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I found a cure

| Wasteland warrior NV48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)18:11 No.5942529 The next bad player story was also a bad dm story, but mostly do to his permissive attitude. I was told it was a d20 modern game and that was it. What he didn't tell me was that it was chock full of the supernatural s---, and all the pcs were vampires. I roll up a gun runner and the dm has me roll on a giant table to see what was in my arsenal. I end up sitting on a of combloc weaponry and some cocaine. By some insane luck I had also gotten my hands on an old soviet satchel nuke boat, a few warehouses full I went to meet the party, as their old arms dealer got pinched by the ATF. They told me to bring the best of my stock. They were promising big money (years of playing GTA had conditioned them to believe a $12 AK is worth over $10000) so I brought along the nuke, just in case □ GreyThrkreen 09/20/09(Sun)18:12 No.5942545團困 sx Satchel nuke? OH jesus christ Wasteland Warrior lW48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)18:23 No.5942653 So l show up, at midnight with a u haul full of guns and some explosives. I was showing them the different guns I had and their bill ended up totaling just shy of $500,000. The leader of the group was a chick who had turned all the other pcs and kept them around as mooks/boytoys. She told me they would pay me in another way, and she motioned for them to grab me while bearing her fangs. Ive always been afraid of vampires, and this s--- was creeping me out. I backpedaled and tried to get them not to bite me. Eventually I managed to get them to accept the first load of guns in exchange for not draining me. I then made sure that any meeting I had with the vamps happened while I had a large gun and access to some UV flash grenades I whipped up for the occaision. Each time we dealt with each other the chick kept telling me sooner or later that I would be hers. Vamps creep me out, so I resisted to the last. It was getting wierd though, the party spent less and less time fighting rival covens of vampires and more time trying to catch me without a big gun □ wasteland warrior M/48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)18:35 No. 5942792 The rest of the party met outside of game and plotted to catch me off guard. They told me that they had found someone who wanted to buy the satchel nuke, and they would arrange a meeting in a nightclub the chick owned. They also bought my character a very nice nickel plated 1911 with pearl grips, as a way to show they had no hard feelings. It was crafted with a safety that could be engaged remotely. I couldn't find anything wrong with the gun and when I tested it out I realized it was a master crafted weapon. Just to be on the safe side I loaded it with silver rounds just to be on side. I show up at the club dragging the e with me be on the Wasteland Warrior !W48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)18:53 No.5942963團困 I decided as a show of good faith, to show up dressed formally instead of in tactical gear like our normal meetings. They showed up dressed accordingly and were even polite and cordial. The guys carried in my 50kg portable nuke and the gal told the doorman to let me carry my piece inside. They even told me that t and enjoyed a bottle of aged brandy. The dm kept telling me to make perception checks, which I kept failing an them and told them I would be on my merry way, then with a s--- eating grin the chick pulled the trigger. Nothing, they activated the remote safety and screwed me over. I lunged for the bomb but one of them caught me and I was dragged to the center of the dance floor which had been cleared out. Turns out the perception checks were too notice that everyone at the club was either a vampire, or bearing a tattoo that marked them as property. The chick gives a speech about how the nuke will give them leverage should the authorities prove uncorrectable, and soon the city would be theirs Then she jumped on me, fed on me and forced me to drink some of her blood. Then she r---- me, in full view of the assembled vampires to mark me as hers could negotiate the price of the on my terms, while l sat at our table y they come back, with $20,0 Twice what I wanted for the nuke. I thanked d me I would have to wait till after the ceremony. I immediately pulled my brand new gun out of my jacket and but I wanted vengeanc ow ext wee d played along like I wa ppy part of the flock ave an d Warrior M/48S2eY4n 09/20/09(Sun)19:21 No. 5943 185 I couldn't just kill the party, I had to royally f--- them up to get any measure of revenge. I started attacking law enforcement personnel and key members of the community. I was being the guy at a vampire the masquerade game who apartment complex. Party wa Il vampires" while firing a shotgun into the air. No subtlety or stealth at all. The party wan Ith kill a hunter, I would blow up hi rt biting people left and right and letting them live and go running off to the authorities. I was even sending videotaped evidence of our crimes to TV city goes on a manhunt for a bunch of drugged out crazies who are biting their victems. A group of paranormal investigator tations. Sooner or later th decides thousand rounds of ammunition and some grenades. I walk right into the front of th vampi y think I'm perfect for the job, as Ive abandoned subtlety. I grab a man portable minigun, several ing guy comes out and says and show o make large messy example of them. I volunteer to go to town on them and man who's in cha A little nervous look im that nder, and would be perfectly willi ist in the operations. I let them take blood t s in charge, and he's willing to die them how to make the UV grenades. The other players are flipping s---, and declare war on the city. They had some quick victories, but the inability to move in the daytime and public acknowledgment of them screwed them, and soon the national guard was patrolling with rifles with UV lamp tac lights and flamethrowers Wasteland Warrior IW48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)19:21 No.5943194 As a final act of desperation they hole up in an old mansion and threaten to detonate the nuke if the city doesnt submit to their demands. They demand me, a complete cessation of hostilities and $20,000,000,000, so they can buy out some African s------- and start their empire somewhere howed up with a brie e and walked right o the chick. Predictably she was sitting right She rted taunting me about how they were to kill me, they were going to keep me as their slave. She told me to open the brief case, and d and pulled out a UV ext to the grenade. She laughed and said I didn't have the guts to kill myself. I chuckled and said "they found a cure" and I pulled the pin I was a hero and the head of the paranormal CIA, they were piles of ash. I think I won
| Wasteland warrior NV48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)18:11 No.5942529 The next bad player story was also a bad dm story, but mostly do to his permissive attitude. I was told it was a d20 modern game and that was it. What he didn't tell me was that it was chock full of the supernatural s---, and all the pcs were vampires. I roll up a gun runner and the dm has me roll on a giant table to see what was in my arsenal. I end up sitting on a of combloc weaponry and some cocaine. By some insane luck I had also gotten my hands on an old soviet satchel nuke boat, a few warehouses full I went to meet the party, as their old arms dealer got pinched by the ATF. They told me to bring the best of my stock. They were promising big money (years of playing GTA had conditioned them to believe a $12 AK is worth over $10000) so I brought along the nuke, just in case □ GreyThrkreen 09/20/09(Sun)18:12 No.5942545團困 sx Satchel nuke? OH jesus christ Wasteland Warrior lW48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)18:23 No.5942653 So l show up, at midnight with a u haul full of guns and some explosives. I was showing them the different guns I had and their bill ended up totaling just shy of $500,000. The leader of the group was a chick who had turned all the other pcs and kept them around as mooks/boytoys. She told me they would pay me in another way, and she motioned for them to grab me while bearing her fangs. Ive always been afraid of vampires, and this s--- was creeping me out. I backpedaled and tried to get them not to bite me. Eventually I managed to get them to accept the first load of guns in exchange for not draining me. I then made sure that any meeting I had with the vamps happened while I had a large gun and access to some UV flash grenades I whipped up for the occaision. Each time we dealt with each other the chick kept telling me sooner or later that I would be hers. Vamps creep me out, so I resisted to the last. It was getting wierd though, the party spent less and less time fighting rival covens of vampires and more time trying to catch me without a big gun □ wasteland warrior M/48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)18:35 No. 5942792 The rest of the party met outside of game and plotted to catch me off guard. They told me that they had found someone who wanted to buy the satchel nuke, and they would arrange a meeting in a nightclub the chick owned. They also bought my character a very nice nickel plated 1911 with pearl grips, as a way to show they had no hard feelings. It was crafted with a safety that could be engaged remotely. I couldn't find anything wrong with the gun and when I tested it out I realized it was a master crafted weapon. Just to be on the safe side I loaded it with silver rounds just to be on side. I show up at the club dragging the e with me be on the Wasteland Warrior !W48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)18:53 No.5942963團困 I decided as a show of good faith, to show up dressed formally instead of in tactical gear like our normal meetings. They showed up dressed accordingly and were even polite and cordial. The guys carried in my 50kg portable nuke and the gal told the doorman to let me carry my piece inside. They even told me that t and enjoyed a bottle of aged brandy. The dm kept telling me to make perception checks, which I kept failing an them and told them I would be on my merry way, then with a s--- eating grin the chick pulled the trigger. Nothing, they activated the remote safety and screwed me over. I lunged for the bomb but one of them caught me and I was dragged to the center of the dance floor which had been cleared out. Turns out the perception checks were too notice that everyone at the club was either a vampire, or bearing a tattoo that marked them as property. The chick gives a speech about how the nuke will give them leverage should the authorities prove uncorrectable, and soon the city would be theirs Then she jumped on me, fed on me and forced me to drink some of her blood. Then she r---- me, in full view of the assembled vampires to mark me as hers could negotiate the price of the on my terms, while l sat at our table y they come back, with $20,0 Twice what I wanted for the nuke. I thanked d me I would have to wait till after the ceremony. I immediately pulled my brand new gun out of my jacket and but I wanted vengeanc ow ext wee d played along like I wa ppy part of the flock ave an d Warrior M/48S2eY4n 09/20/09(Sun)19:21 No. 5943 185 I couldn't just kill the party, I had to royally f--- them up to get any measure of revenge. I started attacking law enforcement personnel and key members of the community. I was being the guy at a vampire the masquerade game who apartment complex. Party wa Il vampires" while firing a shotgun into the air. No subtlety or stealth at all. The party wan Ith kill a hunter, I would blow up hi rt biting people left and right and letting them live and go running off to the authorities. I was even sending videotaped evidence of our crimes to TV city goes on a manhunt for a bunch of drugged out crazies who are biting their victems. A group of paranormal investigator tations. Sooner or later th decides thousand rounds of ammunition and some grenades. I walk right into the front of th vampi y think I'm perfect for the job, as Ive abandoned subtlety. I grab a man portable minigun, several ing guy comes out and says and show o make large messy example of them. I volunteer to go to town on them and man who's in cha A little nervous look im that nder, and would be perfectly willi ist in the operations. I let them take blood t s in charge, and he's willing to die them how to make the UV grenades. The other players are flipping s---, and declare war on the city. They had some quick victories, but the inability to move in the daytime and public acknowledgment of them screwed them, and soon the national guard was patrolling with rifles with UV lamp tac lights and flamethrowers Wasteland Warrior IW48S2eY4nU 09/20/09(Sun)19:21 No.5943194 As a final act of desperation they hole up in an old mansion and threaten to detonate the nuke if the city doesnt submit to their demands. They demand me, a complete cessation of hostilities and $20,000,000,000, so they can buy out some African s------- and start their empire somewhere howed up with a brie e and walked right o the chick. Predictably she was sitting right She rted taunting me about how they were to kill me, they were going to keep me as their slave. She told me to open the brief case, and d and pulled out a UV ext to the grenade. She laughed and said I didn't have the guts to kill myself. I chuckled and said "they found a cure" and I pulled the pin I was a hero and the head of the paranormal CIA, they were piles of ash. I think I won

