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Soham @king26_sk your 20s are all about repeatedly rediscovering basic facts like "I feel better when I wash my face" or "eating breakfast is actually a great idea"

This is how Mercedes-Benz advertised their strong headlight. Professor Barclay Cool, now I can actually become blind when driving at night.

mcc @mcc@mastodon.social As a reminder, if you still have Twitter account(s) -I recommend you delete them before November 15, at which poin a TOS that gives Twitter permission to scrape your posts for "Al" comes into effect. My read (NOT A LAWYER) Is that fully deleting the account is the way to avoid them getting this permission. -If you're at all considering that I recommend you request a Twitte archive **THIS SECOND**, as it takes about 24 hours to be emaile to you. Details/links: mastodon.social/@mcc/113324547... Nov 12, 2024, 12:26 AM Web 256 boosts 173 favorites mcc @mcc 10h * Note that even if you delete your Twitter you can still keep your posts online, by using an archive -> html tool, such as this one which I used for my own archive: github.com/mcclure/twitter-arc... (This is a fork of Darius's tool with support for >2GB archives. The documentation could use another editing pass, I apologize for this.). mcclure/twitter- archiver Make your own simple, public, searchable Twitter archive 80 4 30 3 Contributors Issues Stars Forks GitHub GitHub - mcclure/twitter-archiver: Make your own simple, public, searchable Twitter archive Make your own simple, public, searchable Twitter archive - mcclure/twitter-a... 3

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"billionaires are good because they give some of their money to charity"

Senior Oops Engineer @ReinH so I finally figured out what that "billionaires are good because they give some of their money to charity" tweet reminded me of Traduire le Tweet I met a girl crying outside a mall. I asked her what's wrong, she said she lost 200$. So I gave her 40$ from the 200$ I picked up at the entrance. When god blesses you, you must bless others. #funny #humor #jokes #lol #comedy 7,941 notes 5:08 AM · 30 déc. 2019 · Twitter Web App 13,8 k J'aime 4,9 k Retweets

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do you have to do that the angel drinking whole milk in the kitchen at 2AM never mind

Jared Pechacek @vandroidhelsing me: do you have to do that the angel drinking whole milk in the kitchen at 2AM: me: never mind 4:20 AM · Dec 16, 2019 · Twitter Web Client

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ever see a female character being set up as the romantic interest for a dude and you already feel bad for her

Chwistopher @Loudwindow you ever see a female character being set up as the romantic interest for a dude and you already feel bad for her 12:43 AM · 1/12/20 · Twitter Web App 2,375 Retweets 8,887 Likes

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guys joining the military is the male equivalent of fuck this shit i'm gonna be a stripper

guys joining the military is the male equivalent of "f--- this s--- im gonna be a stripper" 8:06 PM · 12/30/19 from Lubbock, TX Twitter for iPhone 47.2K Retweets 238K Likes xp* @vicodinchild 2d Replying to @97Vercetti yeah but one is a noble career, which takes a lot of bravery and courage, and the other is the military O 26 O 11.7K 271,035

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Forums vs. Social Media

melty blood for dogs @NONBINARY i think the biggest thing we lost when forums fell out of popularity is the ability for some kid to sign up for some website, make mistakes, be a dumbass kid, then learn from their mistakes and just abandon that account and start fresh as a better person 9:46 AM Jan 5, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 4.6K Retweets 24.1K Likes

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/r/ambien twitter poll

Got hungry on it last night and apparently went to Twitter for advice lol should i jake fhe f------ toast NOWO Deelicious 15% 62% Sexy 23% toaster machine 13 votes • 6 hours 45 minutes left

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someone said that your customer service voice is just baby talk for boomers and i can't get over that

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classic misdirection

M@thew @TweetPotato314 murderer: run if you want to live me: *starts sprinting* murderer: not like toward me tho

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begone you foul demon cotton eyed joe, thy grasp faded on this plane long ago, from whence you came there you shall go, i seal thee away, cotton eyed joe

debt grips @slimerobots woke up midflight, made this note, immediately went back to sleep begone you foul demon cotton eyed joe, thy grasp on this plane faded long ago, from whence you came, there you shall go, i seal thee away, cotton eyed joe Modified: 9:10 PM/Created: 9:08 PM 6/28/17, 8:16 PM 3,793 Retweets 6,888 Likes

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They would drink tea with milk in it without being British

the drake gatsby @DrakeGatsby Me: Man T-Rexes looked so col Scientist: Nah actually they looked like giant idiot birds Me: Oh bummer. They were great hunters tho Scientist: There's evidence they were scavengers Me: Ok maybe just stop ruinin- Scientist: They wore socks with sandals 9:22 AM · 1/4/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Twitter 2019 vs Tumblr 2014

ichibankasuga "2019 twitter is just 2014 tumblr" now you see a lot of elements of this ARE true, but what youre missing is that 2014 tumblr, however disastrous it was, was contained. 2019 twitter is all of that unmitigated horror spilling over into a far more quote unquote normal site ichibankasuga exeggcute replied to your post: "2019 twitter is just 2014 tumblr" now you s... Aa making a bad post on tumblr in 2014 (as we all did often and with gusto) rarely (if ever?) got you on, like, a talk show or something. but making a bad post on twitter means someone writes an article about you in wired magazine three months later

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"when the notre-dame cathedral burned for 15 seconds my entire timeline was in shambles.. EVERYONE on this fucking website was heartbroken. australia (THE COUNTRY) has been on fire since SEPTEMBER & the entirety of twitter is arguing about whether or not

kobi @lovehatelove when the notre-dame cathedral burned for 15 seconds my entire timeline was in shambles.. EVERYONE on this f------ website was heartbroken. australia (THE COUNTRY) has been on fire since SEPTEMBER & the entirety of twitter is arguing about whether or not adam driver is attractive. 6:58 PM - Jan 2, 2020 - Twitter for iPhone 52K Retweets 147.4K Likes

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Twitter / X - Are bernie bros harassers? the victims share their stories

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