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5546 Views • Created 7 years ago By B2oo2 • Updated 6 years ago

Created By B2oo2 • Updated 6 years ago

The Pooping Bandit Pt. 1

1287420842102 (438 KB, 1920 1200) gshenal ogis ind be grade 10 mid year 1 of my home room teachers doeant hat 2 weeks ater Bich -thinks I get away with hings too easy s reguiar me hard timi Cals me a litie s--- hal the tm -Get mad, decided to ruin his day Devise plan that I didn't know would grow into something more epic over the years one day 1st moming Breaksme expelled charged, possible jail time Start feeing bad Over hear students talking about how sick and crazy fall guy is plan can wait, name needs to be clearing now pull down pants and hover my ass over his lueury teachers chair push his chair back into desk -bell ring8 pooping bandit mode -sneak over to Principlas office again gives 10 minute lecture before sitting down fan pooping bandit instincts take over I had eyes widen, jumps up Class laughs class laughs for the whole day Warm mid clean up hear foot steps dont see d--- head for the rest of the day Pull up my hoodie and Kenny my face don't lnowwho th -seacher yeas and hands out surprise test mtw I fet proud being called the "pooping bandr m penched half way out the window More? it only get more epic from here jump out and run my ass to the woods bandt -still never Anonymous 11/29113(Fri)13:36:50 UTC-7 No.518648563 Rplies:51 48879 518849124 2 weeks ater s--- pants incident -dcx face teacher stll treats me ike sh 1 month after s--- hitting the fan notice he leaves his Coffee cup on his deak during lunch more oten Teacherng credin about pooping Door bursts open got the bathroom no one around realy surprised I jump up with the rest of the class to go see teachers already blocked off the area spooping bandtinstincts take over -manage to sqeece out three 4-5 inch babies with a pinch of rose on the top surprisingly it almost looks ike a bouquet of s--- s-camp out in my nexd dass, conveniently across d--- faces class saving this one for 2 daysr -Couldn't find out who the new bandit is odecide to one up his noob prank nd out the cafeeria food schedule and case the place head 2 towns over to a pharmacy to buy al the laxatives I can 0 minutes before Next lunch period -students from hallway start piling in d--- faces class to see my masterpiece ock face finally shows up stuif them down toilets to clog 1 do not ike lairs and lakes, warm regards, the pooping bandd lunch staff are having a smoke outside before lunch looks like a healthy meal todary with Justice served for dessert Jantorcomescho People start trying to Sgure out he identity of the notorious pooping bandit More? oleave and go back to class teacher didn't even notice I was gone unch bt unch roomtfor obvious Anonymous 1 128 1 3(Thu:09 03:59 UTC 8 No 518464270 l▼ 61 4 420 쯔51 464611 쯔51NN910 쯔51 4651ad 쯔61 467 1고 쯔51Ma 27-25184724 1 쯔 1 4 7 쑈 us -wees 4 1 month ater my lovely gih my food + the rice pudding iD9 realize Iucked mysef over naxt day -if you are the pooping bandt can you do Friend calls "did you hear what happened yesterday? ltie does he know Iheard the call for justice find said buity's locker pooping bandit mode aclivaled PB got half the schooll it was a f------ disaster! Try not to be a a------ naxt year, with very warm regards, "The pooping bandr dlean up, and leave school next day. locker clean out happens (cause last day of 5ch0 Hear gossip about my form of justice bully leaves school and is never seen all summer Janitoe that was the day the pooping bandt became a beacon of justice Grade 11 only gets more epic from here if you are in the crowd, please stop this behavior or you wil be yadda yadda biah biah pooping bandit has no uncle go over to principles ofice release Justice pellets plant祀 the neat pile I made and atach sicky note 1 am not afraid Challenge accepted. Warm regards, The pooping Bandr dlaan myaelt and leave through window cause of to many people out the door tels the school there wil be a reward for any into related to the incident mfw when things are just geting staned e at pep rally in Gym bandt Say they have him Gym doors bust open Guy wearing nothing but a black cape, bandana mask Tight shorts and rubber boots runs in Crowd goes crazy cheering the bandit gets chased away d sacks of horse justice outside town -Go back to the school in the cover of night letloose one bag of justice all over the shower area and tun on the showers use the other 3 justice filed bags for the lockers afind m0α bandits locker for the best parr sThat was quite the latering display at the rally. Dont let it happen again wth very warm regards. The pooping Bandi clean my self and leave BANDIT GOT THE JOCKSI find out school got closed due to extreme vandaism te pooping bandit reaches legendary status in School at this port Things start to gat more Chalenging from hare autica (50 KB, 505720)gaa8 Ladh sshental he heads to the principles cffice and isn't heard from for the rest of the day You have done me a great service, you gat one favor, with warm regards the PB walking down the road 1F YOURE THEREI HIT THAT ltle shocked how fast he responded but okay Find out he's going through a bad break up with said gi Have bucket Ive been s------- in all week in back yard notice one of the windows open on the 2nd foor put on some rubber oloves and start making bail with the rest of my paint day over hear her Best friends saing a sht bail landing on the bad and rolled onto the foor -lol I have lots of Pooping Bandttales up une last year, aimost got caught..but for now I thinki wil stop right there and continue he sapa another day if I am summoned once again.