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Saint cuthbert

□ Anonymous 06/23/10(Wed)21:00 No.10699700 Hide團困 File1277341219 jpg-(19 KB, 210x330, keldorn.jpg) Ive had a brow-beating atheist hate on my cleric before, calling him weak for worshipping a god THAT didnt last long. I cast an extended Command on him, and proceeded to sit down with him, explaining how St. Cuthbert laid out the law in the land, and how his clerics are in charge of keeping the peace of the land. How we are the ones who police the wilder lands and roads from brigands and highwaymen. How we break down criminal organizations that would exploit slavery and harmful narcotics I explained to him, that St. Cuthbert did not care if he did not acknowledge him as his spiritual liege. As long as he kept himself within the law. And the player of this human fighter hated every minute of it. Next session, he attempted to kill me, in a duel, when my spell slots were low. I stil managed to kill him, this time with a Wrack spell that I had intended to use that day, but could not. I used Wrack to make him helpless while I crushed his skull with a coup de grace. My last words were "Judge Balthazar finds you wanting, and by the power invested upon my by St. Cuthbert, I find you guilty upon one count of treachery of a comrade. This was the last thing h saw: A full-plate armored, bald man. Short, with green eyes. A bit older. A mace raised in two hands, above his head The party did not interfere. We took his stuff, and sold it off, to help our cause. I gave my share to the church of St. Cuthbert in my hometown, which was used to fund a better training complex for the town guard. They put a plaque on the wall, dedicating this building to him
□ Anonymous 06/23/10(Wed)21:00 No.10699700 Hide團困 File1277341219 jpg-(19 KB, 210x330, keldorn.jpg) Ive had a brow-beating atheist hate on my cleric before, calling him weak for worshipping a god THAT didnt last long. I cast an extended Command on him, and proceeded to sit down with him, explaining how St. Cuthbert laid out the law in the land, and how his clerics are in charge of keeping the peace of the land. How we are the ones who police the wilder lands and roads from brigands and highwaymen. How we break down criminal organizations that would exploit slavery and harmful narcotics I explained to him, that St. Cuthbert did not care if he did not acknowledge him as his spiritual liege. As long as he kept himself within the law. And the player of this human fighter hated every minute of it. Next session, he attempted to kill me, in a duel, when my spell slots were low. I stil managed to kill him, this time with a Wrack spell that I had intended to use that day, but could not. I used Wrack to make him helpless while I crushed his skull with a coup de grace. My last words were "Judge Balthazar finds you wanting, and by the power invested upon my by St. Cuthbert, I find you guilty upon one count of treachery of a comrade. This was the last thing h saw: A full-plate armored, bald man. Short, with green eyes. A bit older. A mace raised in two hands, above his head The party did not interfere. We took his stuff, and sold it off, to help our cause. I gave my share to the church of St. Cuthbert in my hometown, which was used to fund a better training complex for the town guard. They put a plaque on the wall, dedicating this building to him

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+10 roleplay

+CLACK, run fasrer when i'm horn nAyow do when youre Il Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:57 No.17954842 "Brett, what f------ s--- is this?" It was Brett's DM. "Your bard is named Julius, and he plays the maracas? C'mon. And look at those stats! They're either godly or s-----, I can't tell which." Brett stared at his DM. "So?" he asked. "If you'll consult my sourcebook -" he rifled through the pages. "Here," he announced, and pointed. "Maracas are a perfectly valid bard instrument." "Not in my setting! Did you even read the campaign materials?" Brett shifted in his chair. The other players reached for the Cheetos "Well, NO, but I skimmed." was his final reply The DM sighed, and passed a hand through his hair. "Fine. Have your f------ Julius. Does he have any more third-party gimmicks I need to know about?" Brett shifted, again. "Yeah. Yeah, Julius does." The DM grimaced. "And what," he hissed, "would those be?" "He, um... He has sex with things." The DM nearly fell out of his chair. "What?" he spluttered. "WHAT? What the f---? WHY?" Brett shifted some more. "A plus ten," he admitted d den julius had secks wit dem +10 roleply
+CLACK, run fasrer when i'm horn nAyow do when youre Il Anonymous 02/14/12(Tue)23:57 No.17954842 "Brett, what f------ s--- is this?" It was Brett's DM. "Your bard is named Julius, and he plays the maracas? C'mon. And look at those stats! They're either godly or s-----, I can't tell which." Brett stared at his DM. "So?" he asked. "If you'll consult my sourcebook -" he rifled through the pages. "Here," he announced, and pointed. "Maracas are a perfectly valid bard instrument." "Not in my setting! Did you even read the campaign materials?" Brett shifted in his chair. The other players reached for the Cheetos "Well, NO, but I skimmed." was his final reply The DM sighed, and passed a hand through his hair. "Fine. Have your f------ Julius. Does he have any more third-party gimmicks I need to know about?" Brett shifted, again. "Yeah. Yeah, Julius does." The DM grimaced. "And what," he hissed, "would those be?" "He, um... He has sex with things." The DM nearly fell out of his chair. "What?" he spluttered. "WHAT? What the f---? WHY?" Brett shifted some more. "A plus ten," he admitted d den julius had secks wit dem +10 roleply

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Good night lu

>> Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)05:57 No.81 15062 We... I don't know if she was a DMPC, or just an NPC that the DM really liked, but we had this elf ranger in the party who was the most unbelievable bro imaginable. She picked up bitches for us she heralded our coming from horseback whenever we got to a new town, she got us food whenever we entered town, and she kept track of every coin we had that wasnt a gold or platinum piece She also managed all of our non-essential equipment so that we never had to deal with weight issues, by buying a team of f------ mules and managing the wagons. She never took a cut of the loot, she never took any magical equipment except the bows and short-swords that we didn't want (and even then we'd often sell them instead of giving them to her, she'd be 2-3 enhancement bonuses behind us) and she never, NEVER even once asked us to pay for anything for her. She paid her own fare on the ferries, she bought or hunted her own food, and she paid for her own room or just didn't sleep Hell, she was so reliable we started setting our clocks by her. We once sent her out, ALONE, to get through a blockade of orcs and deliver a message to a city 30 miles away, when the entire space in-between was full of wargs. She came back the next morning with the cavalry, and we hadn't even considered that she might not. She was nothing if not to be counted on >> □ Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)06:00 No.81 15088 >8115062 She was so much of a f------ bro that the thought of "why* she was such a bro never occurred to anyone until like the last three sessions when she actually saved the Sorcerer's life by leaping in front of a Fiendish Advanced Dire-Bullette (I am not f------ joking, the DM really applied all three of these templates to that creature.) and died in his arms asking if he was hurt before the cleric could get there. We never knew why she was so loyal... Why she had saved him. We Spoke with Dead to ask her why, to ask her ruined corpse, in armor someone 10 levels lower than her wouldve turned down in a crisis, holding a weapon none of us would have even picked up if we found it, why she had sacrificed herself for us The body answered, as we all sat there, "because you were the only friends I ever had." Ive never felt like such s--- in my entire life >> Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)06:03 No.81 15127 File1266318185 KB, 603x380, big boss salute.jpg) >8115088 So here's to you Lu, you beautiful bitch. The truest Bro to ever string a bow >> Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)06:09 No.81 15184 >8115062 23 and you're on a mission to retrieve her soul from hell right? you f------ better be Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)06:14 No.8115222 >8115184 Setting rules. Death is death, there's no way out. Speak with Dead was just talking to the body, we couldn't even thank her, because her soul was already gone. Our entire campaign was built up around destroying the spiritual black-hole that was preventing souls from going to the real afterlife, and allowing people to be resurrected We killed the very primal concept of entropy with her name on our lips, and we all went down with it. No afterlives, no happy endings. But we went knowing that maybe, just maybe, she would be free now, and she would know that we appreciat ed her for what she did She would know because we carved it onto God's forehead in bold letters
>> Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)05:57 No.81 15062 We... I don't know if she was a DMPC, or just an NPC that the DM really liked, but we had this elf ranger in the party who was the most unbelievable bro imaginable. She picked up bitches for us she heralded our coming from horseback whenever we got to a new town, she got us food whenever we entered town, and she kept track of every coin we had that wasnt a gold or platinum piece She also managed all of our non-essential equipment so that we never had to deal with weight issues, by buying a team of f------ mules and managing the wagons. She never took a cut of the loot, she never took any magical equipment except the bows and short-swords that we didn't want (and even then we'd often sell them instead of giving them to her, she'd be 2-3 enhancement bonuses behind us) and she never, NEVER even once asked us to pay for anything for her. She paid her own fare on the ferries, she bought or hunted her own food, and she paid for her own room or just didn't sleep Hell, she was so reliable we started setting our clocks by her. We once sent her out, ALONE, to get through a blockade of orcs and deliver a message to a city 30 miles away, when the entire space in-between was full of wargs. She came back the next morning with the cavalry, and we hadn't even considered that she might not. She was nothing if not to be counted on >> □ Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)06:00 No.81 15088 >8115062 She was so much of a f------ bro that the thought of "why* she was such a bro never occurred to anyone until like the last three sessions when she actually saved the Sorcerer's life by leaping in front of a Fiendish Advanced Dire-Bullette (I am not f------ joking, the DM really applied all three of these templates to that creature.) and died in his arms asking if he was hurt before the cleric could get there. We never knew why she was so loyal... Why she had saved him. We Spoke with Dead to ask her why, to ask her ruined corpse, in armor someone 10 levels lower than her wouldve turned down in a crisis, holding a weapon none of us would have even picked up if we found it, why she had sacrificed herself for us The body answered, as we all sat there, "because you were the only friends I ever had." Ive never felt like such s--- in my entire life >> Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)06:03 No.81 15127 File1266318185 KB, 603x380, big boss salute.jpg) >8115088 So here's to you Lu, you beautiful bitch. The truest Bro to ever string a bow >> Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)06:09 No.81 15184 >8115062 23 and you're on a mission to retrieve her soul from hell right? you f------ better be Anonymous 02/16/10(Tue)06:14 No.8115222 >8115184 Setting rules. Death is death, there's no way out. Speak with Dead was just talking to the body, we couldn't even thank her, because her soul was already gone. Our entire campaign was built up around destroying the spiritual black-hole that was preventing souls from going to the real afterlife, and allowing people to be resurrected We killed the very primal concept of entropy with her name on our lips, and we all went down with it. No afterlives, no happy endings. But we went knowing that maybe, just maybe, she would be free now, and she would know that we appreciat ed her for what she did She would know because we carved it onto God's forehead in bold letters

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8chan greentext dnd 4chan /tg/ traditional games

short, who the hell are you calling short

■ Anonymous 06/07/12(Thu)16:03 No.19398249 ODIN File: 1339099430135.png-(407 KB, 576x432, Lina.png) human warrior with Minsc-level smarts >strongest guy around, but 56" and conscious about it >about to be lured into daemonic pact (and betray his party) fails will save, gives in. >promised to become rich, beautiful, etc, etc... >daemon end his speach with "Im gonna make you biggest man in the world" Say what again? >"T'm gonna make you biggest man in the world." Do you f------ mean I'm small now? flips his s---, charges >mfw
■ Anonymous 06/07/12(Thu)16:03 No.19398249 ODIN File: 1339099430135.png-(407 KB, 576x432, Lina.png) human warrior with Minsc-level smarts >strongest guy around, but 56" and conscious about it >about to be lured into daemonic pact (and betray his party) fails will save, gives in. >promised to become rich, beautiful, etc, etc... >daemon end his speach with "Im gonna make you biggest man in the world" Say what again? >"T'm gonna make you biggest man in the world." Do you f------ mean I'm small now? flips his s---, charges >mfw

