Tinder Date Ends With Woman Trapped In Window Retrieving Own Feces

Picture this: you're on a Tinder date. Things are going well. You decide to head back to your date's place for some wine and a documentary about scientology, which is the English version of Netflix and Chill. Things are about to go from well to great, when all of sudden nature calls. You gotta make a pit stop in a stranger's bathroom. You turn the faucet on, let out a lil poop, flush, faucet off and you're back on track. One little problem: the toilet doesn’t flush. What do?

What are your options? Leave it and pretend it doesn’t exist? Tell your date the embarrassing truth and grab a plunger? For one British woman who very recently found herself facing this predicament, the choice was clear: throw it out the window and down into the unknown. Unorthodox, but hey, fortune favors the bold, right?

Unfortunately, for this young lady from Bristol, it didn't. Instead of flying into the unknown, the poop landed in a cozy 18-inch wide, enclosed gap between the first window (which opened from the top, mind) and another window, which did not open at all. By that point, she had realized it was time to come clean with her date.

Upon hearing the story, Liam Smyth, a postgraduate sociology at Bristol University, did his best to do the right thing. Smyth went to grab a hammer to break the first window and try to retrieve the dook from the nook, or a "twilight zone," as he described it. In essence, a "hold my beer" situation.

Smyth's date, being an amateur gymnast, proposed that she could shimmy between the two windows and exfiltrate the lost poop. She attempted to do so. She failed. But not all was lost, as Smyth, who ended up photo-documenting the entire process, was able to capture his date's legendary Tinder misadventure in one phenomenal photograph:

For 15 minutes, Smyth attempted to pull his date out from window purgatory, but it was to no avail.

"But she was stuck," Smyth wrote. "Stuck fast. Try as we might, we could not remove her from the window."

And so the fire brigade had to be called. A group of firefighters came, presumably had a hefty chortle, and got to work by removing the first window and rescuing the poor woman from the gap. …Can't make this stuff up, folks, we shit you not.

In the aftermath of the date night, Smyth found himself with a broken bathroom window, which costs about $400 in U.S. dollars to replace, or just about Smyth’s entire monthly budget. So Smyth took to GoFundMe to help drum up the funds. The campaign was picked up by The Bristol Post, and the press coverage helped the campaign go somewhat viral and become a massive success. In just one day, the GoFundMe has reached ten times its stated goal. Smyth says he will be donating the surplus to two charities, Toilet Twinning, a campaign that provides free toilets to impoverished families around the world, and The UK's Fire Fighters Charity.

As for the date, Smyth told the Post that the pair had met since The World's Literal Shittiest First Date to discuss the GoFundMe. Will they continue to see each other?

“She’s a lovely girl," said Smyth. "I’m not sure what’s going to happen – I’m really busy with my dissertation at the moment but I’d certainly be open to seeing her again."