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In yet another move that makes working at Twitter under Elon Musk sound like living in Michel Foucault's Panopticon, the contentious new CEO has sent a memo to all employees alerting them that Twitter is about to go "extremely hardcore" and everyone who doesn't want to go "extremely hardcore" will be fired by tomorrow afternoon (with three months severance).
The memo, titled "Fork In The Road," alerts staff that Twitter's "extremely hardcore" workplace will mean long hours at high intensity.
"Only exceptional performance will constitute a passing grade," Musk wrote. Staffers had to "opt-in" to Musk's "extremely hardcore" vision. Anyone who didn't by 5 p.m. Thursday (tomorrow) would be let go.
While Musk's "hardcore" plan sounds draconian at first glance, some commenters considered it was a lifeline for any remaining Twitter employees disgruntled with Musk, who to this point has laid off 3,700 staffers and fired many who criticized him publically or in private Slack channels.
Some of those still working at Twitter have even purportedly taken to sleeping at the office to impress the new boss.
Morpheus offering Neo a pill that will let you sleep at the office or a pill that will give you three months’ salary and the chance to stop working for Elon Musk https://t.co/VojKoPdIxB
— Mark Asch (@MarkAschParody) November 16, 2022
laughing at the concept of 90% of employees taking the godsend of the severance and then this app breaking like a twig when the world cup starts sunday https://t.co/RBuALAMDN8
— gozi (@lightskintiger) November 16, 2022
lmao he doesn't even offer a positive incentive for saying yes. let me kick you in the nuts three times a day forever or take three months severance now https://t.co/QLxULKdY0e
— Takes Of Vesperia (@coolranchzaku) November 16, 2022
Considering Musk's envisioned workplace, even some of the site's most dedicated posters expressed hope that the majority of its staff would opt out of Musk's hardcore future, leaving the billionaire with minimal employees and the inevitable total collapse of his $44 billion investment.
Of course, the phrase "extremely hardcore" reminded a significant number of posters of an iconic Jack Black scene.
Well you're not hardcore. Unless you live hardcore. And the legend of the rent was way hardcore. https://t.co/r9Xh4HcaUo
— 🦦✨America Is Musty✨🦦 (@DragonflyJonez) November 16, 2022
🎶 WELL YOU’RE NOT HARDCORE
(No, you're not hardcore)
UNLESS YOU LIVE HARDCORE
(Unless you live hardcore)
BUT THE LEGEND… OF THE RENT
WAS WAY HARDCORE 🎶 https://t.co/iPv8J7n3vZ— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) November 10, 2022
There is only one man who could convince me to get extremely hardcore pic.twitter.com/XSw0Ucy1SK
— Vinnie Mancuso (@VinnieMancuso1) November 16, 2022
Considering the current trajectory of the site, some are convinced that three months' severance is a wiser financial investment than continuing to work at Twitter. At its current pace, there's a not-insignificant chance Twitter will be operating in three months.
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