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4chan greentext traditional games slayers the slayers lina inverse

darleks aren't the only ones scared of stairs

□ Anonymous 03/27/11(Sun)23:19 No.14389158 Ah, yes. These sorts of stories. It's times like these that I recall an old friend of mine, Ake. His mom was Swedish, but his dad was American, and she somehow managed to convince her husband to name him in a way that would forever make him rage at standardized test forms and endure the ire of his classmates through middle school. I first met him in college, when he joined a small cyberpunk LARP. The players were supposed to try and dress the part, as most of the folks in the group were goths (sadly, I was at the time, but eventually learned that dressing in scary black trenchcoats and smoking constantly just made me look like a whiny, misanthropic teenager) and already possessed the sorts of clothing you'd see in that sort of game. Simple sort of deal; it was a bit of a convention game, and the GM was obviously trying to get into one of the group member's pants and knew she'd wear her skimpy clubbing outfit. Ake shows up to the first session dressed as a Victorian gentleman. Dark suit, embroidered vest, and a glorious handlebar mustache. The GM, initially confused as s---, asks him what the f--- he's doing and how this fits in. The following is the transcribed text of his exact character description Anonymous 03/27/11(Sun)23:19 No 14389163 P> "Now listen here, you ruffians. Simply because you choose the way of cyber-modification does not mean that you must go advertising it like some sort of overly-fluffed peacock with its tail-feathers a ruffle. Upon looking at me, would you expect a man with a cybered arm, enhanced reflexes, and a cocktail of combat-enhancing drugs coursing through my system? Nay, I say to thee! I bring class to this circle of miscreants, and I say without a shadow of a doubt that your crude sense of fashion will bar you from doors that will open at the sight of my countenance Finally, as the GM is sitting there shocked, he drops the final bomb to this Oh yes; seeing as you instructed us to bring the accouterments of our profession, Ive brought a quantity of cocaine and my hunting rifile." Suffice to say, it was a great LARP
□ Anonymous 03/27/11(Sun)23:19 No.14389158 Ah, yes. These sorts of stories. It's times like these that I recall an old friend of mine, Ake. His mom was Swedish, but his dad was American, and she somehow managed to convince her husband to name him in a way that would forever make him rage at standardized test forms and endure the ire of his classmates through middle school. I first met him in college, when he joined a small cyberpunk LARP. The players were supposed to try and dress the part, as most of the folks in the group were goths (sadly, I was at the time, but eventually learned that dressing in scary black trenchcoats and smoking constantly just made me look like a whiny, misanthropic teenager) and already possessed the sorts of clothing you'd see in that sort of game. Simple sort of deal; it was a bit of a convention game, and the GM was obviously trying to get into one of the group member's pants and knew she'd wear her skimpy clubbing outfit. Ake shows up to the first session dressed as a Victorian gentleman. Dark suit, embroidered vest, and a glorious handlebar mustache. The GM, initially confused as s---, asks him what the f--- he's doing and how this fits in. The following is the transcribed text of his exact character description Anonymous 03/27/11(Sun)23:19 No 14389163 P> "Now listen here, you ruffians. Simply because you choose the way of cyber-modification does not mean that you must go advertising it like some sort of overly-fluffed peacock with its tail-feathers a ruffle. Upon looking at me, would you expect a man with a cybered arm, enhanced reflexes, and a cocktail of combat-enhancing drugs coursing through my system? Nay, I say to thee! I bring class to this circle of miscreants, and I say without a shadow of a doubt that your crude sense of fashion will bar you from doors that will open at the sight of my countenance Finally, as the GM is sitting there shocked, he drops the final bomb to this Oh yes; seeing as you instructed us to bring the accouterments of our profession, Ive brought a quantity of cocaine and my hunting rifile." Suffice to say, it was a great LARP

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Weclome to the Space SLAM

/XWing Writefag 04/20/14(Sun) 18:35:12 No.3 1608846トー316089532231608989 31608573 >SLAM drive A-wing Roll on the Perils of the Slam table: 1-50: SLAM drive operates as normal. Gottagofast. 51-60: Your SLAM drive overloads, pushing you even further. The speed and and boost distance bonus are doubled. Calculate other SLAM drive effects as necessary 61-70: You travel so quickly that you achieve a form of diet hyperspace. You end up in the nearest adjacent star system. Calculate other SLAM drive effects as necessary. 71-80: Where we're going, we don't need eyes. Congratulations, you're stuck in hyperspace as your SLAM drive pushes you to speeds hitherto unattainable by the hands of mortal men. Weep, ye mortals, for none in this galaxy shall experience such blistering speed ever again. 81-90: Your SLAM drive has overcharged. You are no longer in your home galaxy-instead, you have ended up in Companion Aurek or Companion Besh, depending on your starfighters orientation at the time. Calculate other SLAM drive effects as normal. 91-100: Your speed has transcended the laws of physics. As you open the throttle, lightning dances upon your knuckles. G-forces that would pulp a normal man pull at you, even through your inertial compensators, and your vision changes from that of the battlefield to that of an ethereal racing circuit, surrounded by golden figures cheering you on in a divine fanfare. As you reach your physical limits, you feel a sense of lightess at last as your soul ascends the fragile meat shell in which you were born. You have become one with the Speed Force, and you have entered Speed Valhalla. Welcome home.
/XWing Writefag 04/20/14(Sun) 18:35:12 No.3 1608846トー316089532231608989 31608573 >SLAM drive A-wing Roll on the Perils of the Slam table: 1-50: SLAM drive operates as normal. Gottagofast. 51-60: Your SLAM drive overloads, pushing you even further. The speed and and boost distance bonus are doubled. Calculate other SLAM drive effects as necessary 61-70: You travel so quickly that you achieve a form of diet hyperspace. You end up in the nearest adjacent star system. Calculate other SLAM drive effects as necessary. 71-80: Where we're going, we don't need eyes. Congratulations, you're stuck in hyperspace as your SLAM drive pushes you to speeds hitherto unattainable by the hands of mortal men. Weep, ye mortals, for none in this galaxy shall experience such blistering speed ever again. 81-90: Your SLAM drive has overcharged. You are no longer in your home galaxy-instead, you have ended up in Companion Aurek or Companion Besh, depending on your starfighters orientation at the time. Calculate other SLAM drive effects as normal. 91-100: Your speed has transcended the laws of physics. As you open the throttle, lightning dances upon your knuckles. G-forces that would pulp a normal man pull at you, even through your inertial compensators, and your vision changes from that of the battlefield to that of an ethereal racing circuit, surrounded by golden figures cheering you on in a divine fanfare. As you reach your physical limits, you feel a sense of lightess at last as your soul ascends the fragile meat shell in which you were born. You have become one with the Speed Force, and you have entered Speed Valhalla. Welcome home.

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paladain: the redemption

, ears and sernwon deep vithin w she manages the wow youcan sew ne Please.疥y want you snopthisT Far a menent yau eel every instat off pain and risay and sunge and thast and despair h dis iswable lele child has experened her 7 shat years hanted by the uwa, 더his te thenaghly As you make eys contactyes uda y lee m age you'ne having and ays 22122 urage doeun ta thry Thry bilion people are 2211902 Yau bink Less than a secand has passed Your rurager doeun't evee hon going Sevee billion sods al.ndenstand鸸騝rai" supposed to da ateus z.nost of these people alseady deat th씌 msey has altady happened Mhat are Mest ot the ame, youhe a boody mess You cut yoursel neglay 2139008 The sedt change happess at meine. For a beel oent yee a tash you expecence the sueing and tomeet of an entse batery Cows Pigs The secasianul at Scen your ceescuses expands beyand ery being that ded lke corgassion and psice and enightesmest ssld have sere sat of Woe the Techescracy, think they can 2212231 胔to soot, that tying 30 make ronet@fchers happy i..wny mesan by the hope that &jast beps spiing keg eegh.tins Original Story ends here, But Several posts later: 2212 And sometw9.se" you breaks an apety.fut coated you rukang pina seerse 6aforng of oners, but rever d·anynag abe甙襛 creaks out three, tiny woeds And it sang of sthe things a Thing that ave no wards, in this or any langag Thingn that wl drve her to the saTE CaE an yau for The Masic only souches thase knowsbald in them the strength to andure, in this fawed wald thoas whe vll find wthe Thinga that only The Music can speak of, to thoas whe vi laten Things that only a Pad And in the end: 550s1400 1322968377024 p 00
, ears and sernwon deep vithin w she manages the wow youcan sew ne Please.疥y want you snopthisT Far a menent yau eel every instat off pain and risay and sunge and thast and despair h dis iswable lele child has experened her 7 shat years hanted by the uwa, 더his te thenaghly As you make eys contactyes uda y lee m age you'ne having and ays 22122 urage doeun ta thry Thry bilion people are 2211902 Yau bink Less than a secand has passed Your rurager doeun't evee hon going Sevee billion sods al.ndenstand鸸騝rai" supposed to da ateus z.nost of these people alseady deat th씌 msey has altady happened Mhat are Mest ot the ame, youhe a boody mess You cut yoursel neglay 2139008 The sedt change happess at meine. For a beel oent yee a tash you expecence the sueing and tomeet of an entse batery Cows Pigs The secasianul at Scen your ceescuses expands beyand ery being that ded lke corgassion and psice and enightesmest ssld have sere sat of Woe the Techescracy, think they can 2212231 胔to soot, that tying 30 make ronet@fchers happy i..wny mesan by the hope that &jast beps spiing keg eegh.tins Original Story ends here, But Several posts later: 2212 And sometw9.se" you breaks an apety.fut coated you rukang pina seerse 6aforng of oners, but rever d·anynag abe甙襛 creaks out three, tiny woeds And it sang of sthe things a Thing that ave no wards, in this or any langag Thingn that wl drve her to the saTE CaE an yau for The Masic only souches thase knowsbald in them the strength to andure, in this fawed wald thoas whe vll find wthe Thinga that only The Music can speak of, to thoas whe vi laten Things that only a Pad And in the end: 550s1400 1322968377024 p 00

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Casting fist

File: 1314053411 ipa11 KB, 184x184, bf445ca67343678e52e14b5cc7429bf6c2e57db..pg) Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:50 No.16028538 There's a Prestige Class called Cancer Mage in Book of Vile Darkness. The first level ability allows a Cancer Mage to ignore any negative effects of a disease In the same book there's a disease called Festering Anger. This disease grants a +2 to Strength if you can contract it, with an additional +2 per day Cancer Mage+Festering Anger Enough Time Infinite Strength MUSCLE WZARDS Discuss Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No.16028559 3.5 is horribly broken. We get it Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No. 16028567 It's not broken, it's "rewarding mastery of the system' Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No.16028568 The BOVD and the BOED were both regarded as slightly broken and really shouldn't be used by anyone Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)1853 № 16028571 File 1314053581ipg-(211 KB, 600x900, 1294973421728 jpg) do want What ho, Muscle Wizard! Might you cast us a spellP Ho Ho Ho Ho! Of course young ICAST FIST Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.05 No.16028734 With Improved Grapple, you won't provoke opportunity attacks. And you can deal 381 nonlethal and lethal damage a round, minimum. You can wrestle a Tarasque to death. Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:07 No.16028765 If you think THATS bad, you should, very carefully, read the description of the spell "no light" in the BoVD Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)19:09 No.16028786 16028734 it low-to-o teligence, and a feat that lets you add your Str bonus to l tir date So one ght easi este a Tarrasque noniet ally to 아 and then punch it until it gives you a pg back There's a feat that lets you ntimidate creatures ride F------ muscle wizards, man Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.12 No.16028817 Seems legit What am I missing here? Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.16 No. 16028851 time for a THAT GUY type question how to make the most broken muscle wizard? Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:19 No.16028877 I don't know the Wizard's roster that well, but I'm sure there's a combination of spells so that you can make a time bubble, give yourself an infinite amount of food, halt your aging, step inside, and fast-forward time a few years in a matter of minuteS Then, punch the DMPC 08/22/11(Mon)19:21 No. 16028899 File 1314055301.ipg-(2 KB, 126x95, 1304582177200s jpg) 16028877 it's too broken for me to handle Hell, use that as a Cancer Mage. YOUR STRENGTH FUELS YOUR SPELLCASTING. Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)19 45 No 16029142 lllumian They're bald tool But they can grow mustaches, if I recall. Thus fulfilling the prophecy of OP's image! Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:48 No.16029176 >>16029095 300 level 9 spells a day fueled by flexing your muscles YES Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.50 No. 16029193 216029095 Not only that, but if you take Leadership, Epic Leadership, and Might Makes Right, you can add your theoretically infinite Str bonus to your leadership level You can have literally MILLIONS of followers, all attracted by the SHEER POWER OF YOUR MUSCLES Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:53 No.16029225 This reminds me of Morrowind. You could catch Corprus, then use shrines a couple of times a week to remove the negative modifiers from it Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)20:15 No.16029399 So you'd be Amold Schwarzenegger? Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)20:56 No.16029786 The sheer amount GLORIOUS MUSCLE contained in this thread makes me weep with joy
File: 1314053411 ipa11 KB, 184x184, bf445ca67343678e52e14b5cc7429bf6c2e57db..pg) Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:50 No.16028538 There's a Prestige Class called Cancer Mage in Book of Vile Darkness. The first level ability allows a Cancer Mage to ignore any negative effects of a disease In the same book there's a disease called Festering Anger. This disease grants a +2 to Strength if you can contract it, with an additional +2 per day Cancer Mage+Festering Anger Enough Time Infinite Strength MUSCLE WZARDS Discuss Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No.16028559 3.5 is horribly broken. We get it Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No. 16028567 It's not broken, it's "rewarding mastery of the system' Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No.16028568 The BOVD and the BOED were both regarded as slightly broken and really shouldn't be used by anyone Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)1853 № 16028571 File 1314053581ipg-(211 KB, 600x900, 1294973421728 jpg) do want What ho, Muscle Wizard! Might you cast us a spellP Ho Ho Ho Ho! Of course young ICAST FIST Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.05 No.16028734 With Improved Grapple, you won't provoke opportunity attacks. And you can deal 381 nonlethal and lethal damage a round, minimum. You can wrestle a Tarasque to death. Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:07 No.16028765 If you think THATS bad, you should, very carefully, read the description of the spell "no light" in the BoVD Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)19:09 No.16028786 16028734 it low-to-o teligence, and a feat that lets you add your Str bonus to l tir date So one ght easi este a Tarrasque noniet ally to 아 and then punch it until it gives you a pg back There's a feat that lets you ntimidate creatures ride F------ muscle wizards, man Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.12 No.16028817 Seems legit What am I missing here? Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.16 No. 16028851 time for a THAT GUY type question how to make the most broken muscle wizard? Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:19 No.16028877 I don't know the Wizard's roster that well, but I'm sure there's a combination of spells so that you can make a time bubble, give yourself an infinite amount of food, halt your aging, step inside, and fast-forward time a few years in a matter of minuteS Then, punch the DMPC 08/22/11(Mon)19:21 No. 16028899 File 1314055301.ipg-(2 KB, 126x95, 1304582177200s jpg) 16028877 it's too broken for me to handle Hell, use that as a Cancer Mage. YOUR STRENGTH FUELS YOUR SPELLCASTING. Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)19 45 No 16029142 lllumian They're bald tool But they can grow mustaches, if I recall. Thus fulfilling the prophecy of OP's image! Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:48 No.16029176 >>16029095 300 level 9 spells a day fueled by flexing your muscles YES Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.50 No. 16029193 216029095 Not only that, but if you take Leadership, Epic Leadership, and Might Makes Right, you can add your theoretically infinite Str bonus to your leadership level You can have literally MILLIONS of followers, all attracted by the SHEER POWER OF YOUR MUSCLES Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:53 No.16029225 This reminds me of Morrowind. You could catch Corprus, then use shrines a couple of times a week to remove the negative modifiers from it Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)20:15 No.16029399 So you'd be Amold Schwarzenegger? Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)20:56 No.16029786 The sheer amount GLORIOUS MUSCLE contained in this thread makes me weep with joy

