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>Be me, work for a mid sized startup >Total employee strength is around 100 give or take >We do better than our competitors, and also get paid good wages with some amazing benefits >Boss is super chill, and so are the managers >For the 5th anniversary of our startup, boss gifts himself a swanky fast car >Everybody was happy for him because he deserved it >Enter "The retarded bitch" >This bitch makes a scene at our workplace and calls our boss a capitalist pig who buys expensive cars by paying low wages to the employees because of white supremist patriarchy gynocentrism blah blah blah.. >Boss wastes no time, and fires that loud mouthed crazy bitch >Absolutely based boss

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext green jaw terrestrial plant

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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lord of the rings, the true ending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/21(Wed)13:16:45 No.865263131 >wake up mister frodo wake up!! >what is it sam? >that freak is gone mr frodo >gollum? >yes, see if you still have the ring *frodo unzip his pants to see if the ring is still around his c---* 27 KB JPG >thank god mr frodo he didn't take the ring >"stupid fat hobbit" gollum said while climbing down to them >there's no way we would steal the precious >we don't care about the old precious anymore >we have a NEW precious *sam and frodo notice gollum HUGE boner* >s...sam >yes mr frodo >did it start to get hot here or am i imaging? *sam staring at gollum HUGE boner* >...yes mr frodo, real hot.. *their bussys start to tingle* >"smeagol, you have a new precious??" frodo asked >we found it master, we found it near the river >what did you find smeagol? >..this! *gollum reach behind and grab the fleshlight 2000 (waterproof)* >sam: is that the fleshlight 2000 (waterproof)? woah! *gollum climb on a small rock near frodo's head* >we don't want the fat hobbit to use the fleshlight 2000 (waterproof) master gonna protect us from him, right master? *frodo look at gollum HUGE boner near his face, he stop breathing for like 10 second, his face become read* >we will do anything to protect us master... anything >frodo: a...anything? > *gollum whisper* anything *bussy tingle* >frodo: scratch my back and i'll scratch yours, but.. my back is located in my boibussy *gollum push frodo down and go to town* *sam start to j------- to them* >sam: what's that? frodo i think i heard something behind that big rock >frodo: ahhh yeah smeagol you are the man ahhhh sam: whatever, i will go check it out *sam slowly go towards the big rock, he look behind it* *gandalf fapping to gollum and frodo* >sam: GANDALF!!!! *gandalf caught off guard, looking at sam and still jerking it, after 7 second he c--* >sam: .. >gandalf: . >frodo: AHHHHH HE BIT MY D---, SAM CATCH IM HE GOT THE RING : Anonymous 10/20/21(Wed)13:17:10 No.865263141 *sam chasing gollum and yelling* >AT LEAST LEAVE THE FLESHLIGHT 2000 (WATERPROOF) *gollum climbs a mountain and disappear... forever* *sam go back to frodo* >mister frodo i lost him but gandalf will help us *sam look behind and only find c-- on the floor* >i think we failed our mission mr frodo... FIN

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Anon Plays LOL | /r/Greentext

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Anon should end the relationship | /r/Greentext

>be me >be f-- >look girly >be really lonely my entire Life >want affection >go on /soc/ >find a "bf" 28,5 kB PNG >bf wants me to become a crossdresser >cant say no >dress up for him >practice sissygasm for him >he starts talking about estrogene now Should I end the relationship?

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the return of the king | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/21(Wed)20:31:05 No.865274558 John_Jonah_Jameson_and_Peter_Parker_(Earth-92131)_from_Spider- Man_The_Animated_Series_Season_4_1_0001.jpg 91 KB JPG >listen here spiderman, you can't hide the truth forever, the people deserve the truth, and one day i will give it to them, mark my words spiderman i will uncover your identity or my name isn't jay jonah jameson *jjj leaves* >h-------- was that hitler?

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Anon listened to the brokeback mountain soundtrack | /r/Greentext

Times you f----- up >be me >16 >At home, looking up shitposts on youtube >stumble across a video called " out here on the range" >Seems okay, click on it >It's some country music, i have a listen 29.6 kB PNG >at this time someone decides to turn on the bluetooth speaker downstairs >it was on full volume >Song starts, things are doing fine >suddenly, things get out of hand >the speaker starts blaring the gay cowboy lyrics >l'LL BEND YOUR ASS OVER AND PULL OUT MY WILLY >STIR YOUR A------ LIKE A HOT BOWL OF CHILLI >fuckfuckfuck.jpg >Try to close tab >My s----- toshiba laptop f------ softlocks >Everything's frozen but the song continues playing >MY BOYFRIEND'S HERE AND IM SINGIN' HIM A BALLAD >THEN I'LL BEND HIS ASS OVER AND TOSS HIS F----- SALAD >'M HANK STEEL THE REAL QUEER COWBOY >l manage to turn off the laptop right beofe the part where the men start laughing at their song >I sit back to think about what just happened >mfw My parents thought i was gay for an entire 5 months

