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jake @callmeshitto the only thing anybody learns while studying abroad is how to delicately weave the fact that u studied abroad into conversation for the next ten years
jake @callmeshitto the only thing anybody learns while studying abroad is how to delicately weave the fact that u studied abroad into conversation for the next ten years

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Sorry about that

Hello Nicole Did you forget that we are in a relationship? You haven't texted me in 2 days Hello? OMG! LOL Sorry it's just that I've been single for so long I forgot we were dating Did you eat yet?
Hello Nicole Did you forget that we are in a relationship? You haven't texted me in 2 days Hello? OMG! LOL Sorry it's just that I've been single for so long I forgot we were dating Did you eat yet?

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Oh...

NyarlathoteplstVorbei @NVorbei ☑ I once went out on a first date with a guy. He asked me how life had been, so I told him I had just recovered from depression that had been so bad I had episodes where I couldn't bathe or eat for days. He responded with "Aw I missed out on sniffing your unwashed musk."
NyarlathoteplstVorbei @NVorbei ☑ I once went out on a first date with a guy. He asked me how life had been, so I told him I had just recovered from depression that had been so bad I had episodes where I couldn't bathe or eat for days. He responded with "Aw I missed out on sniffing your unwashed musk."

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Real

Having a boyfriend is so awesome like there's just a guy in ur house whose job it is to know where countries are and what exactly Watergate was
Having a boyfriend is so awesome like there's just a guy in ur house whose job it is to know where countries are and what exactly Watergate was

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Reminder!

Anthony Carboni @acarboni Reminder: a lot of kids are going online with their first game consoles today! Crush them. Absolutely annihilate them. Feed those idiot children to your ratios. Use their dumb, fumbling hands to build your throne. Make them wish Christmas never came.
Anthony Carboni @acarboni Reminder: a lot of kids are going online with their first game consoles today! Crush them. Absolutely annihilate them. Feed those idiot children to your ratios. Use their dumb, fumbling hands to build your throne. Make them wish Christmas never came.

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Keep that in mind

CUNK ON EARTH Since light travels faster than sound, PH Chemistry people may appear bright until you hear them speak.
CUNK ON EARTH Since light travels faster than sound, PH Chemistry people may appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Checkmate

Ryan Patricks @Ryan_Patricks My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.
Ryan Patricks @Ryan_Patricks My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.

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Doing pretty well

Logan @povertylifestyle Still being single at 32 just means | statistically avoided my first divorce.
Logan @povertylifestyle Still being single at 32 just means | statistically avoided my first divorce.

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Not these days...

Dexter @planet_nerf 1d. 2 There was a time when we respected the computer
Dexter @planet_nerf 1d. 2 There was a time when we respected the computer

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Awkward

my favorite moment of 2019 was ordering a pizza & the girl getting giggly on the phone, then when I went to pick it up the cashier says 'hey this is the guy that called' and I watched the smile on her face fade
my favorite moment of 2019 was ordering a pizza & the girl getting giggly on the phone, then when I went to pick it up the cashier says 'hey this is the guy that called' and I watched the smile on her face fade

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GO HOME

len✩ @len7weets ppl will really b like "omg i can't believe u have to work christmas eve!" while i'm handing them their s* "like??? _) reason susan.go you're the f home L
len✩ @len7weets ppl will really b like "omg i can't believe u have to work christmas eve!" while i'm handing them their s* "like??? _) reason susan.go you're the f home L

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Truly

Chris Scott @iamchrisscott Mariah Carey beginning with "I don't want a lot for Christmas" and then revealing she wants "you" is such a good burn
Chris Scott @iamchrisscott Mariah Carey beginning with "I don't want a lot for Christmas" and then revealing she wants "you" is such a good burn

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rare insults /r/rareinsults insulting insults

I am hiding

dog daddy @broebong stepping out today hide ya girl childish sadbino @datassque ima hide wit her
dog daddy @broebong stepping out today hide ya girl childish sadbino @datassque ima hide wit her

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/r/justfuckmyshitup bad hair terrible hair bad haircuts hair fails fails

Truth

Yoko 秘 @YokoLittie The best time to schedule a work meeting is email
Yoko 秘 @YokoLittie The best time to schedule a work meeting is email

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linkedin lunatics /r/linkedinlunatics linkedin insane people cringe facepalm social media the internet

Styro Steve

Styro Steve @SteveStyro Follow Day one of collecting my girlfriend's hair and put it on Styro Steve.
Styro Steve @SteveStyro Follow Day one of collecting my girlfriend's hair and put it on Styro Steve.

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tihi /r/tihi thanks i hate it

We messed up

Weird History @weird_hist What 1900 people thought life would be like in the year 2000: balloon-supported lake-walking. Hildebrands Deutsche Schokolade Wasserspaziergang im Jahre 2000, jomny sun @jonnysun we've GONE THE WRONG WAY
Weird History @weird_hist What 1900 people thought life would be like in the year 2000: balloon-supported lake-walking. Hildebrands Deutsche Schokolade Wasserspaziergang im Jahre 2000, jomny sun @jonnysun we've GONE THE WRONG WAY

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retro futurism retro nostalgia throwback /r/retrofuturism