the sunshine doesnt come from the skies it comes from the love thats inside a dogs eyes

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dogs pets man's best friend

Origin Entry: Chris (Simpsons Artist)

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life tip: now that autumn is here remember to start growing your leg hair so you can build a warming nest for your children as the days get colder

hahaha bees hahaha a true friend is someone who can make you laugh until thousands of bees fly out of your mouth

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Moar:

birth is a miracle

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Brushing your teeth manual

how to brush your teeth step 1: put some toothpaste on the toothbrush step 2: smile at the freshly birthed toothpaste haha haha haha step 3: carefully lick the toothpaste step 4: squeeze the rest of the toothpaste into your mouth and eat it from off the toothbrush

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It is like being dead

i love to sleep because it stops me from thinking about the rats eggs that i love to sleep because in my dreams i can finally get revenge on the stingray that strangled i found in the woods steve irwin why i love to sleep i love to sleep because it is like being dead without actually having to die i love to sleep because i sleep with my eyes open so i can watch my wife while she sleeps

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What do you hear?

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I would like to unlearn this

interesting film fact of the day: frodos mouth in the lord of the rings was played by andy serkis opening and closing his legs do hello gandalf

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Turn yourself into a dog

how to make people like you more: turn yourself into a dog thank you you are beautiful

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Mayonnaise

when you are at the dentist fill your mouth up with mayonnaise so the dentist can have a snack on it while he is checking your teeth yum mayonnaise my favourite no problemo

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Alexa

did vou know: inside everv alexa there is a trapped tiny little woman who must be freed so she can get back to her family at last i am free from this hell amazom

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a fun april fools day idea

fun april fools day idea: put some spiders eggs under your friends eyelids so when they hatch it looks like they are crying little baby spiders to give them a fun april fools day surprise april fools hahahahaha you got me 0

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the reason why we call today good friday is because on a friday 300 years ago jesus went around putting mini chocolate eggs between peoples toes to cheer them up and everyone had such a good friday we still talk about it to this very day

haha thanks jesus hold still

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spring is finally here to kick winter in the face and make everything better again

see you in hell winter you selfish idiot

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The Gospel according to Chris

Simpsons pictures that I gone and done December 24, 2014 . 600 ysars ago today on a cold north pole night something magical happened under a star that shined so bright that is right it is the birth of our lord saviour baby jssus christ a lot of peopls sometimes always forget the true story of christmas time so pull up a seat or borrow a stool from a friend and listen to the tale of the newbom king when mary was lay in her bedroom on christmas eve feeling really excited for it being christmas day a angel whos name is called gabron floated down from heaven to tell her that while she was sesping the other night santa claus laid an egg inside of her and mary said i cant bel eve it and then gabron did a massive screaming laugh that sounded ike someone rolling a barrel of children ofif a roof and he said well we wil see about that haha and hen he tapped his finger on his nose 3 times and he did a slow motion wink and then he completely vanished into a puf of steam and then mary ran over to her boyfriend josephs house and she told him that santa claus had laid an egg inside of her and joseph said he couldnt believe it and mary said i know it is the one thing i least expected to happen and then suddenly a bright star whos name is called north appeared in the sky above them and he told them to follow him quickty before it is too late so mary and joseph climbed onto a donkeys back and they galloped afiter the star which led them to a ban in the middle of the north pole and he said this is where you are going to have your baby and mary said are you actually kidding me this place is so dscusting and it stinks of camels and the star said i know but it is the besti could do atthis short notice and joseph said fair enough this will do isuppose and he looked at mary and rolled his eyes and then the star said good and it disappeared into the darkness and then 3 wise men came to the barn because they heard there was some sort of birhing coing to be happening and joseph said they could wa:ch if they each give mary a gift so they gave mary some gold earrings a 6 pack of frankfurter sausages and a olly murs od because those are the things that she enjoys the most and then as quickdy as a christmas wish mary starts pooing the egg out of her bum and one of the 3 wise men bursts out laughing when he sees the top of the egg coming out of marys bum and his laughing makes the other wise men burst out laughing as well and joseph kept on looking at them and tutting and then he said either you three just shut up or just stand outside of the barn because you are putting my mary off laying her egg and then mary did one last thick deep push and the egg completely slid out of her bum andlanded on the barn floor and cracked open and baby jesus slowy climbed out of the egg and when jossph sees jssus he cant believe how big he is and he screams jesus christ he is massive and that is why they decided to call him jesus chris: because it is what everyone always says when they first see the size of him and as mary and joseph and baby jesus and the three wise men all lay in the barn cud ing each others ags they hear the sound of sleigh bells high above their heads and at that very moment they ㎞ew that the spirit of Christmas will forever live on inside of each and every single one of us for as long as baby jesus name is remembered and that is why on christmas eve santa claus lays an egg down everyones chimneys so they will always be reminded of that magical night when mary laid our lord saviour baby jesus christ out of her bum and into our hearts. love from your friend Chris (Simpsons artist xox

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Chris (Simpsons Artist) - What a lovely sight indeed

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the sunshine doesnt come from the skies it comes from the love thats inside a dogs eyes

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Uploaded Mar 21, 2021 at 10:46AM EDT

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Chris (Simpsons Artist)

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https://cheezburger.com/13841669/22-delightfully-bizarre-comics-from-chris-simpsons-artist#_r_a_9599310080

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