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Now that's some spooky shit

File 1289927834.gif-(246 KB, 500x441, skeletons.gif) undead thread Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:17 No.12818985 Hey gents, let's talk about those zany undead Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:18 No. 12819002 bump Anonymous 1 1/16/10(Tue)12:22 No. 1281 9026 f--- yeah undead. lemme find some saved stuff while i do that, thread about awesome liches: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1513305/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:25 No. 12819047 >Obligritory mention of skeletons, due to not having muscles, moving via magic. Ergo there is no physical limit (bar friction breaking them) on how fast they can move their arms. Logically you can wear their arms down to blades. Logically they can spin their arms fast enough to generate lft ying skeleton blenders Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:40 No.12819172 File 1289929226.gif-(11 KB, 420x522, death-knight.gif) Liches man they are the best COMMISSAR FORON !INbubB9jqLRJ 11/16/10(Tue)12:46 No.12819216 File 1289929580 ipg-(20 KB, 214x271, 1274204235078.jpg) 12819047 >Everything you just said >Its glorious Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:07 No.12819386 So wait, if they can move real fast (improved initative, skitter, s--- like that) would it be faster for them to run or cartwheel? Actually, would it be faster just to get like some skeleton quadrapeds or something and nail some lances to their backs. Prehaps fill their ribs with lead to make them heavy and just make em RAM THE F--- outta castles? With a decent run up and some leg reinforcing I could easy see one hitting 100mph Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:10 No.12819414 P> >cartwheeling skeletons My players would emit the power of a thousand WTFs the instant I unveil that Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:24 No.12821640 7 KB, 640x400, fly skeletons.jpg) THIlIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPP!!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:26 No.12821659 >12821640 F--- YES! YOU'RE POST IS GOOD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL GOOD!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:29 No.12821693 >12821640 I love /tg/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:32 No.12821714 P> Did somebody say... SKELECOPTERS!? □ CommissarMega !EJmdGZdQ+SD 11/16/10(Tue)17:34 No.12821743 I swear if i ever saw skelecopters. I would die. Not because they chopped me to pieces but because l was laughing so hard I couldn't breath Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:35 No.12821754 File 1289946922 ipg-(28 KB, 472x454, Respek_Knuckles.jpg) Spo >12819047 P> uckl
File 1289927834.gif-(246 KB, 500x441, skeletons.gif) undead thread Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:17 No.12818985 Hey gents, let's talk about those zany undead Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:18 No. 12819002 bump Anonymous 1 1/16/10(Tue)12:22 No. 1281 9026 f--- yeah undead. lemme find some saved stuff while i do that, thread about awesome liches: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1513305/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:25 No. 12819047 >Obligritory mention of skeletons, due to not having muscles, moving via magic. Ergo there is no physical limit (bar friction breaking them) on how fast they can move their arms. Logically you can wear their arms down to blades. Logically they can spin their arms fast enough to generate lft ying skeleton blenders Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:40 No.12819172 File 1289929226.gif-(11 KB, 420x522, death-knight.gif) Liches man they are the best COMMISSAR FORON !INbubB9jqLRJ 11/16/10(Tue)12:46 No.12819216 File 1289929580 ipg-(20 KB, 214x271, 1274204235078.jpg) 12819047 >Everything you just said >Its glorious Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:07 No.12819386 So wait, if they can move real fast (improved initative, skitter, s--- like that) would it be faster for them to run or cartwheel? Actually, would it be faster just to get like some skeleton quadrapeds or something and nail some lances to their backs. Prehaps fill their ribs with lead to make them heavy and just make em RAM THE F--- outta castles? With a decent run up and some leg reinforcing I could easy see one hitting 100mph Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:10 No.12819414 P> >cartwheeling skeletons My players would emit the power of a thousand WTFs the instant I unveil that Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:24 No.12821640 7 KB, 640x400, fly skeletons.jpg) THIlIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPP!!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:26 No.12821659 >12821640 F--- YES! YOU'RE POST IS GOOD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL GOOD!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:29 No.12821693 >12821640 I love /tg/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:32 No.12821714 P> Did somebody say... SKELECOPTERS!? □ CommissarMega !EJmdGZdQ+SD 11/16/10(Tue)17:34 No.12821743 I swear if i ever saw skelecopters. I would die. Not because they chopped me to pieces but because l was laughing so hard I couldn't breath Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:35 No.12821754 File 1289946922 ipg-(28 KB, 472x454, Respek_Knuckles.jpg) Spo >12819047 P> uckl

