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Anon likes shopping carts | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Jan 14, 2021 at 09:23PM EST
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![: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)08:20:40 No.102656591 45188D7700000578-0-image-a-18_1507291424887[1].jpg 53 KB JPG >Now, Cocaine >get the packet >knife, sharp >cut yes? >look at that color >rustic, simple >now, pound note >roll, tight >now this is my favorite >SNIFFF >f--- me >>102656784 # >>102658699 # >>102658907 # >>102662412 # >>102663687 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/991/113/76d.jpg "Gordon on gear. | /r/Greentext")
![File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18(Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] | > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "Ill suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/991/049/01f.jpg "Anon goes to prison | /r/Greentext")
![File: A4E57907-9815-46E6-BC13-8(..).jpg (261 KB, 840x562) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)07:50:31 No.844796744 [Reply] >be me >truly_unhinged.jpg >decide to purchase oil futures contract >accidentaly buy a barrel of crude oil shipped directly to my house >not know what to do with it for 2 weeks >super hot one day >get overheated as s---, decide to drink >get so drunk I grab my funnel and pump 2 gallons of crude oil into my ass >in the moment I wanted to save it for the right moment >thought it would be cool to s--- a f--- ton of oil all at once >get side tracked and watch finding Nemo >get to the part with the little squid girl in nemos school >arousedasfuck.png >realize my true purpose in life >uber to my local swimming pool >there are 3 pools but of course I decide to go to the one with the most children in it >still be drunk as f--- >sit down in the most populated area >start f------ swimming around like a big squid >moms are looking at me in confusion and disgust >one of them starts walking to the front desk, clearly going to call police >'it's time" >scream "IM GONNA INK" in the same voice I would have if I was mid orgasm >s--- 2 gallons of crude oil into the kiddie pool >children surface from the water visibly blinded and covered in my a--- oil >children screaming and crying all around >oil has spread farther than I ever imagined it would >make my escape >known as local squid man forever](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/990/939/cb2.png "Anon buys crude oil | /r/Greentext")
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Greentext Stories - Anon likes shopping carts | /r/Greentext
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![File: 1524482768700.png (6 KB, 225x225) O Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)21:19:22 No.46118484 [Reply] >12 years old >go to stay with half sister a state away for a couple of weeks >while there some of her friends come over to play cards and s---, they bring their 15 year old daughter with them >we instantly hit it off, spend time playing Primal Rage and Kirby Super Stars on SNES and watching cheesy disaster movies on ABC >last day there we end up going to this amusement park type place with laser tag, bumper cars, those stationary rail ride type deals, etc. >have the time of my life >distinctly remember her grabbing my hand during the rail ride >later on, we're sitting on a bench eating ice cream >she's leaning on me, and tells me she really likes me, and asks me if I like her back >being 12 and barely having hit puberty I completely spill my spaghetti and tell her that yeah she's a good friend >...oh >she instantly moves away >becomes super awkward >we barely speak on the way home >after we get back her parents come pick her up and I never see her again >I leave and never bring her up again Now here's the kicker >years later, now 26 >my half sister moves down to my area, haven't seen her in years >decide to go see her and catch up >decide to bring up the girl, wondering if maybe her family had kept in touch >turns out none of that happened, it was all an elaborate dream I somehow convinced myself was real >had spent the entire time cooped up in the room playing video games by myself and only came out to eat and there was no such amusement park I somehow cucked myself in a dream. I am broken. I don't even know how to process this.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/287/011/8eb.jpg "Anon has a really good imagination | /r/Greentext")
![f---- Anonymous 12/11/22(Sun)09:24:51 No.890564073 [Reply] ► >>890564521 >>890564578 >>890564625 >talking to girl I know >she's not very into me but I like her >we share a lot of opinions, she seems pretty smart >decide to compliment her >"hey, you're pretty smart, >not really thinking about it, end the sentence with: >for a woman." I can't think of anyone to blame for this but you](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/493/959/855.jpg "Anon had joker moment | /r/Greentext")
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Uploaded Jan 14, 2021 at 09:23PM EST
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