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    Anonymous short kings unite..? 131 KB PNG 06/27/24(Thu)07:46:31 No.77970128 >be me, married >wife's entire family is short, her dad is the tallest at around 5'6" >her dad is also the tallest of his siblings/parents >she has a 11 year old brother that we babysit occasionally >kid is really short, even for his age >3'10" last we measured >kid talks CONSTANTLY about how he can't wait to get taller, asks me how to get taller, how to tell when his growth spurt happens >once directly asked me if my wife likes me because i'm tall >obviously tell him that how a guy acts/who he is is more important than what he looks like >don't have the heart to tell him that most girls do prefer tall guys >don't have the heart to tell him that he'll likely never be taller than 5'6" no matter what he does i feel like i'm watching him develop a complex in real time. take care of him once he ends up here venting about women please
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    File: Sauron-Ring-Lord-of-the-Rings.jpg (195 KB, 1200x676) Anonymous 10/28/23(Sat)22:44:56 No.191495492 >>191495647 >>191495764 >>191495822 >>191495879 >>191495896 >>191495973 >>191496533 >>191497122 >>191497963 >>191497969 >>191498250 >>191498402 >>191499029 >>191499177 >>191499481 >>191500904 >>191501875 >>191504061 >starts out with the ring >gets beaten ezpz >5000+ years later >"If he gets the ring he'll be unstoppable" ???
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    : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens
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    File: Ahegao 1280x720.jpg (204 KB, 1280×720) >ahegao video shows up Sister thinks doing the ahegao face is just funny A cutie 06/26/24(Wed)08:53:24 No.920439052 >>920439160 >>920439183 >>920439258 >>920439290 >>920439308 >>920440186 >>920440480 >>920440794 >>920441099 >>920445229 >>920445802 >>920448389 >>920451726 >>920459509 >>920466115 >>920486714 >>920487193 >be me >watching reels with sister >"lol I don't understand why you guys like this face so much" >sister does the face >"Eww don't!" > act disgusted and annoyed >It's funny >We laugh >Oh no >Tomfoolery enters sisters mushy brain >Does the face again the next day to tease me >Turns into a recurrent joke >Oh no >She "pranks" me sending me stuff like 'look at this new mirror I bought!' >Video ends with her doing the face in the mirror >Drooling and everything, she's commited to the bit >Be me, no female contact, otaku >Be my sister, super cute goth-ish tiktok teen >Sister doesn't know i'm kind of a gooner >Still not as easy to see your sister in a sexy way as it seems in p--- >Still kinda hot >Still kinda sad this is the hottest thing that has happened to me
    File: Ahegao 1280x720.jpg (204 KB, 1280×720) >ahegao video shows up Sister thinks doing the ahegao face is just funny A cutie 06/26/24(Wed)08:53:24 No.920439052 >>920439160 >>920439183 >>920439258 >>920439290 >>920439308 >>920440186 >>920440480 >>920440794 >>920441099 >>920445229 >>920445802 >>920448389 >>920451726 >>920459509 >>920466115 >>920486714 >>920487193 >be me >watching reels with sister >"lol I don't understand why you guys like this face so much" >sister does the face >"Eww don't!" > act disgusted and annoyed >It's funny >We laugh >Oh no >Tomfoolery enters sisters mushy brain >Does the face again the next day to tease me >Turns into a recurrent joke >Oh no >She "pranks" me sending me stuff like 'look at this new mirror I bought!' >Video ends with her doing the face in the mirror >Drooling and everything, she's commited to the bit >Be me, no female contact, otaku >Be my sister, super cute goth-ish tiktok teen >Sister doesn't know i'm kind of a gooner >Still not as easy to see your sister in a sexy way as it seems in p--- >Still kinda hot >Still kinda sad this is the hottest thing that has happened to me
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    • 2h (06/26/24 16:02) 77964632 6 Re 2 Img . JPG 39KB (500x500) IMG_1878.jpg 2 Replies >baked potatoes with cheese melted on top Cheap and simple, just how i like it >coat potatoes in olive oil >sprinkle some salt on them >bake them >cut in half horizontally when done >put cheese on open faces >voila What are my fellow robots eating tonight?