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old man henderson 2

Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:04 No. 10967443 Technically the theft of the Yacht came first, and is connected to the dropping, so ll start there Old Man Henderson, with his erstwhile companion Jimmy (the Jock) and his Friends William Brocklaw, a once humble bartender (The now dead Detective's player. Old Man Henderson bumed down his bar on accident and blamed it on the cultists. One bluff check later and he in the Posse.), and Simon Breckenridge, British Spy (the Professors player, now six characters in. And yes, they were more or less all killed by Old Man Henderson) Old Man Henderson had discovered that there was not one cult to the Elder Gods, but several. This complicated his search for his gnomes/crusade. He decided to enlist help in making the problem solve itself Using his contacts, Simon discovered that a Influential Cultist of Hastur was coming to town to try and figure out how an Avatar of his god was killed (more on this in the tanker truck incident). He also located the exact dock on which he would be landing his boat Jimmy, meanwhile discovered the home of the head of the local Cthulhu cults was at: a Penthouse suite downtown. A plan was hatched Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:12 No.10967518 2210967443 Old Man Henderson used all of his cunning to steal a Military Cargo Helicopter (read: Shuroken'd the pilot and flew off), and hid it in an abandoned warehouse Jimmy, and Will set up a VERY EXPENSIVE surround sound speaker system at the docks, while Simon made and planted a lot of smoke bombs That night, the Yacht pulled in, and we made our move. Right as Simon maneuvered the Helicopter over the docks, we set off the Smoke bombs and activated the Speakers. On one side: A Fifty piece Marching band playing 'God Save the Queen at max volume, and on the other the audio from the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. Imagine, for a moment what being on the dock would have been like Utter. F------. CHAOS. □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:21 No 10967608 2210967518 l jumped down from the Helicopter onto the boat, and rigged it to lift out of there. During the course of which I ran into the Cultist guy and Ninja Kicked him in the head, knocking him tail-over-teakettle and off the boat. I later leamed that he broke his neck in the fall Damned convenient, otherwise he might have have been able to ID me We then lifted the boat out of there, switched to out secondary audio on all sides (My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion. I was in a Vengeful mood, gnome stealing bastards.) So when the cultists finally got the smoke to clear their Yacht was gone, their leader dead, and Celine Dion was stuck in their heads. Not the best of days. Then we went across town, in a stolen Military Cargo chopper, carrying a 40t Yacht, and 'parked the helicopter above the penthouse, with the Yacht about 80ft above it. Then we cut the line, jumped out with our parachutes, and watched the Yacht ruin a dinner party while placing bets on whether the military would save the chopper, blow it up, or if it would just hover there until it ran out of fuel. □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:44 No. 10967829 10957608 Now, time for what will forever be known as The tanker truck incident. Notice The is capitalized. This is because no matter what incidents in the future may invove tanker trucks, this is the definitive one It started out innocently enough, Old Man Henderson left the stakeout in a van outside the evil cult's meeting place to go get some hooch. The only people now there are the Detective, and James Fink (the professors second character). Jimmy was gone because it was a school night (Old Man Henderson was a bad influence, but damned if he didn't have the kids best interests at heart.) The cultists see me leaving (1 had a very distinct appearance, after all. VERY USEFUL in scoring TPKs.), and discover my friends spying on them. The detective gets a pretty GAR death, and James dies like a bitch. But not yet. Im on my way back, walking along. The Detective and James had been brought inside as part of a ritual to give Hastur an Avatar in our world (He had been banished, and the only way he could come here is via a loophole). He could only use people who knew he existed and had thwarted him trice as a host, and then he had to make them drink the life-blood of their closest friend to make the binding permanent In case youre wondering. permanent binding GAME OVER □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:53 No 10967917 2210967829 The first part of the ritual was completed, but before Hastur could take control, the detective broke James Shackles and he tried to run He made it as far as the street, when the detective(Now Hastur) caught up with him, part demon-form. Now where this church (for lack of a better term) was located, was at the end of the road on a T shaped intersection. There was a gas-station about three blocks away, which is where Old Man Henderson was while this was going down. Old Man Henderson sees the s--- hit the fan, and steals a Half-full tanker truck that WAS refilling the station's holding tank. While I bring the truck up to ramming speed, I toss a 12 lb block of C-4 in the passenger seat and rig the detonator to the airbags. Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:02 No 10968042 22 10967917 Old Man Henderson then took a bracing shot of whiskey jammed a knife through the gas pedal, then jumped of of the truck onto his heelies Ye$, he modified his combat boots to have heelie$ swear to god I had not planned this to happen, the heelies just sounded like something f------ ridiculous and in character) He watched the Truck ram the detective into the church, the blew him and all the cultists to Kingdom Come. The truck also killed James By running him over That's when the back-trail ignited, fire going all the way back to the gas-station and destroying it, continuing my streak of accidentally destroying anything that might lead people back to Old Man I took a moment to call Jimmey Henderson here. Figured out what the nasties are weak against What's that Mr. Henderson?" "Point blank annihilation." click Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09 04 No. 10968068 Does anyone care If I throw up Hell on lce? It's my favorite of the bunch, but if nobody cares I'll save it for later □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:07 No. 10968114 Almost forgot to mention, there was a bar right next to the gas station called the Homble Revelation, which was the one that Will had owned □ Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09:08 No 10968118 f-----' do you crazy son of a bitch Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09:09 No.10968126 2210968068 For the love of god. MORE Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:18 No.10968224 210958118 Okie-doke We were in the end-game, with zombies and shoggoths chasing us. I managed to get Jimmy Disappeared, so it was Old Man Henderson, Simon and Will going to the final strong-point we had An abandoned Hockey Stadium. On the way there, we had rammed through a small home-and-garden store in our truck. And when we arrived, we started barring the doors and windows, when I noticed something. Our trip through the store had netted us a passenger a single lawn gnome Somehow, I knew right then that this was it. No lucky tum of fate, no Deus Ex Machina.. Old Man Henderson was going to die But Id be damned if it wouldn't be the best f------ last stand ever I then revealed to the GM that Henderson was a World Champion Figure skater, Hockey player, and golfer The Backstory of Doom got one final use We had got almost all of the doors barricaded, but the zombie/shoggoth army kicked in the last door and got Simon, Will was pulled off the Zamboni after he manage to throw the Crate onto the ice The crate full of exploding hockey pucks Lasted a couple of minutes while blasting Bust A Move (Young MC) before the situation resolved into totally f-----. I switched to the next track as I yelled "HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR! The next track came on, it was the Canadian national anthem, which Old Man Henderson began to sing proudly, at the top of his lungs I then threw out the three pieces of knowledge that marked Old Man Henderson's Blaze Of Glory 1: Calling Hastur's name 3 times will summon him, but only if the one who is truest foe at the time calls it (guess who). 2 When an elder God is summoned from beyond, they suffer a sort of summoning sickness. They're still unbelievably strong, but can be killed FOREVER if you hit them hard enough. 3 The building had enough explosives wired to make Michal Bay blush. And that my friends, is the tale of how Old Man Henderson won Call of Cthuhlu Anonymous 07/07/10(Wed)20:26 No.10998795 I hereby suggest the use of "Henderson magnitude scale of plot derailment quake" to be used from hereon. 1 full Henderson rates as total derailment"
Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:04 No. 10967443 Technically the theft of the Yacht came first, and is connected to the dropping, so ll start there Old Man Henderson, with his erstwhile companion Jimmy (the Jock) and his Friends William Brocklaw, a once humble bartender (The now dead Detective's player. Old Man Henderson bumed down his bar on accident and blamed it on the cultists. One bluff check later and he in the Posse.), and Simon Breckenridge, British Spy (the Professors player, now six characters in. And yes, they were more or less all killed by Old Man Henderson) Old Man Henderson had discovered that there was not one cult to the Elder Gods, but several. This complicated his search for his gnomes/crusade. He decided to enlist help in making the problem solve itself Using his contacts, Simon discovered that a Influential Cultist of Hastur was coming to town to try and figure out how an Avatar of his god was killed (more on this in the tanker truck incident). He also located the exact dock on which he would be landing his boat Jimmy, meanwhile discovered the home of the head of the local Cthulhu cults was at: a Penthouse suite downtown. A plan was hatched Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:12 No.10967518 2210967443 Old Man Henderson used all of his cunning to steal a Military Cargo Helicopter (read: Shuroken'd the pilot and flew off), and hid it in an abandoned warehouse Jimmy, and Will set up a VERY EXPENSIVE surround sound speaker system at the docks, while Simon made and planted a lot of smoke bombs That night, the Yacht pulled in, and we made our move. Right as Simon maneuvered the Helicopter over the docks, we set off the Smoke bombs and activated the Speakers. On one side: A Fifty piece Marching band playing 'God Save the Queen at max volume, and on the other the audio from the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. Imagine, for a moment what being on the dock would have been like Utter. F------. CHAOS. □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:21 No 10967608 2210967518 l jumped down from the Helicopter onto the boat, and rigged it to lift out of there. During the course of which I ran into the Cultist guy and Ninja Kicked him in the head, knocking him tail-over-teakettle and off the boat. I later leamed that he broke his neck in the fall Damned convenient, otherwise he might have have been able to ID me We then lifted the boat out of there, switched to out secondary audio on all sides (My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion. I was in a Vengeful mood, gnome stealing bastards.) So when the cultists finally got the smoke to clear their Yacht was gone, their leader dead, and Celine Dion was stuck in their heads. Not the best of days. Then we went across town, in a stolen Military Cargo chopper, carrying a 40t Yacht, and 'parked the helicopter above the penthouse, with the Yacht about 80ft above it. Then we cut the line, jumped out with our parachutes, and watched the Yacht ruin a dinner party while placing bets on whether the military would save the chopper, blow it up, or if it would just hover there until it ran out of fuel. □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:44 No. 10967829 10957608 Now, time for what will forever be known as The tanker truck incident. Notice The is capitalized. This is because no matter what incidents in the future may invove tanker trucks, this is the definitive one It started out innocently enough, Old Man Henderson left the stakeout in a van outside the evil cult's meeting place to go get some hooch. The only people now there are the Detective, and James Fink (the professors second character). Jimmy was gone because it was a school night (Old Man Henderson was a bad influence, but damned if he didn't have the kids best interests at heart.) The cultists see me leaving (1 had a very distinct appearance, after all. VERY USEFUL in scoring TPKs.), and discover my friends spying on them. The detective gets a pretty GAR death, and James dies like a bitch. But not yet. Im on my way back, walking along. The Detective and James had been brought inside as part of a ritual to give Hastur an Avatar in our world (He had been banished, and the only way he could come here is via a loophole). He could only use people who knew he existed and had thwarted him trice as a host, and then he had to make them drink the life-blood of their closest friend to make the binding permanent In case youre wondering. permanent binding GAME OVER □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:53 No 10967917 2210967829 The first part of the ritual was completed, but before Hastur could take control, the detective broke James Shackles and he tried to run He made it as far as the street, when the detective(Now Hastur) caught up with him, part demon-form. Now where this church (for lack of a better term) was located, was at the end of the road on a T shaped intersection. There was a gas-station about three blocks away, which is where Old Man Henderson was while this was going down. Old Man Henderson sees the s--- hit the fan, and steals a Half-full tanker truck that WAS refilling the station's holding tank. While I bring the truck up to ramming speed, I toss a 12 lb block of C-4 in the passenger seat and rig the detonator to the airbags. Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:02 No 10968042 22 10967917 Old Man Henderson then took a bracing shot of whiskey jammed a knife through the gas pedal, then jumped of of the truck onto his heelies Ye$, he modified his combat boots to have heelie$ swear to god I had not planned this to happen, the heelies just sounded like something f------ ridiculous and in character) He watched the Truck ram the detective into the church, the blew him and all the cultists to Kingdom Come. The truck also killed James By running him over That's when the back-trail ignited, fire going all the way back to the gas-station and destroying it, continuing my streak of accidentally destroying anything that might lead people back to Old Man I took a moment to call Jimmey Henderson here. Figured out what the nasties are weak against What's that Mr. Henderson?" "Point blank annihilation." click Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09 04 No. 10968068 Does anyone care If I throw up Hell on lce? It's my favorite of the bunch, but if nobody cares I'll save it for later □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:07 No. 10968114 Almost forgot to mention, there was a bar right next to the gas station called the Homble Revelation, which was the one that Will had owned □ Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09:08 No 10968118 f-----' do you crazy son of a bitch Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09:09 No.10968126 2210968068 For the love of god. MORE Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:18 No.10968224 210958118 Okie-doke We were in the end-game, with zombies and shoggoths chasing us. I managed to get Jimmy Disappeared, so it was Old Man Henderson, Simon and Will going to the final strong-point we had An abandoned Hockey Stadium. On the way there, we had rammed through a small home-and-garden store in our truck. And when we arrived, we started barring the doors and windows, when I noticed something. Our trip through the store had netted us a passenger a single lawn gnome Somehow, I knew right then that this was it. No lucky tum of fate, no Deus Ex Machina.. Old Man Henderson was going to die But Id be damned if it wouldn't be the best f------ last stand ever I then revealed to the GM that Henderson was a World Champion Figure skater, Hockey player, and golfer The Backstory of Doom got one final use We had got almost all of the doors barricaded, but the zombie/shoggoth army kicked in the last door and got Simon, Will was pulled off the Zamboni after he manage to throw the Crate onto the ice The crate full of exploding hockey pucks Lasted a couple of minutes while blasting Bust A Move (Young MC) before the situation resolved into totally f-----. I switched to the next track as I yelled "HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR! The next track came on, it was the Canadian national anthem, which Old Man Henderson began to sing proudly, at the top of his lungs I then threw out the three pieces of knowledge that marked Old Man Henderson's Blaze Of Glory 1: Calling Hastur's name 3 times will summon him, but only if the one who is truest foe at the time calls it (guess who). 2 When an elder God is summoned from beyond, they suffer a sort of summoning sickness. They're still unbelievably strong, but can be killed FOREVER if you hit them hard enough. 3 The building had enough explosives wired to make Michal Bay blush. And that my friends, is the tale of how Old Man Henderson won Call of Cthuhlu Anonymous 07/07/10(Wed)20:26 No.10998795 I hereby suggest the use of "Henderson magnitude scale of plot derailment quake" to be used from hereon. 1 full Henderson rates as total derailment"

