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: Anonymous 09/22/21(Wed)01:55:19 No.65470426 >walking to the grocery store after working out >check myself out in the reflection of a random booth thingy >say out loud "you're genuinely the most beautiful person I've ever seen" to myself 59 KB JPG >hear female voices inside >one says "omg thank you!" the other goes "umm shes **I! >realize to my horror what Ive done >begin walking manually F--- I thought it was closed

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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School Prank - Anon Has A walkie talkie - fellow Anons do you have any good pranks? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:45:46 No.863547048 Yes. >Teachers use walkie talkies at lunch time to communicate >Friend brings walkie talkie to school >Finds the channel teachers are using >They start saying random s--- >My turn >Started talking like a cop in distress >All units we've got a 10 - 4 situation on the rugby field >I repeat all units, that's a 10 - 4 situation on the rugby >F----- teachers coming running in expecting some serious s--- do be going down >Literally nothing happening >Then we start watching the teachers and making fun of them over walkie talkie >Eventually get caught >Get sent to principals office >Sitting outside waiting for him >Wait for 5 or 10 minutes >He never shows >l just walk home and skip the rest of the day >Letter gets sent home >Dad literally doesn't give a s--- because it was just some teenagers f------ around and no one got hurt

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Anon doesn’t tip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)19:15:35 No.15680993 >go to store to pick up pizza >about to sign receipt >see they circled in 10% tip >change it to 0 >cashier rolls her eyes, hands me the pizza 31 KB JPG >hear one of them say whisper wow, did he really put 0' as l'm walking out Did I do something wrong? It's not like they delivered the pizza to my house. Should I have tipped in this situation?

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Anon disappears | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 7zitKDez) 09/22/21(Wed)11:18:48 No.340271583 >you take a loạn for 3k >don't pay it >lose credit score, lose your house, lose your belongings, lose your job, get garnished and arrested %24 123R haha money printer go brrrr 57 KB JPG >US GOV takes out Thirty Trillion loan (30,000,000,000,000) >don't pay it back >lol ill just raise the ceiling so i dont have to pay it lol When are THEY gonna come collect from the US?

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Anon’s mom had a hard time after the divorce | /r/Greentext

>Be me 13 year old anon, dad left for a younger version of my mom >I think it was a huge shock. Came out of nowhere. She didn't fight him on the property settlement or anything. >He did alright. Ended up in a bigger house. Mom couldn't afford our old 22 KB JPG house. She ended up in a cheap apartment complex >Used to go over to my dad's, but my stepmom had a baby. So I don't get invited as much. Mostly stay with my mom. >I tried to be there for mom. But she needed more than I could give. >Dating was tough. Mom didn't have a lot of time and money to spend on herself. She was always pretty to me, but looking back I get why it was hard for her. >She ended up with guys who would sleep with her for a while. I guess she made it easy and hoped they would stay. They just used her. >lt used to make me mad. But I was a kid. >l'd meet them at breakfast. Just like we're meeting now. So you and I are a lot alike. >Anyway, I'm the guy who came in your mom

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Anon takes their shot | /r/Greentext

File: 301019862047211.png (181 KB, 390x389) Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)10:54:08 No.863521600 >>863521669 >>863521907 >>863 >Be me >Kinda fancy a girl >Have a dream about her where I fall in love >Feels so real.jpg| >Wake up >Feel like crap >A few hours later >Have a revelation >"| should just ask her out" >NOTHING CAN STOP ME >Go back home >Message her >Still hasn't opened And here we are now. Is this fate? Am I stupid? So many emotions ahhhhhh. Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)10:55:43 No.863521669 >>863521600 (OP) You're in love anon, enjoy! Also, checkd

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No fatties in the kiddie pool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)14:16:14 No.863530051 > Take toddler to local pool > playing in the kiddie pool for kids age 2-5 > hear a noise SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP > this f----- fat p------------, probably between 10 or 12 is lumbering towards the pool > I mean, this kid has to be like, 200 pounds already > with this idiotic, gleeful look on his face he just belly flops into the water >I grab my 2 year old out of the way just in time to avoid getting crushed beneath his wobbling, gelatinous bulk > "HEY YOU FAT F---, WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING, YOUR FATASS JUST ALMOST KILLED MY KID" > He bursts into big, fat, slobbery tears because I called him fat > his mom and dad come waddling up, they are both morbidly obese as well, easily 300 pounds each > they demand I apologize to their son for calling him fat > I tell them that the kiddie pool is for toddlers, not a refuge for escaped livestock and to gtfo of my face > get banned from the pool > no regrets

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Instant Buyer’s Remorse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why is life so cruel frens? 09/20/21(Mon)21:41:26 No.65461769 >be me 4/10 18 overweight >decide i will sell my soul to the devil >google how do i sell my soul to the devil? >print 5 pages on how to do the ritual >when the time comes I decide to sell it for a gf >ohshit.jpg 113 KB JPG >late for work again >get to work and immediatly take a vape break cause autism >contemplate if i should drink the mop cleaner tonight so i can finally die >phone buzzes >qt 3.14 from class >"hey anon want to get lunch next tuesday just the two of us?" >fuckyeah.zip >work goes fast after that >lay in bed and start to think again >takes a little longer cause autism >mfw i just sold my soul to the devil for a gf A f------ girlfriend how could i have been so retarded frens? she could dump me whenever probably will cause im dumb fml :(

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Anon uses the defecation chair | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)14:58:04 No.855843594 Sorry for bad englang >be me >belly location having pressure >pain >on the defecation chair >large movement 45 KB JPG >pressure gone Mfw

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Anon sees a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:39:08 No.863546656 >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do??? 74 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:40:16 No.863546726 >>863546656 (OP) # NO OFF THE BED GIT 60 KB JPG

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Princess and the frog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)13:05:05 No.65466916 >go on a dinner date for the first time in 9 years >everything goes well, seemingly >she seems to smile a lot though doesn't hold eye contact much >bill comes, I pay >go in for a hug at the end >she pushes me away hard saying 10 KB JPG "don't kiss me" >don't know what to say, don't know what to do, just stand there speechless, I didn't even try to kiss her Holy f--- it's over

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Too Close For Comfort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)00:13:27 No.65462742 >be me >tall and skinny guy >not exactly handsome >a few days ago in the mall with my sisters >walking behind them cause idk they're talking >I hear a woman a few feet away saying 7 KB PNG "What is that guy doing so close to the girls? >other woman says "I hope nothing bad" >mfw I realize that I look so weird that people think I'm a stalker

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Pigs on the wing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)13:14:41 No.65467011 What would people think if they could hear your inner monologue? >at work as cashier, standing there and waiting for customers >inside my head though: >visualizing a fat girl on her knees, she's grabbing her big ass cheeks 267 KB PNG and spreading them. I'm looking at her hairy p----, she's farting >"gimme some gas you fat pig, yeah keep farting oink oink"

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Greentext Stories - Anon is introverted | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 09/22/21(Wed)01:55:19 No.65470426 >walking to the grocery store after working out >check myself out in the reflection of a random booth thingy >say out loud "you're genuinely the most beautiful person I've ever seen" to myself 59 KB JPG >hear female voices inside >one says "omg thank you!" the other goes "umm shes **I! >realize to my horror what Ive done >begin walking manually F--- I thought it was closed

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