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: Anonymous times you blew it 02/22/21(Mon)16:13:51 No.6244953- >be me >when i was 21 i used to go to this mall and drink coffee from time to time at one place >really cute girl working there >some time later >really attractive girl stops me >she seems super excited 53 KB JPG >hey, arent you that guy that used to drink coffee some time ago at that place i used to work >uhhh i dont know let me think...mmm no maybe its somebody else i cant remember >really ?you really look like him >nah maybe its somebody else >she seems super dissappointed >go about my day >some time later >remember she was the girl from that place i used to drink coffee at >realise she prob liked me >realise i blew a sure thing to have a gf

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon didn’t have any father figures | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)13:19:25 No.848119681 >be 24yr old male >raised by mom since birth >mom was wary of men after my dad splooged and peace'd out >zero male figures in my life from ME age womb - 18 >have zero maintenance skills, only 96 KB JPG know how to cook and clean REALLY well >present >my bathtub faucet breaks >FUUUUUCK. IF ONLY A SWIFFER DUSTER COULD FIX THIS. >spend 2.5hours googling "parts of a bathtub" "bathtub faucet parts" "how to fix a bathtub" etc etc >FINALLY find the correct video >person has all the pieces I have, looks like I'm gonna fix my first household item! >thoroughly watch video >attempt to fix tub >doesn't fix it, starts getting p----- off >decides to just jam all the pieces into the faucet hole, f--- it, it'll do something >tub works BRIEFLY then all the pieces fall out and and the handle breaks off >"f--- it" >call a repairman >mfw I spent 20 minutes explaining to him how I nearly fixed my own tub before f------ it up even worse as water blasts his face

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Anon contemplates suicide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/21(Tue)00:10:24 No.845774757 >be me >teenage years > antisocial and depressed as f--- >family and friends were very supportive >few weeks go by >not depressed anymore 98 KB JPG >acting more energetic and lively because I no longer want to shoot my head off >mom walks by >"what the f--- has gotten into you lately anon?" >sister tells me to stop bothering her when I try to talk >friends stop hanging out with me >become depressed again >cycle continues until junior year of school >wondering why I didnt just kill myself in the first place.

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Anon and his typo-ridden greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Spooky stories 01/27/21(Wed)19:25:56 No.62053745 Friend told me this story that aoparently happened to his uncle.or whatever >Go to bed >Wake up in the middle of the night because of strange noises in his bedroom >Turn bedside lamp on 42 KB JPG >There's a woman with no facial features other then her mouth standing in his room >She's wielding a big ass knife >He's so scared he can't even scream >She gets on his bed and sits on top of him >Sticks the knife bedside table >Turns the light off and proceeds to f--- the s--- out of him >He wakes up in the morning thinking it was all a dream >There's still the knife's hole in the bedside table He was a bit of a stoner and a drinker, but never did anything other than weed and booze. He quit drinking shortly after that.

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Anon buys vegetables | /r/Greentext

8h (2/24 3:13) 15644003 20 Re 8 Img PNG 875KB (720 x 723) 6 Replies >try to buy some veggies >get randomly selected to battle supermarket lobster >all the workers and customers stop dead in their heels to watch us duke it out >all the black people take their phones out and start screeching >all the girls give me a doubtful stare and giggle amongst themselves while staring at me so f------ embarrassing, and people wonder why I order my groceries online. ...

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Anon's friend is a flusher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous "that guy" stories 02/22/21(Mon)07:10:45 No.62444259 This was a decade ago but it still haunts me >be me, 19, uni student >visit friend in his new apartment >he's also 19, just moved out his parents' place >play vidya with him 14 KB JPG >have to take a s---, use his bathroom >can't find tp >m----------- used it up and didn't replace the roll >f------ children living on their own for the first time >luckily got some tissues with me, use those >get back to vidya >"yo mate, you ran out of tp" >"nah I don't need any" >"what do you mean you don't need any?" >"I just flush without looking." >awkward pause >... >... >WHAT?! >m----------- thought tp was just there to cover your s--- so you don't have to look at it while you flush >says he never looks back at his s---, that's weird >says he saves money >my f------ face when

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Anon goes to public bathroom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/19(Thu)10:31:39 No.54480871 >be in public bathroom >it's empty >l can finally take a dump >go to one of the stalls and start cranking a fat s--- out of my ass >turd is 90% out of my a------ 125 KB JPG before the bathroom door bursts open >I hear punching and grunting >I look under my stall and see 2 pairs of feet >they are beating the s--- out of each other >suddenly hear a mirror shatter and hear one of the guys fall to the ground >bathroom is silent except for heavy breathing >feel my turd disconnecting from the mainland >f--- no f--- no f--- no >turd plops into water >echos >heavy breathing stops

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Anon is being cucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/21(Wed)16:52:12 No.62473440 >girl I love is concerned with me falling in love with someone else >gets upset >meanwhile sexting other guys this is so conflicting, she doesn't reciprocate my love but at the same time she doesnt want me to 92 KB JPG get romantically involved with other girls. I dont understand, I'm losing my mind.