/tg/
/tg/ greentext 4chan 8chan traditional games

old man henderson 1, the man the legend

□ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:26 No 10966503 10966457 I hate de-railing a thread on accident. Who wants to hear the Tale of Old Man Henderson, the character who 'won Call of Cthulhu? □ Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)06:27 No.10966512 I do Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:36 No.10966618 10966512 Alright then, Id like to start by saying that the GM was a bastard that had it coming. B------- tactics to make everyone go crazy like a d6 with only 5 sides. No story, no reason; lose 10 sanity The others continued to allow this faggotry We were playing a moden day setting, with the other players being: A college professor who found a couple of stray pages of a copy of the Necronomicron and wanted to find out just what the hell it was, a detective who was investigating a missing persons case connected to the local cult, and a local athlete (I think it was football) trying to find out why some of his friends seemed so distant lately And then... There was Old Man Henderson, who was never given a first name Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:51 No. 10966785 2210966618 Old Man Henderson was already a little crazy, and blamed his life's misfortunes on Vietnam He never went to Vietnam, he was 12 in 74 (and I will be f------ amazed if anyone gets that reference) Old Man Henderson wore Combat boots, cargo shorts, and an open-front Hawaiian shirt with a wife-beater underneath. He was dyslexic, and had a lesser case of Schizophrenia; allowing him to assume that the reason he saw crazy s--- was because he WAS a little bit crazy. He had a grizzly adams beard and wore his hair in a mohawk. He never took off his aviator shades, for any reason He had a stuffed parrot on his shoulder named Rupert that he constantly asked for advice, while ignoring the other party members as convenient, assuming they were hallucinations He had a Automatic combat shot-gun he knew how to use He also had MEMORIZED the anarchist's cookbook. He started the game with a pre-existing hatred of religion, cutlery, and books. His motivation was that he thought that the cult had stole his lawn-gnomes; while he had actually donated them to a charity auction, got high, and forgot about it Most importantly, he had a 320 page backstory that justified EVERYTHING, from his casual knowledge of physics to his ability to speak Portuguese flawlessly You can just imagine the sort of Shenanigans that character was involved in. Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:19 No.10967074 >10966818 The point to having such a long backstory was three-fold: 1: to ensure the GM would never actually read it and 2: Since he would never read it except for in excerpts i pointed out to justify things, I could re-write and change things around completely at random without anyone noticing and MOST IMPORTANTLY 3. Convince everyone that I was serious about this character, and that it wasnt simply the game wrecking b------- that it was D------ yes, but he really did have it coming 2210966785 First outing of the group: The Detective was spying on the building of the cultists with a camera The Jock was parked nearby, waiting for the group to let out so he could snoop it out. The Professor had joined the cult to try and gain information. Old Man Henderson very calmly parked his car, got out holding the shotgun in clear view of anyone who happened to be looking (in this case, the detective and the Jock), strolled up to the front door and kicked it in. While everyone just kind of stopped in shocked silence for a moment, he leveled his Shotgun on the lead priest/cultist guy and yelled "MUCKLE DAMRED CULT! 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN ME WEE MEN!?!?" Did I mention that he had a Nigh Incomprehensible Scottish accent that came and went as he drank and/or as amused me? The leader couldn't understand my simple request to return my lawn gnomes (literally, you think what I typed is hard to understand? imagine it being slurred at you by a drunken Scotsman), he assumed I was trying to cast a spell at him in an elder tongue and summoned a shoggoth by murdering one of his fellows One Molotov And about 20 rounds later, the Shoggoth is dead, as is the cult leader, the Professor (he made the mistake of trying to make peace-maker mid murderous rampage) and about 10 assorted cultists Old Man Henderson then p----- on the Shoggoth's corpse, got back in his battered 92 Buick Century, and went home The whole event was over in about ten minutes game time and no-one thought to get the Buick's plates The building burned down shortly, along with about half the written plot, and every lead either of the other surviving players had. The GM called a break then to figure out how to fix and/or work around what I just did It only got crazier from there Anonymous 07/06/10 (Tue)07:36 No. 10967215 >10967086 I must have more, good sir! □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:37 No.10967237 210967215 Typing up the full exploits of Old Man Henderson would take too long, can I just give you the highlights reel? Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07:38 No.10967240 10967237 I will settle for that □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:47 No. 10967295 All Right-ey then Some of his finer moments include Dropping a Yacht onto a penthouse suite owned by Cthulhu Cultists. The stealing of said Yacht from cultists of Hastur, thereby starting a cultist gang-war The Tanker truck incident, and my personal Favorite Hell on Ice Which one do you want to hear about first? □ dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499t/ 07/06/10(Tue)0748 No 10967307 >10967295 Dropping the Yacht. Lets take it from the top. Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07 48 No. 10967308 210967295 Run through them all in order
□ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:26 No 10966503 10966457 I hate de-railing a thread on accident. Who wants to hear the Tale of Old Man Henderson, the character who 'won Call of Cthulhu? □ Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)06:27 No.10966512 I do Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:36 No.10966618 10966512 Alright then, Id like to start by saying that the GM was a bastard that had it coming. B------- tactics to make everyone go crazy like a d6 with only 5 sides. No story, no reason; lose 10 sanity The others continued to allow this faggotry We were playing a moden day setting, with the other players being: A college professor who found a couple of stray pages of a copy of the Necronomicron and wanted to find out just what the hell it was, a detective who was investigating a missing persons case connected to the local cult, and a local athlete (I think it was football) trying to find out why some of his friends seemed so distant lately And then... There was Old Man Henderson, who was never given a first name Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:51 No. 10966785 2210966618 Old Man Henderson was already a little crazy, and blamed his life's misfortunes on Vietnam He never went to Vietnam, he was 12 in 74 (and I will be f------ amazed if anyone gets that reference) Old Man Henderson wore Combat boots, cargo shorts, and an open-front Hawaiian shirt with a wife-beater underneath. He was dyslexic, and had a lesser case of Schizophrenia; allowing him to assume that the reason he saw crazy s--- was because he WAS a little bit crazy. He had a grizzly adams beard and wore his hair in a mohawk. He never took off his aviator shades, for any reason He had a stuffed parrot on his shoulder named Rupert that he constantly asked for advice, while ignoring the other party members as convenient, assuming they were hallucinations He had a Automatic combat shot-gun he knew how to use He also had MEMORIZED the anarchist's cookbook. He started the game with a pre-existing hatred of religion, cutlery, and books. His motivation was that he thought that the cult had stole his lawn-gnomes; while he had actually donated them to a charity auction, got high, and forgot about it Most importantly, he had a 320 page backstory that justified EVERYTHING, from his casual knowledge of physics to his ability to speak Portuguese flawlessly You can just imagine the sort of Shenanigans that character was involved in. Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:19 No.10967074 >10966818 The point to having such a long backstory was three-fold: 1: to ensure the GM would never actually read it and 2: Since he would never read it except for in excerpts i pointed out to justify things, I could re-write and change things around completely at random without anyone noticing and MOST IMPORTANTLY 3. Convince everyone that I was serious about this character, and that it wasnt simply the game wrecking b------- that it was D------ yes, but he really did have it coming 2210966785 First outing of the group: The Detective was spying on the building of the cultists with a camera The Jock was parked nearby, waiting for the group to let out so he could snoop it out. The Professor had joined the cult to try and gain information. Old Man Henderson very calmly parked his car, got out holding the shotgun in clear view of anyone who happened to be looking (in this case, the detective and the Jock), strolled up to the front door and kicked it in. While everyone just kind of stopped in shocked silence for a moment, he leveled his Shotgun on the lead priest/cultist guy and yelled "MUCKLE DAMRED CULT! 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN ME WEE MEN!?!?" Did I mention that he had a Nigh Incomprehensible Scottish accent that came and went as he drank and/or as amused me? The leader couldn't understand my simple request to return my lawn gnomes (literally, you think what I typed is hard to understand? imagine it being slurred at you by a drunken Scotsman), he assumed I was trying to cast a spell at him in an elder tongue and summoned a shoggoth by murdering one of his fellows One Molotov And about 20 rounds later, the Shoggoth is dead, as is the cult leader, the Professor (he made the mistake of trying to make peace-maker mid murderous rampage) and about 10 assorted cultists Old Man Henderson then p----- on the Shoggoth's corpse, got back in his battered 92 Buick Century, and went home The whole event was over in about ten minutes game time and no-one thought to get the Buick's plates The building burned down shortly, along with about half the written plot, and every lead either of the other surviving players had. The GM called a break then to figure out how to fix and/or work around what I just did It only got crazier from there Anonymous 07/06/10 (Tue)07:36 No. 10967215 >10967086 I must have more, good sir! □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:37 No.10967237 210967215 Typing up the full exploits of Old Man Henderson would take too long, can I just give you the highlights reel? Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07:38 No.10967240 10967237 I will settle for that □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:47 No. 10967295 All Right-ey then Some of his finer moments include Dropping a Yacht onto a penthouse suite owned by Cthulhu Cultists. The stealing of said Yacht from cultists of Hastur, thereby starting a cultist gang-war The Tanker truck incident, and my personal Favorite Hell on Ice Which one do you want to hear about first? □ dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499t/ 07/06/10(Tue)0748 No 10967307 >10967295 Dropping the Yacht. Lets take it from the top. Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07 48 No. 10967308 210967295 Run through them all in order

/tg/
greentext old man henderson /tg/ 4chan 8chan traditional games

Bring me to your jamster

File: 1357624956718.ipg-(97 KB, 792x794, 7.jpg) □ Anonymous 01/08/13(Tue)01:02 No.22464072 Replies: 2222464185 > The dark Lichnomancer was prophecized to be defeated in battle by the Chosen One five hundred years ago > He failed, and the Lichnomancer cast the world into darkness > You live in squalor, in one of a few remaining scattered villages of the living, trying not to draw attention from the roving zombie armies that aren't even necessary, but still terrorize those "lucky" enough to still remain > You get about two hours of cloudly sunlight per day around noon, and the farmlands can barely support the village - the rest of the day there is nothing but magically-induced darkness in the sky > One day a black-and-gold carriage made out of painted human bones, its wheels made of metal spikes and human skulls, pulls into your village > Everyone locks themselves in their homes, but you were too slow > Ohshitohshitohshit > Carriage opens its door, out comes a twelve-foot lich with a flaming skull and black robes, his nine-foot tall stff with a gem the color of human souls on top > "HUMAN," he says in a voice that chills you to the bone. "I HAVE COME HERE FOR ONE REASON - AND ONE REASON ALONE. SUBMIT, AND I MAY SPARE THIS VILLAGE, IF ONLY OUT OF DISINTEREST IN IT." > Your knees wobbling > He slams his staff into the ground, and around you forms a basketball court out of blood, bones, sinnew, the nets made out of preserved muscles. The moon above blinks out of existence no, it just shrunk, so much that it now falls from the sky, and with a slam, lands, bouncing once, twice, three times in front of you , you croke out a "What?" > "I AM HERE TO JAM." the lichnomancer says, and picks up the ball. He throws it into your chest, and you find it's the weight of a normal basketball What do?
File: 1357624956718.ipg-(97 KB, 792x794, 7.jpg) □ Anonymous 01/08/13(Tue)01:02 No.22464072 Replies: 2222464185 > The dark Lichnomancer was prophecized to be defeated in battle by the Chosen One five hundred years ago > He failed, and the Lichnomancer cast the world into darkness > You live in squalor, in one of a few remaining scattered villages of the living, trying not to draw attention from the roving zombie armies that aren't even necessary, but still terrorize those "lucky" enough to still remain > You get about two hours of cloudly sunlight per day around noon, and the farmlands can barely support the village - the rest of the day there is nothing but magically-induced darkness in the sky > One day a black-and-gold carriage made out of painted human bones, its wheels made of metal spikes and human skulls, pulls into your village > Everyone locks themselves in their homes, but you were too slow > Ohshitohshitohshit > Carriage opens its door, out comes a twelve-foot lich with a flaming skull and black robes, his nine-foot tall stff with a gem the color of human souls on top > "HUMAN," he says in a voice that chills you to the bone. "I HAVE COME HERE FOR ONE REASON - AND ONE REASON ALONE. SUBMIT, AND I MAY SPARE THIS VILLAGE, IF ONLY OUT OF DISINTEREST IN IT." > Your knees wobbling > He slams his staff into the ground, and around you forms a basketball court out of blood, bones, sinnew, the nets made out of preserved muscles. The moon above blinks out of existence no, it just shrunk, so much that it now falls from the sky, and with a slam, lands, bouncing once, twice, three times in front of you , you croke out a "What?" > "I AM HERE TO JAM." the lichnomancer says, and picks up the ball. He throws it into your chest, and you find it's the weight of a normal basketball What do?

