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YOu WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE A WOMAN. dandraco: hollyoakhill: do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because l'm going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class. The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time "forced him to" According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope's nickname translated literally means "Terrible pope". And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic s--- that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.) At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what's up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there. This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing. This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that p----- everyone off. And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on f------ steroids. My teacher described the women's bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on." And then there is this: Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn't like it. Adam and Eve naked? That's cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died. And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say "Those straight men are happy" 'll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls. And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

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mysharona1987 Follow Sep 9, 2024 Connie @iamthedunce Replying to @Gavin_F_Brewis Vampires don't live in castles, Count Dracula lived in a castle because he was a count, not because he was a vampire. iamnmbr3 Follow 3d ago this feels like a sensitivity training for how to not commit micro aggressions against vampires in your workplace 47,810 notes

vangObus Follow gameshow called 'pride or prejudice' in which the contestants are presented with a gay joke and have to guess if it Iwas made by a queer person or a homophobe e-the-village-cryptid Follow the contestants are all vaguely liberal straight people who are desperately uncomfortable with the entire concept

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YOu WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE A WOMAN. dandraco: hollyoakhill: do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because l'm going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class. The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time "forced him to" According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope's nickname translated literally means "Terrible pope". And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic s--- that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.) At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what's up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there. This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing. This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that p----- everyone off. And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on f------ steroids. My teacher described the women's bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on." And then there is this: Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn't like it. Adam and Eve naked? That's cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died. And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say "Those straight men are happy" 'll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls. And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

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