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+37

Steven Universe - This f------ theory...

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The Sex'theory is stupid and I know that the fusion is a metaphor for wrong for a bunch of reasons, but think about it, as soon as you do it A) changes the tone of the show completely and B) is f------ hilarious Ruby and Sapphire are a pair of sexual deviants who f--- all day. They f--- and f---, it's all they ever do. When Homeworld tells them to get out of each others assholes and get a proper job, they go hang out with a bunch of hippie environmentalist extremists who totally accept their lewd lifestyle Amethyst and Pearl are a dysfunctional, loveless couple who only grudgingly have sex with each other in times of great need. Like when Steven gets eaten by a bird and they need to f--- him out of it. Garnet and Amethyst are some sort of extreme BDSM couple who have violent loud sex around the place while everyone tries to get them to tone it down and eventually they end up breaking the coffee-table and it's really horrible for them and evervone who had to witness it. Alexandrite is a threesome (technically a foursome) with all the unenthusiastic gems in some sort of bizarre f------ bid to convince Connie's parents that they're a normal, good parent to Steven. Somehow it works The gems take an EXTREMELY weird attitude towards sex-ed when they try to teach the pre-pubescent Steven how to f---. I'm not going much further into this or Stevonnie cause it's gross and creepy, but suffice to say the Gems (and Greg, probably) should be in f------ jail Pearl is a shameless cuck who f---- Rose in front of Greg, who is tragically unable to gemfuck due to being a human. I'll give you this, this is pretty similar to what she was intending in-canon Sardonyx is that obnoxiously perfect-seeming couple who go on and on about the great sex that they just had making everyone around them uncomfortable and jealous, until they learn that the f------ is only a way to try and keep a rather fragile and untrusting union together, and only one of them ever really initiated it. Malachite is when Jasper attempts to be a hardass dom and ends up getting pounded into the mattress. Forever No-one wants to f--- Peridot. And Peridot doesn't want to f--- no-one sailorbeefcake EDIT: Peridot is a freak who steals corpses from the morgue and places them in compromising positions. The other gems hate her because she's a sick f---. Peridot gives no s----

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Top Comments

Lt. Chapwisely

Lt. Chapwisely

Sep 25, 2015 at 06:51PM EDT

Technically, Yellow Diamond made the corpses fuck. Peridot's job was to watch.

+20

Takashi.0

Takashi.0

Sep 25, 2015 at 07:55PM EDT

This however just makes Stevonnie go from cute to

+15

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