/tg/
/tg/ 4chan 8chan greentext come on an slam traditional games

the ulimate nercomancer

File: 1332209948.ipg-(175 KB, 1600x1022, Ultimate_Necromancer.jpg) Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:19 No.133208539 I was eating breakfast today and I dropped my spoon in the cereal. after I has fished it out I looked up and there, sitting across the table from me, was the Ultimate Necromancer. "l know you ain't lookin in there for yo virginity." I choked and lurched forward and spat a mouthful of milky cereal on the table. one of his skeletons walked into the kitchen. the skeleton was like "damn" Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:20 No.133208638 I was taking notes in class when the ultimate necromancer walked into the lecture hall and sat down next to me. I squirmed in my chair and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. nobody else seemed to notice his staff and cloak and the skeletons who shambled in afterwards and sat in the next row back. he took out a notebook and began taking notes. I looked over quickly to see what he was writing and it said "my skeleton's aint the only one in this hall with they bones showing. check it." I gasped and the lecturer suddenly spun around, dropped his chalk on the floor, and was like "damn! Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:21 No.133208730 I was out at the graveyard digging up a few coffins with the help of my two least rotted zombies when a dark figure in a velour robe walked up to me with a big-breasted vampire girl hanging off his arm. He lifted up his shades and looked me over head to toe before speaking. "Boy, you about as spooky as a closed-down Hot Topic store." He gestured to my magical staff. "Look at this s---, somewhere there's a playground with some sad-ass kids wondering where they tetherball pole went." One of the zombies was obviously agitated and started shambling towards the mysterious man. With the flick of a hand, he sent a cone of cold at the zombie, freezing its putrid flesh almost instantly. A quick thrust of his cane shattered the hapless creature instantly. "Look hard, son. That's the most ice you're ever gonna see in your unlife." He and his vampire companion turned to leave. Before disappearing into the shadows completely, he shouted into the night, "And your ceremonial robe look like a dishrag." I was stupefied and speechless. At that moment, I knew how my zombies felt. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:22 No.133208846 on the train yesterday I got on at gallivan square and was heading down towards ballpark when I saw a bum on the side of the road with a sign. I read it and it said "my skeleton called he wants he rags back" and I looked again at the bum and realized it was the ultimate necromancer! I gasped and tried to turn away but at the next stop who should get on but the ultimate necromancer himself. he sits down next to me and a few of his skeletons come on and stand around holding on to the railings. I'm shaking with fear and the sweat is pouring in torrents down my face and back. the necromancer leans in close to me and whispers in my ear "I've got a reanimated cat that's more p---- than you're ever gonna see." and I screamed, tore my clothes, leaped from the seat, slammed my head and arms on the plexiglass window until it broke, leaped through it from the moving train at sixty miles an hour, landed on the gravel beside the tracks, and tore at my face and eyes with my own hands while a bloodcurdling "DAMN!" forced its way from my throat. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:26 No.133209127 I was fighting some knights in a dank dungeon the other day and l'd just sent the last one toppling backwards into a pit of spikes when one of my dread zombies gestured to the darkness at the other end of the passage and groaned. I cast a light spell and who should it reveal but the ultimate necromancer. a skeleton with a wide pelvis was on his arm and his cane throbbed with dark energies. I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "that iron spike the only thing penetratin up in this fortress of solitude." my zombies thrashed about in agony and my face turned ashen. I moved to bring my staff to bear on him but he waved me away with a flick of his diamond-encrusted fingers. "you can bring the dead back to life but n---- you staff flaccid like a wet french fry." I screamed and the scream reverbated through the passages of the dungeon, bouncing off the mossy stone and returning to me twisted, garbled and from a thousand different directions. I sank to my knees and the ultimate necromancer passed by. from the spike pit, with his dying breath the knight struggled to lift his head and mumble "damn Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:27 No.133209238 I was in the club looking to on the floor. Even I can't bring that s--- back." I felt woozy. With a snap of his fingers, every girl in the joint heeled up behind him. "Let's roll up outta here, ladies. This scene's dead as hell anyway I held my hand to my rapidly thumping heart as The Ultimate Necromancer floated to the door. With one last glance, he flipped an old dusty grimoire at my feet. "Study up on some skills, lil man With trembling fingers, I reached for the book, only to have it jump up and slap me across the jaw. "Lesson one, bitch. You can't teach this s---." The spellbook took off after The Ultimate Necromancer, and his laughter rung in my ears p on a girl when I feel a cold tap on my shoulder. I'm shocked into shame to see it's none other than The Ultimate Necromancer. "Look at your game, rotting there □ Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:30 No.13320947 I stayed home because I was afraid of running into the ultimate necromancer so l watched TV. They were about to award the oscars. Than I saw him. The ultimate necromancer won in the category of best everything. He took his price and stared calmly into one of the cameras. He uttered I have a few words to say these words alone made me nervous Sweating and pantingI tried to grab the remote, but I couldnt find it. ..a little shoutout to a certain wannabe necromancer thats watching right now...who only reanimates the dead because he cant get laid with real girls...' my head starts to hurt. The taste of blood fills my mouth. "... but even the dead reject him.' My vision gets blurry and I start to vomit. '1 heard he dug his grandma out recently.' I start breathing histerically. 'So who knows...' I pee my pants in fear. I cant make a single clear thougt. '...if he lost his virginity to her.' I fell over and tried to gather my last bit of power, but no use The last thing im seeing... hundreds of zombie celbrities looking at the camera, moaning in unison 'damn' Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:32 No.133209606 One time I was praying to god hoping he would forgive me for my sins. The ultimate Necromancer came up from behind and whispered into my ear: 'there is no god. after death your flesh will decay and your corpse will rot. God is dead. and hes my slave now.' I looked up to the sky and heard a divine voice like thunder roar 'DAMN"
File: 1332209948.ipg-(175 KB, 1600x1022, Ultimate_Necromancer.jpg) Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:19 No.133208539 I was eating breakfast today and I dropped my spoon in the cereal. after I has fished it out I looked up and there, sitting across the table from me, was the Ultimate Necromancer. "l know you ain't lookin in there for yo virginity." I choked and lurched forward and spat a mouthful of milky cereal on the table. one of his skeletons walked into the kitchen. the skeleton was like "damn" Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:20 No.133208638 I was taking notes in class when the ultimate necromancer walked into the lecture hall and sat down next to me. I squirmed in my chair and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. nobody else seemed to notice his staff and cloak and the skeletons who shambled in afterwards and sat in the next row back. he took out a notebook and began taking notes. I looked over quickly to see what he was writing and it said "my skeleton's aint the only one in this hall with they bones showing. check it." I gasped and the lecturer suddenly spun around, dropped his chalk on the floor, and was like "damn! Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:21 No.133208730 I was out at the graveyard digging up a few coffins with the help of my two least rotted zombies when a dark figure in a velour robe walked up to me with a big-breasted vampire girl hanging off his arm. He lifted up his shades and looked me over head to toe before speaking. "Boy, you about as spooky as a closed-down Hot Topic store." He gestured to my magical staff. "Look at this s---, somewhere there's a playground with some sad-ass kids wondering where they tetherball pole went." One of the zombies was obviously agitated and started shambling towards the mysterious man. With the flick of a hand, he sent a cone of cold at the zombie, freezing its putrid flesh almost instantly. A quick thrust of his cane shattered the hapless creature instantly. "Look hard, son. That's the most ice you're ever gonna see in your unlife." He and his vampire companion turned to leave. Before disappearing into the shadows completely, he shouted into the night, "And your ceremonial robe look like a dishrag." I was stupefied and speechless. At that moment, I knew how my zombies felt. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:22 No.133208846 on the train yesterday I got on at gallivan square and was heading down towards ballpark when I saw a bum on the side of the road with a sign. I read it and it said "my skeleton called he wants he rags back" and I looked again at the bum and realized it was the ultimate necromancer! I gasped and tried to turn away but at the next stop who should get on but the ultimate necromancer himself. he sits down next to me and a few of his skeletons come on and stand around holding on to the railings. I'm shaking with fear and the sweat is pouring in torrents down my face and back. the necromancer leans in close to me and whispers in my ear "I've got a reanimated cat that's more p---- than you're ever gonna see." and I screamed, tore my clothes, leaped from the seat, slammed my head and arms on the plexiglass window until it broke, leaped through it from the moving train at sixty miles an hour, landed on the gravel beside the tracks, and tore at my face and eyes with my own hands while a bloodcurdling "DAMN!" forced its way from my throat. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:26 No.133209127 I was fighting some knights in a dank dungeon the other day and l'd just sent the last one toppling backwards into a pit of spikes when one of my dread zombies gestured to the darkness at the other end of the passage and groaned. I cast a light spell and who should it reveal but the ultimate necromancer. a skeleton with a wide pelvis was on his arm and his cane throbbed with dark energies. I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "that iron spike the only thing penetratin up in this fortress of solitude." my zombies thrashed about in agony and my face turned ashen. I moved to bring my staff to bear on him but he waved me away with a flick of his diamond-encrusted fingers. "you can bring the dead back to life but n---- you staff flaccid like a wet french fry." I screamed and the scream reverbated through the passages of the dungeon, bouncing off the mossy stone and returning to me twisted, garbled and from a thousand different directions. I sank to my knees and the ultimate necromancer passed by. from the spike pit, with his dying breath the knight struggled to lift his head and mumble "damn Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:27 No.133209238 I was in the club looking to on the floor. Even I can't bring that s--- back." I felt woozy. With a snap of his fingers, every girl in the joint heeled up behind him. "Let's roll up outta here, ladies. This scene's dead as hell anyway I held my hand to my rapidly thumping heart as The Ultimate Necromancer floated to the door. With one last glance, he flipped an old dusty grimoire at my feet. "Study up on some skills, lil man With trembling fingers, I reached for the book, only to have it jump up and slap me across the jaw. "Lesson one, bitch. You can't teach this s---." The spellbook took off after The Ultimate Necromancer, and his laughter rung in my ears p on a girl when I feel a cold tap on my shoulder. I'm shocked into shame to see it's none other than The Ultimate Necromancer. "Look at your game, rotting there □ Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:30 No.13320947 I stayed home because I was afraid of running into the ultimate necromancer so l watched TV. They were about to award the oscars. Than I saw him. The ultimate necromancer won in the category of best everything. He took his price and stared calmly into one of the cameras. He uttered I have a few words to say these words alone made me nervous Sweating and pantingI tried to grab the remote, but I couldnt find it. ..a little shoutout to a certain wannabe necromancer thats watching right now...who only reanimates the dead because he cant get laid with real girls...' my head starts to hurt. The taste of blood fills my mouth. "... but even the dead reject him.' My vision gets blurry and I start to vomit. '1 heard he dug his grandma out recently.' I start breathing histerically. 'So who knows...' I pee my pants in fear. I cant make a single clear thougt. '...if he lost his virginity to her.' I fell over and tried to gather my last bit of power, but no use The last thing im seeing... hundreds of zombie celbrities looking at the camera, moaning in unison 'damn' Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:32 No.133209606 One time I was praying to god hoping he would forgive me for my sins. The ultimate Necromancer came up from behind and whispered into my ear: 'there is no god. after death your flesh will decay and your corpse will rot. God is dead. and hes my slave now.' I looked up to the sky and heard a divine voice like thunder roar 'DAMN"

/tg/
greentext 4chan 8chan /tg/ traditional games

we were the that guy anon

□ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677063 團困 I recall a group almost ten years ago where "THAT GUY" was a relatively new player to our group and we'd agreed the game was going to be about mid-high fantasy D&D heroics So he shows up with this drunken old man lout of a fighter. Meanwhile we're all playing young kind of weeaboo anime hero types. We tolerated him and how often he'd talk about how drunk, smelly, and generally obnoxious his character was. He would use metagame knowledge to make fun of our characters in character, laughing at us when we'd get knocked out, calling us cowards when we failed our fear checks, and the DM would take pity on us and just kind of give us "let it slide" looks and let us take rerolls. We'd bitch about it between sessions and we sort of grew to hate the guy as a player, His character would go onto long diatribes about dungeons and gold and how useless we were and we'd get into hour long arguments where the DM would constantly have to remind us all to "keep it IC. Anyway this campaign goes on for at least a year, and the storyline is kind of climaxing and a DMNPC gets kidnapped, so after another argument session we get convinced by THAT GUY" to take a suicide mission and storm a castle, and he's basically yelling at us IRL we have to do it. □ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677068 5677063 So when we agree, he leaves the room with the DM for a few minutes, and we assume this is all some metaplot how he's going to f--- us over and steal our s---. They come back in as if nothing had happened. Session continues but we're all on guard, assuming something is up. We storm the castle or whatever, and have a lot of fun, not really noticing that this guy has stopped being so obnoxious. He hasnt once mentioned how his character reeks of whiskey or onions or whatever, though he wastes a good five minutes explaining how his character shaved his beard. Whatever, we just assume the DM talked to him about how it was annoying us. Epic battles ensue and Fast forward to face off with the BBEG, some Lich thing, and the fight isnt going so well We're getting spanked, our Cleric is down, and Mr. Fighter has a haste and out of nowhere he goes, "I rush to Cedric (the Cleric) and slap him 'GET UP YOU COWARD" At this point I groan but the DM is like "Cedric, you're back up with XX HP." Then Mr. "Fighter" goes, "I turn to the Lich and I smite him." And suddenly it clicked for all of us. F----- had been playing a Paladin the entire time. His insults were his lay-on-hands and calling us out as cowards were his Anti-fear aura. He wasn't "That Guy," "we" were "that guy" and we'd just been absolutely out roleplayed for almost a year
□ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677063 團困 I recall a group almost ten years ago where "THAT GUY" was a relatively new player to our group and we'd agreed the game was going to be about mid-high fantasy D&D heroics So he shows up with this drunken old man lout of a fighter. Meanwhile we're all playing young kind of weeaboo anime hero types. We tolerated him and how often he'd talk about how drunk, smelly, and generally obnoxious his character was. He would use metagame knowledge to make fun of our characters in character, laughing at us when we'd get knocked out, calling us cowards when we failed our fear checks, and the DM would take pity on us and just kind of give us "let it slide" looks and let us take rerolls. We'd bitch about it between sessions and we sort of grew to hate the guy as a player, His character would go onto long diatribes about dungeons and gold and how useless we were and we'd get into hour long arguments where the DM would constantly have to remind us all to "keep it IC. Anyway this campaign goes on for at least a year, and the storyline is kind of climaxing and a DMNPC gets kidnapped, so after another argument session we get convinced by THAT GUY" to take a suicide mission and storm a castle, and he's basically yelling at us IRL we have to do it. □ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677068 5677063 So when we agree, he leaves the room with the DM for a few minutes, and we assume this is all some metaplot how he's going to f--- us over and steal our s---. They come back in as if nothing had happened. Session continues but we're all on guard, assuming something is up. We storm the castle or whatever, and have a lot of fun, not really noticing that this guy has stopped being so obnoxious. He hasnt once mentioned how his character reeks of whiskey or onions or whatever, though he wastes a good five minutes explaining how his character shaved his beard. Whatever, we just assume the DM talked to him about how it was annoying us. Epic battles ensue and Fast forward to face off with the BBEG, some Lich thing, and the fight isnt going so well We're getting spanked, our Cleric is down, and Mr. Fighter has a haste and out of nowhere he goes, "I rush to Cedric (the Cleric) and slap him 'GET UP YOU COWARD" At this point I groan but the DM is like "Cedric, you're back up with XX HP." Then Mr. "Fighter" goes, "I turn to the Lich and I smite him." And suddenly it clicked for all of us. F----- had been playing a Paladin the entire time. His insults were his lay-on-hands and calling us out as cowards were his Anti-fear aura. He wasn't "That Guy," "we" were "that guy" and we'd just been absolutely out roleplayed for almost a year