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the things a man has to do... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/21 (Wed)10:53:40 No.65833155 >be me, autistic, sensitive to loud/unfamiliar noises >sitting in class, girl next to me whose stomach keeps growling every 30 seconds >bothers me a little bit, but can still 16 KB JPG focus on lecture >time passes >all of a sudden, startled by what sounds like a lion's roar coming out of this girl's gut >can't take it anymore >reach into my wallet, lean over, and hand her $2, tell her to get herself something to eat >looks at me confused >everyone looks at us confused >professor stops lecture >don't even break my stare, keep looking at her firmly >without saying a word, she confusedly gets up and walks out The things a man has to do to learn in peace...

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Anon makes an AI | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/20(Tue)14:04:27 No.820980114 >Teaches a Al to do greentexts >Gets banned from the server for making it racist >mfw pic related 215 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/18/20(Tue)14:07:02 No.820980243

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Anon has a god complex | /r/Greentext

>YOU WILL NOT : >HAVE SEX >TALK TO WOMEN >PLAY VIDEO GAMES >WATCH ANIME >LISTEN TO MUSIC 86,0 kB PNG >HAVE FUN >YOU CANT BECAUSE YOU CANT OK?!

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Anon's teacher uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (3 KB, 224x225) Anonymous 10/20/21(Wed)09:28:33 No.865265755 >In class today >Topic of siblings came up >"Anon do you have any brothers?" >Yes, just my older brother. >(Remember what my dad told me a few months ago) >Actually i also have a step sister. >"Oh, what side?" >Dad's >"Is she much older than you?" >Yes i think shes 10-12 years older than me. >"Oh thats good, what if you fell in love with her? Its not just in shows and movies where that happens y' know." >Whole class staring at her either confused or disgusted. Is my teacher retarded?

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Anon's degeneracy is exposed | /r/Greentext

File: 1634524011903.jpg (57 KB, 1000x1144) O Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)23:27:58 No.865254721 >>865254779 >>865254807 >>865255945 >>8652 >at a friend's house with a bunch of people I've never met >drop an earbud >bend over to pick it up >pants rip wide open >on the one day i happen to not be wearing underwear >which also happens to be the same day I decided to go out with a huge buttplug lodged in my a------ >everyone sees >everyone stops what they're doing to screech-cackle at me >I try to fake-laugh and awkwardly play it off as a prank >their laughter grows louder >leave early >cry on the way back home >replay that moment in my head over and over and over and over and over I'm done being a f------ coomer

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

onymous dzone 10/01/21(Fri)16:54:34 No.65593073 >meet old classmate at gym >turned into a stacy, pretty face with skinny body >she somehow recognized me and is reasonably excited >talk about life, just catching up >she mentions im 'jacked' now (im 8 KB JPG not) >we exchange snapchat and say goodbye >see her again next day, more small talk >'so you want to grab some food after the gym?" >i am caught off guard but agree >have fun at lunch, as were leaving notice a movie she talked about earlier >spontaneously suggest we go there >shes happily agrees >itshappening.exe >holds my arm a few times during scary moments >keeps 'playfully' hitting me after jokes >we leave the cinema and she gets picked up by a guy >check her instagram later that night and see its her boyfriend >mfw have you ever been friendzoned anon?

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anon wants to ride his bicycle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)22:40:01 No.65384992 >Want a bike, parents sold the one we had ages ago >Refuse to get another >Finally have a job >l buy one >My mom is triggered and said I could get into an accident (Understandable, but.) >Says she thought at this age, l'd be raising a family/kids >l'm 29 130 KB JPG W--. I guess I should have been out of the house by now, but juggling school with a job is hard for me already (always sucked at school, barely getting my bachelor's now) and the last time I moved, they begged me to come back. It's just very unhealthy living here. Anyone other anons in a similar boat? How old are you and do you live with your parents? Do they pressure you to find someone and settle down?

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Greentext Stories - Anon has a based boss | /r/Greentext

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>Be me, work for a mid sized startup >Total employee strength is around 100 give or take >We do better than our competitors, and also get paid good wages with some amazing benefits >Boss is super chill, and so are the managers >For the 5th anniversary of our startup, boss gifts himself a swanky fast car >Everybody was happy for him because he deserved it >Enter "The retarded bitch" >This bitch makes a scene at our workplace and calls our boss a capitalist pig who buys expensive cars by paying low wages to the employees because of white supremist patriarchy gynocentrism blah blah blah.. >Boss wastes no time, and fires that loud mouthed crazy bitch >Absolutely based boss

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