    • 2h (06/26/24 16:02) 77964632 6 Re 2 Img . JPG 39KB (500x500) IMG_1878.jpg 2 Replies >baked potatoes with cheese melted on top Cheap and simple, just how i like it >coat potatoes in olive oil >sprinkle some salt on them >bake them >cut in half horizontally when done >put cheese on open faces >voila What are my fellow robots eating tonight?
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    File: IMG_0050.jpg (24 KB, 612x405) Did I hear the voice of god or was it the induced psychosis? Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)06:35:12 No.31493541 >>31493568 >>31493861 >>31494250 >>31494322 >>31495015 >>31496789 >>31498524 >>31498560 >>31498629 >>31498730 >>31499519 >>31503278 >>31504286 >>31507163 >>31508773 >Be Agnostic raised Christian >abstain from weed for 2 months >Sis asks if I want a hit; cave in >Lay on the couch feel high stronger than ever, later learn I was "greened out" >Feel unbearable sense of dread and anxiety like I am being judged >Hear 'I am jehova' in a sort of Michael bay bumblebee-like way, a mixture of different voices speaking words to make one continuous sentence >Realize how my family has become godless over the years >Go to my parents room as anxiety gets worse >Feels like my consciousness is being r---- and I only feel the words 'god is real' >Greenout peaks and every time my mind thinks "what if this is fake", my mind is slapped and shouts "this is real" >Exit peak and suddenly feel peace and I am in the post-rapture and that my dad was my god in the room >Tear up and hug him to say I am sorry for the way I lived my life. Dad is nervous >Realize that my dad isn't god and start feeling like we are about to die in a nuclear fire within minutes >Get an unescapable feeling that I have to physically touch everyone else in the house or they are all going to die and go to hell >Dad holds me down when I try to force my way to my showering mom to get her to touch my hand >Mind permeates 'you will never know if this was real or not' >Mind is fuzzy and go to bed Anyone have similar experiences? Does this sound like a usual message from god? Could it be demonic? I didn't know how to process that experience but it's been months and I don't want to try getting it again, but at the same time I don't want to let it haunt me, unsure if it was real, a drug-induced experienxe, or demonic. Why would a demon want to convince me that god is real and warn me about hell? But then again, why would I see my dad as god and feel the need to touch everyone?
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    Anonymous 06/26/24(Wed)12:19:00 No.762111 40 KB JPG >be me >have German girlfriend >bring her over to a friend's party >Friend pulls up to me >calls me Adolf Rizzler in front of her >does a nazi salute >leaves
    Anonymous 06/26/24(Wed)12:19:00 No.762111 40 KB JPG >be me >have German girlfriend >bring her over to a friend's party >Friend pulls up to me >calls me Adolf Rizzler in front of her >does a nazi salute >leaves
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    >picking up girls at a Taylor Swift Eras tour concert >88,000 girls to choose from Thoughts on my plan?
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    Anon tries alcohol | /r/Greentext

    >be me >hear a lot about how people get addicted to alcohol >"if they're getting addicted it must feel really great" >tastes really bitter >makes you feel confused for a while >no actual good feelings no high no nothing just a lot of mental impariment What's the point of this even? I'm drunk right now and I never want to do this again.
    >be me >hear a lot about how people get addicted to alcohol >"if they're getting addicted it must feel really great" >tastes really bitter >makes you feel confused for a while >no actual good feelings no high no nothing just a lot of mental impariment What's the point of this even? I'm drunk right now and I never want to do this again.
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