/tg/
greentext /tg/ 4chan 8chan

old men don't belong on the battlefield

□ Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)06:37 No.18173840 So l guess I kind of have a story of a possible furfag. Greentexting cause I suck at writing and this is like my third post ever on 4chan. >DM friend invites me to play some 3.5, asks if I know anyone else that would want to. >Bring my friend who I've known forever. Group is me, best friend, dm, mutual friend, dm's friend. just discovered oriental adventures and wanted to make a samurai, dm ok's it. >DM tells me this is srs business campaign and I should build him to the best of my abilities. "Ok, if you say so." Samurai is a cleaving, tanking m----------- if there ever was one. >My friend makes a sorceror, mutual friend makes a wizard, dm's friend makes a druid. >But not just any druid >"A lithe and fierce cat-folk who shapeshifts and mostly hangs out in jaguar form with his fiersome claws." >Game starts, pretty normal stuff, we're riding on a boat into a town when OH S--- ITS UNDER ATTACK. >Under attack by animated suits of armor no less. Continued in next post. Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)06:38 No. 18173848 >Get off the boat and start f------ them up and helping the guard. >First round of combat, old man wizard gets brought to 0, sorcerer tries to stop him from bleeding out or something. >Druid shapeshifts and "leaps atop the first enemy he sees" >His claws aren't doing s--- against them, I'm cleaving like a boss. >Herp derp our way into the middle of town, still fighting, some roleplay going on. >My samurai doesn't talk unless it's important to the battle. Surrounded by suits of armor, s--- looks grim, obviously supposed to lose this fight, don't really mind the railroading though as long as it's fun. Wizard goes down for like the third time, then the sorcerer and eventually the druid >Druid player takes ten f------ minutes describing the blood on his fur and s--- and how tight his muscles are as he collapses, pretty sure he has a boner. >Somehow manage to beat all the suits with great cleave and lucky rolls. >Turn to the barely conscious party s"old men and kittens don't belong on the battlefield." And that's how the game started.
□ Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)06:37 No.18173840 So l guess I kind of have a story of a possible furfag. Greentexting cause I suck at writing and this is like my third post ever on 4chan. >DM friend invites me to play some 3.5, asks if I know anyone else that would want to. >Bring my friend who I've known forever. Group is me, best friend, dm, mutual friend, dm's friend. just discovered oriental adventures and wanted to make a samurai, dm ok's it. >DM tells me this is srs business campaign and I should build him to the best of my abilities. "Ok, if you say so." Samurai is a cleaving, tanking m----------- if there ever was one. >My friend makes a sorceror, mutual friend makes a wizard, dm's friend makes a druid. >But not just any druid >"A lithe and fierce cat-folk who shapeshifts and mostly hangs out in jaguar form with his fiersome claws." >Game starts, pretty normal stuff, we're riding on a boat into a town when OH S--- ITS UNDER ATTACK. >Under attack by animated suits of armor no less. Continued in next post. Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)06:38 No. 18173848 >Get off the boat and start f------ them up and helping the guard. >First round of combat, old man wizard gets brought to 0, sorcerer tries to stop him from bleeding out or something. >Druid shapeshifts and "leaps atop the first enemy he sees" >His claws aren't doing s--- against them, I'm cleaving like a boss. >Herp derp our way into the middle of town, still fighting, some roleplay going on. >My samurai doesn't talk unless it's important to the battle. Surrounded by suits of armor, s--- looks grim, obviously supposed to lose this fight, don't really mind the railroading though as long as it's fun. Wizard goes down for like the third time, then the sorcerer and eventually the druid >Druid player takes ten f------ minutes describing the blood on his fur and s--- and how tight his muscles are as he collapses, pretty sure he has a boner. >Somehow manage to beat all the suits with great cleave and lucky rolls. >Turn to the barely conscious party s"old men and kittens don't belong on the battlefield." And that's how the game started.

/tg/
8chan 4chan greentext /tg/ traditional games

he died as he lived a bear

Anonymous 09/25/11 (Sun)23:15 No. 16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs -Make bear a rogue, putevery point l can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity ROAR" *shrug
Anonymous 09/25/11 (Sun)23:15 No. 16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs -Make bear a rogue, putevery point l can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity ROAR" *shrug

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bears /tg/ 4chan 8chan greentext traditional games

I don't want to see a lovecraftian wedding

Warlock 5E Anonymous 01/22/15 (hu) 07:46:08 No.52605 >>52633 [Watch Thread Ive noticed something interesting about the Warlocks in 5E, they have patrons that grant them power, and they can even have a "romantic relationship" with these patrons since they are not quite gods One example of an allowed patron is a Great Old One This means my human noble warlock can have a romantic relationship with an eldritch horror. And gods help me l can't think of a reason this would be a bad idea | Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:02:13 No.52612 2252615 >>52618 Wait why can't I seduce a god? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:08:44 No.52615 52618 52612 1. How often do you run into a god? an 2. No one said you can't But the patrons can actually be giving the Warlock power specifically because of a romantic relationship Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:10:00 No.52616 52615 52612 t'd be Why haven't I done this? pells are a packed lunch from your lover. Amazing Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:20:42 No.52625 >>52627 If you hate yourself and want to suffer you can read the Brimstone Angels series by Erin M. Evans, which explores burgeoning relationship between a warlock and a cambion. It's basically Wizards trying to hop on the Twilight money train. Badly Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:22:45 No.52627 52625 Sounds lame, but the idea of my Tiefing warlock being given a packed lunch of spells with a little love note by an arch fiend amuses me to no end What has DnD unleashed with this monstrosity? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:31:56 No.52632 File (hide): 1421937116762 jpg (18.55 KB, 237x229, 237229, 1338795849700 ipa) tg/ what the f--- are you doing? You can't marry eldritch abominations from beyond deep space, there are laws against this kind of thing wut Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:33:13 No.52633-52635 52605 (OP) Dude, that sort of thing happened in like half of Lovecraft's original stories. The relationships between the Deep Ones and the Cult of Dagon in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", the Whatelies cross-breeding with Yog-Sothoth in the "The Dunwich Horror", et cetera Anonymous 01/22/15(hu) 08:36:55 No.52635 File (hide): 14 741 (24.15 KB, 500x312, 125:78, fbz a4b9add377bd3009a69178....ipa) It's Magic. >52633 All I know is I can suck alien d--- fo r magic powers and that's f------ magnificent lain't gotta explainshit.
Warlock 5E Anonymous 01/22/15 (hu) 07:46:08 No.52605 >>52633 [Watch Thread Ive noticed something interesting about the Warlocks in 5E, they have patrons that grant them power, and they can even have a "romantic relationship" with these patrons since they are not quite gods One example of an allowed patron is a Great Old One This means my human noble warlock can have a romantic relationship with an eldritch horror. And gods help me l can't think of a reason this would be a bad idea | Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:02:13 No.52612 2252615 >>52618 Wait why can't I seduce a god? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:08:44 No.52615 52618 52612 1. How often do you run into a god? an 2. No one said you can't But the patrons can actually be giving the Warlock power specifically because of a romantic relationship Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:10:00 No.52616 52615 52612 t'd be Why haven't I done this? pells are a packed lunch from your lover. Amazing Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:20:42 No.52625 >>52627 If you hate yourself and want to suffer you can read the Brimstone Angels series by Erin M. Evans, which explores burgeoning relationship between a warlock and a cambion. It's basically Wizards trying to hop on the Twilight money train. Badly Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:22:45 No.52627 52625 Sounds lame, but the idea of my Tiefing warlock being given a packed lunch of spells with a little love note by an arch fiend amuses me to no end What has DnD unleashed with this monstrosity? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:31:56 No.52632 File (hide): 1421937116762 jpg (18.55 KB, 237x229, 237229, 1338795849700 ipa) tg/ what the f--- are you doing? You can't marry eldritch abominations from beyond deep space, there are laws against this kind of thing wut Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:33:13 No.52633-52635 52605 (OP) Dude, that sort of thing happened in like half of Lovecraft's original stories. The relationships between the Deep Ones and the Cult of Dagon in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", the Whatelies cross-breeding with Yog-Sothoth in the "The Dunwich Horror", et cetera Anonymous 01/22/15(hu) 08:36:55 No.52635 File (hide): 14 741 (24.15 KB, 500x312, 125:78, fbz a4b9add377bd3009a69178....ipa) It's Magic. >52633 All I know is I can suck alien d--- fo r magic powers and that's f------ magnificent lain't gotta explainshit.

/tg/
/tg/ greentext 8chan 4chan lovecraft traditional games

Dice rolling is serious business

□ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:24 No. 181152290 >dm lets people re-roll endlessly until they get all 18's me: Why not just give them all 18s and save the time wasted on rolling? >DM: BECAUSE I LIKE THE F------ SOUND OF DICE ROLLING YOU F------ C--- >he storms into his bedroom, GF follows. twenty minutes later, the DMs GF tells me I have to go now because I have upset him as I walk out and close the door I hear the DM say, "alright so have you guys all rolled 18's yet? if not, lets keep rolling" his voice sounds like he has been crying what the f--- hapened □ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:25 No.181152520 >18115229 Dice rolling is his fetish.
□ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:24 No. 181152290 >dm lets people re-roll endlessly until they get all 18's me: Why not just give them all 18s and save the time wasted on rolling? >DM: BECAUSE I LIKE THE F------ SOUND OF DICE ROLLING YOU F------ C--- >he storms into his bedroom, GF follows. twenty minutes later, the DMs GF tells me I have to go now because I have upset him as I walk out and close the door I hear the DM say, "alright so have you guys all rolled 18's yet? if not, lets keep rolling" his voice sounds like he has been crying what the f--- hapened □ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:25 No.181152520 >18115229 Dice rolling is his fetish.

/tg/
autism /tg/ 4chan dice rolling full retard

D'aww

Dear emper, Hi! I aixt suppose to urite Ho you got so tokeepthis serot ok?I heard some gardian Sayn the won'keigh think yore real themgits and 900d. They sai l been really and uathin behind My eary Singleday.. and cleawing ye ad everyaing wer then maybe yau com briy me Sie went nuny te fight bt whgn moving "move but she did have her spinit stone en scared she's lonely l dowt knou what i's like inside a pirt stone and the exarch wont tell me but I missher a lot l asked dad whatitwa:s like but he doesut tulk to me much anymore since they Put kimin a rafelord He says he's cold alot. Con you being kim yo got ih I dow4 knou how to give s to you so 1.-putting it out the air lock. Soeeally wagie so I betgol fad it rigkauy l dowtgot anything to sive ou for reading this buif yov visit me prowise M) Love A»than
Dear emper, Hi! I aixt suppose to urite Ho you got so tokeepthis serot ok?I heard some gardian Sayn the won'keigh think yore real themgits and 900d. They sai l been really and uathin behind My eary Singleday.. and cleawing ye ad everyaing wer then maybe yau com briy me Sie went nuny te fight bt whgn moving "move but she did have her spinit stone en scared she's lonely l dowt knou what i's like inside a pirt stone and the exarch wont tell me but I missher a lot l asked dad whatitwa:s like but he doesut tulk to me much anymore since they Put kimin a rafelord He says he's cold alot. Con you being kim yo got ih I dow4 knou how to give s to you so 1.-putting it out the air lock. Soeeally wagie so I betgol fad it rigkauy l dowtgot anything to sive ou for reading this buif yov visit me prowise M) Love A»than

/tg/
warhammer 40k anthan the emperor the god-emperor of mankind comic fanart feels dear emper