I Hate My Job
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I Hate My Job refers to a series of bait-and-switch copypasta stories that typically open with an individual ranting about how miserable his or her life is but progressively reveal themselves to be an iconic fictional character or the premise of a popular fiction. The name is derived from the title of its earliest known instance, a copypasta story in which the narrator is revealed to be the main character from the animated television series Scooby Doo.
On August 4th, 2009, Redditor prehack submitted a bait-and-switch confessional from the perspective of the titular character in the cartoon television series Scooby Doo to the /r/funny subreddit. Prior to being archived, the post gained over 16,000 up votes and 820 comments.
My job is so fucking unbelievable.
I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
On August 14th, 2009, the Scooby Doo copypasta was posted on the imageboard 4chan. On October 19th, Gaia Online Forums member OneWingedEagle posted a copypasta story from the perspective of a Pokemon trainer.
So you think you had a hard childhood? Well ******** you, its got nothing on mine.
My mom practically kicked my a** out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was the f*****t p***k next store who was always beating the s**t out of me and telling me I wasnât worth s**t. Its not even like I had a choice, the town ******** had something like 9 people living in it, I s**t you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place trying to get along with people who didnât even want me.
You think thatâs the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nymph. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.
But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each otherâs sentences? Yeah they were ******** creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the ******** up.
Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time.
The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a Pokemon master.
On August 1st, 2010, Redditor 420247 submitted a story told from the perspective of the animated television character Spongebob Squarepants to the /r/funny subreddit, where it gathered more than 7,100 up votes and 950 comments prior to being archived.
Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all fucking worse is that I live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.
On April 28th, 2012, Tumblr user calamity_wolf posted the same Scooby Doo story. On November 19th, a screenshot of the copypasta was submitted to 9gag, where it garnered upwards of 37,500 points in the first three years. On January 15th, 2013, the "Welcome to the Internet" Facebook page highlighted the same screenshot, which accumulated over 3,500 likes and 110 comments in the next year. On January 9th, 2014, a green text story was submitted to 4chan from the perspective of the character Gaston in the 1991 animated film Beauty and the Beast. The same day, a screenshot of the green text story was posted to the /r/4chan subreddit (shown below), where it gained more than 11,500 up votes and 220 comments within two weeks.
@MrLawson's Twitter Story
On August 23rd, 2014, Twitter user @MrLawson posted a series of tweets detailing a story about a love interest from his youth, only to reveal that he was retelling the story of Harry Potter at the end (shown below). On August 26th, BuzzFeed highlighted the tweets in a post titled "This Random Twitter Story Ends With A Harry Potter Surprise."
 Reddit – I hate my job
 9gag – I hate my job
 Tumblr – I hate my job
 Gaia Online – You think your childhood was bad?
 Facebook – I hate my job
 Reddit – Fuck my life
 Reddit – OP is a faggot
 BuzzFeed – This Random Twitter Story Ends With A Harry Potter Surprise
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Jan 18, 2014 at 10:06PM EST
Jan 18, 2014 at 10:52PM EST
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