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The Three-Billion Year Old Carpoomer Only known as an urban legend among deep-sea divers Is as old as life itself on Earth Feelers make a weird popping sound Eats anything that comes in contact with its feelers "Oh god l'm gonna BLOOP" Possibly related to the Portuguese Man-Of-War? Is actually a colony of millions of organisms Can only stay alive by constantly consuming everything it sees Covers the entire ocean floor Someone tried to film it, it ate the camera How can it possibly eat enough to keep itself alive with how big it is? How many *Bloops* Someone heard Just how deep is the ocean if this thing is in the way? are there? it sing

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The Three-Billion Year Old Carpoomer


Created by Brad Aug 02, 2020 at 08:40PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Oomer Wojaks

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"They're our greatest ally!" Is physically incapable of recognizing his own best interests Has never heard of USS Liberty in his life The 65-year-old Suppoorter Gives his entire pension to Israel "OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SUPPOOOORT!" Unable to maintain erection unless he thinks about young men dying in the Middle East Thinks Ben Shapiro is the smartest man in the world "We've gotta support them or the bad guys will come attack us!" "God curses those who curse Israel!"
"Maidenless" The 19-Year-Old PHRAAAAAAAASER "My brother in christ" "Terminally online" "Hellworld" "Cry more" "Shitpost" "Delete your account" "Cope" "Normal world" "Seethe" B "Rare [...] W" "Whatever helps you sleep at night" "Touch grass" "Horny on main" "Hellsite" "Ratio" "Lolbertarian" "If only your mother knew" "[...] will never feel the warmth of a woman"
"Is that a heckin repost!?" $0/hour The Remoover Does it for free "I'M GONNA REMOOVE" Takes reddit moderation way too seriously NOOOOO!!!! DID YOU JUST POST SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT MY PARASOCIAL DADDY? OH GOD I'M REMOOVING!
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Uploaded Aug 02, 2020 at 08:40PM EDT

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Oomer Wojaks

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cryptid, the black carpet, diveranon

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