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darxx magnusass May 21st 2014, 7:38:30 pm 16 hours ago Source: yoquinto harblkun: despairsfortune asexualrogers: opiwhalestreet yoguinto: okay but a story about an asexual pirate who gets made fun of by the crew until he saves all of them from sirens A pirate for the adventure, not the booty Asexual Pirates are not interested in your booty. oh my god i want that on a bumper sticker CAN NOTI Trying to pilot a ship here. Thanks. 222,360 notes

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pirate asexual siren

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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bleating noises indicating indignation

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o just-shower-thoughts Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed e--------. jpfinch1 I was having a good day. We were all having a good day. churchyardgrim I mean it's kind of not, seeds aren't analogous to sperm, hell, pollen isn't analogous to sperm, plants don't do dimorphic gametes like that. a better analogy would be firing a couple dozen fully-formed babies from a tshirt cannon joshpeck all hail the baby cannon Source: just-shower-thoughts 302,169 notes

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Can't talk, need drink

haviary the fact that the Russian language doesn't have articles makes me go ???222???????? because in a native English speaker's head it sounds like a hilarious shitpost type thing so when you ask someone Тде водка?" it translates to "Where is the vodka?" but in my horrible backwards english brain if I don't see any articles I assume they aren't there, so yelling "ГДЕ ВОДКА" translates to "WHERE VODKA" like some kind of drunken maniac who you definitely should not give vodka to leupagus Speaking as a Russian-American who speaks the language and knows a fair share of Russian-Russians, even if Russians did have articles they would still slam open the door yelling "WHERE VODKA at all times. Source: haviary 52,391 notes

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Wild alternate reality

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Me, holding you at scanner-point in a dark alleyway Hello, sir/madam, would you like to donate to my cause today?

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Why do 18th century Englieh paintinge have so many squirrels in them, and how did they tame them so that they wouldn't bite the painter? 10.76 Inquiry at desk.. Nov. 1948 Can I get a book telling me how to be mistress of ceremonies at a musical o---?" ariety within 5 minutes on telephone: Name of Napoleon's horse of opening of baaobail season in .Y. Date of opening of baseball season in N.Y. Books on human spontaneous combustion Who were the Seven Sutherland Sisters? Telephone call mid-afternoon New Year s Day, 1967: Somewhat uncertain female voice: "I have two questions. The first is sort of an etiquette one. I wentto a New Year's Eve party and unexpectedly stayed over. I don't really know the hosts. Ought I to send a thank-you note? Second, when you meet a fellow and you know he's worth twen- ty-seven million dollars because that's what they told me, twenty-seven illion, and you know his nationality, how do you find out his name?" as 1/2/67 hoodlock digg: This is what people asked the library before Google. (via) The idea that people have somehow become more absurd due to the existence of the internet will never cease to amuse me. I want to know the rest of the story of that lady who had the wild New Year's Eve.

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Because this is absolutely how sexual dimorphism works

ilots

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+81

Tumblr - I second the bumper sticker idea

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

darxx magnusass May 21st 2014, 7:38:30 pm 16 hours ago Source: yoquinto harblkun: despairsfortune asexualrogers: opiwhalestreet yoguinto: okay but a story about an asexual pirate who gets made fun of by the crew until he saves all of them from sirens A pirate for the adventure, not the booty Asexual Pirates are not interested in your booty. oh my god i want that on a bumper sticker CAN NOTI Trying to pilot a ship here. Thanks. 222,360 notes

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Snowsnilf

Snowsnilf

Jun 16, 2018 at 01:22AM EDT

What people forget about sirens is that they allure sailors with their personal desires, not just sex.

When Odysseus hears the Siren's song, his soldiers have to restrain him because the Sirens are singing about his fate. Odysseus doesn't care about sex. He just wants to go home.

There's another Tumblr post that explains this exact topic better, but I can't find it.

+90

False_Skeptic

False_Skeptic

Jun 16, 2018 at 11:38AM EDT in reply to Snowsnilf

+78

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