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Anon and his friends troll their teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/21(Mon)16:19:30 No.848016212 >be me >group of friends who troll online for fun >uber liberal teacher >been wearing Hillary stuff since first day of school >we all get maga hats >hand them out all over school day after the election >she comes into her class >almost everyone is wearing maga hats >she faints >assistant principal comes in >takes all the hats away >teacher's pet tried to blame it on me and my friends >nobody could prove it Best $100 I ever spent Can't believe that was 4 years ago already

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Anon is dreaming | /r/Greentext

1h (2/23 19:07) · 27742938 10 Re · 1 Img · PNG · 13KB · (657 × 527) 8 Replies Did I f--- up? >dreaming >encounter glowing old man with beard >he looks important >>Anon E. Muse, tell me why you seek the paranormal and desire magic powers >being to panic >ask myself why I even bother browsing /x/ at all if I don't know something so fundamental >the man is waiting, glowing ever brighter >finally come to the only conclusion I can think of >>I seek the paranormal so that I can brag about it on an anonymous imageboard. I seek not to use any magic powers for either good or evil, I only seek to use it for my own childish goals. >he laughs >l wake up

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Anon is the world's greatest hacker | /r/Greentext

File: 7IXz6ej.png (648 KB, 610x915) Anonymous (ID: us 11XD6Q) 06/06/14(Fri)17:30:27 No.549923098 >be me >world's greatest hacker >#1 on FBI's most wanted list >but they can't track me down because i always delete my browser history >just got done hacking entire internet >now every user in the world gets redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com >epic lulz >one of my hackerbros messages me on AIM >tells me that 420_1337_h4x0r_420, my #1 hackerbro, has been arrested >they were able to backtrace his IP because he forgot to browse on incognito mode >word on the street is he's already ratted me out >look out window >FBI helicopters circling overhead >hah! those bastards don't know who they're dealing with >open up internet explorer >get redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com >oh yeah, forgot about that >run disableblackpeoplemeet.exe >now it's time for some world class hacking >go to fbi.gov/hack >f---, there's a password >something appears on the bottom right corner of my screen >it's that goddamn talking paperclip >"it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you like help?" >f--- off clippy, i'm trying to work here >"it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you-" >click the little f----- just to make him shut up >clippy gives me the password >guess he's not so bad after all >now that i'm in, i go to fbi.gov/hack/helicopters >"congratulations, hacker!" you now have full control of the FBI's helicopters! what would you like them to do?" >"A) turn left B) turn right C) ascend D) descend E) explode" >go with option E >ВOOM, baby >flaming helicopters fall from the sky >mfw

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anon goes to sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/21(Wed)00:40:18 No.848157265 >be me >at home about to go sleep >dad tells me has to drill a small hole in my wall so he can put a wire through it >"ok" 39 >he drills the hole and puts a wire through it 202 KB PNG >l put a sock in it to patch up because there was some air coming through >go to sleep >wake up next morning >sock is gone >can't find it Who the f--- stole my sock

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It worsens and worsens, anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)09:43:34 No.848099689 random amongus Spoonful sus amongus normie Red ironic among us *fartsoundeffect* Polish_20210221_155410237.jpg 89 KB JPG >go to the internet >day ruined 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)09:44:50 No.848099754 >>848099689 (OP)_# >wake up >day ruined 21sthumor shitpost status

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Greentext Stories - Anon is slow | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous times you blew it 02/22/21(Mon)16:13:51 No.6244953- >be me >when i was 21 i used to go to this mall and drink coffee from time to time at one place >really cute girl working there >some time later >really attractive girl stops me >she seems super excited 53 KB JPG >hey, arent you that guy that used to drink coffee some time ago at that place i used to work >uhhh i dont know let me think...mmm no maybe its somebody else i cant remember >really ?you really look like him >nah maybe its somebody else >she seems super dissappointed >go about my day >some time later >remember she was the girl from that place i used to drink coffee at >realise she prob liked me >realise i blew a sure thing to have a gf

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