Smith 7:21 AM-24 Nov 2018 DAILYhe Daily Wire WIRE @realDailyWire Follow Ladies, if he: ignores text messages doesn't like your tweets is always cold - rarely opens up to you never leaves the house makes weird humming sounds at night He's not your man. He's a refrigerator. 1:41 PM-24 Nov 2018

Various Examples

POSITIVE BRUINS FAN SRAEL 2ejeffsrael25 Ladies, if he: - never responds to your texts Follow - doesn't watch your Insta stories has an unclear backstory is mean to children works as an agent of chao:s - is a furry orange monstrosity He's not your man. He's Gritty 2:59 PM- 24 Nov 2018 Liz Belsky @lizbelsky Follow Ladies, if he: leaves you on read doesn't watch your Insta stories weighs up to 1,000 pounds at his fighting weight - spends all summer eating thousands of salmon from the Brooks River He's not your man. He's 480 Otis, three-time Fat Bear Week champ Perfect Little Soup Bran @ltsTheBrandi Follow Ladies, if he: Doesn't have a jolb no evolutionary purpose cute tho Seems drunk appropriated another culture & took their name costs 500k plus room and board Has poop that smells like lemons He is not your man, he is a giant panda on loan 11:26 PM-23 Noy 2018 sharks & poems @chessienc Follow Ladies, if he: ignores text messages doesn't like your tweets can't see directly in front of himself -hunts stingrays migrates between the Bahamas and the Carolinas He's not your man. He's a Great Hammerhead Shark. 3:15 AM-24 Nov 2018 from California, USA Cat Damon Followv @CornOnTheGoblin Ladies, if he: only wants to hang out when he's drunk never brings you around his friends fingers on his head - no legs or feet - always trying to sell you pasta He's not your man. He's the hamburger helper glove 11:52 AM - 24 Nov 2018 alison @alisonguzzetti Follow ladies, if he... threatens you with constant messages always wondering where you are blames you for not making him happy enough judges the way you speak makes your undying love into a game for him He's not your man, he's Duo, the duolingo owl 12:07 PM -24 Nov 2018

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Ladies, if he:

- Ignores your texts
- Never responds to your calls
- Obsesses over social media
- Won't shut up about the latest controversies and current events
- Constantly wears the same suit every day
- Pastes advice animals all over your walls
- Frontpages his own posts
- Memes on you every night

That's not your man. That's Don.


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