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a real human bean.jpg 2.92 MB JPG >Me and qt coworker finishing work late and closing up >"Ah anon can you drive me home? my dad bailed on me and it's pretty dark" %3D >"... >".yeah I drive" >She smiles and gets in the car with me >On the way home she ask to stop by a gas station to pick up some things >"you give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that and you're on your own. Do you understand? >she laughs softly and says "you're so cute sometimes anon, I'll be back in a second" >5 minute 1 second later she isn't back >floor it

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon does something nice | /r/Greentext

Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Вe me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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Anon gets a compliment from a stranger! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg| 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.

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Anon encounters Anon | /r/Greentext

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Anon becomes a functioning member of society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)17:42:33 No.66734422 2010 >NEET >spend all day on the computer >wake up at 12pm usually >go to sleep around 4am >no gf 77 KB JPG >no stress >unlimited free time >j------- whenever I want >sometimes j------- 3 times a day >alone time whenever I want >do what I want when I want >true freedom 2021 >married >have to go to extreme troubles to hide any p--- on my computer >can only go to 4chan in secrecy >no alone time >no free time >have to be up at 5:30 am for work >have to be in bed by 9:30pm >designated j------- time >have to give attention to spouse when home >can't go out alone because she starts calling >no freedom tfw I fell for the gf meme. I want to go back so badly bros. Why the f--- did I listen to you guys?

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Anon thinks about the planet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:25:21 No.869445300 I dont understand why are arent letting covid do it's thing. humans and over population are the true enemy of the planet. If we die, it's a good thing. Mother nature need sus to die. May as well trim off the fat with a disease that only kills boomers and immuno comprimised 66 KB JPG This is why I choose to not wear a mask. F--- people. and f--- strangers. If you're not my family or friend, then you're a c--- unless you prove me wrong : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:28:02 No.869445444 : Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:31:19 No.869445633 >>869445300 (OP)_# >sus 8 KB JPG

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Anon is hated by his parents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)21:29:13 No.66742125 >be me >named striker >at coffee shop before I enter the wage cage >shop is relatively crowded >waiting for my coffee to be made so I sit in a booth with some 484 KB GIF teenagers behind me >barista screams out my order >I GOT AN ORDER FOR STRIKER >teenagers behind me start giggling and say that striker is a gay ass name >get to collect my coffee and leave in shame Just an average day with a gay ass name.

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Anon is a rasict | /r/Greentext

>be me >Scrolling TikTok past bedtime >See a YouTuber react to a meme i made months ago >Lose my s--- >Can't believe it 40 KB JPG >Check the comments for the name of the guy >Lil bored X >Watch almost all his videos to see where my meme is >This guy is actually funny >Sub to him >l enjoy watching him >Decides to join his discord >First day goes well >Be today >l forgot i was not on 4chan and said i am rasict to Igbt >Mfw i got banned

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Anon likes Snickers | /r/Greentext

File: D587AAF2-C8C6-4C35-81E6-C(...).jpg (7 KB, 212x249) U Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)03:59:34 No.869443754 >>869443837 >>869443891 >>869444016 >>869444169 >>869444197 >>869444365 >>869444423 >>869444646 >>869444850 >>869445305 >>869445397 >be me >right by where I work there is a gas station >every day before I get to work I buy two snickers >during my lunch break I walk over and buy two more >when I finish my work day I stop by the gas station and buy two more >been doing this every day I work for two years >this morning walk into gas station to buy my snickers >there is a new kid l've never seen before at the cash register >put down my snickers >kid says >"h-------- are you the snickers guy" >I look at him confused >he says "I honestly thought they were joking about you" >lunch break rolls around so I walk back over >the kid is still there and he says while laughing >"h-------- you must love snickers" >I say “they are my favorite candy" >he laughs even harder >I didn't go back for a third time because I was embarrassed W--. Why the f--- are they talking about me when I'm not there? I thought people at cash registers didn't give a f--- about who goes in. W-- am I supposed to do now? O Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)04:01:04 No.869443837 ► >>869444228 >>869444879 >>869445361 >>869443754 (OP) You should go back in there and tell him you're going to become the s--- on the floor guy if he doesn't shut the f--- up.

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Anon is an insomniac | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/07/20(Fri)06:51:11 No.833783188 >have you tried melatonin >have you tried sleeping pills? >it's because you drink too much caffeine man >you just need to stop worrying >well if you just got in bed and relaxed 33 KB JPG >if you'd get on a routine >if you'd go to bed earlier View Thread

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Anon learns about truck drivers | /r/Greentext

onymous 12/26/21(Sun)18:50:33 No.24977124 >be me >Work within eyesight of a gas station >Most coworkers like to get gas there as it's fairly cheap compared to other stations nearby >Female coworker has a lifted truck 188 KB JPG with comically large tires >Coworker constantly bitches and moans about the cost to fuel up her car even when Trump was in office >Ask her why she doesn't get a smaller car if it's that much of an issue >Tells me I wouldn't understand and that she "needs" a truck because she lives in the country (10 minutes outside of the suburb i live in) and that the roads get too bad out there during the winter Fast forward to today >Wake up >Maybe 4 inches of snow on the road >Let my car heat up and head out about 10 minutes earlier than normal >Take turns slowly, keep my distance, and just drive carefully because I'm not super used to driving in the snow >Make it to work in one piece >work for about an hour >Phone starts ringing >It's Mrs pick-up truck >"Hey anon, I can't come into work today the roads are awful where I live" Do truck-tards really?

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One man’s treasure is another man’s treasure | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous E 03/21/16(Mon)11:10:07 No.27303759 Why don't they make bulletproof vests out of diamond if it is the hardest metal? 5 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/21/16(Mon)11:11:28 No.27303774 Cause it's too heavy. 1 gram of diamond weighs something like 15 grams. >>27303789 # >>27303795 # >27303892 # >>27303924 # >>27304023 # >>27304509 #

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Anon asserts his right to use self-defense. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.619019470 21 minutes ago >16 years old >walking to the bus stop to go to school >group of girls walking behind me >hear one say "you dare me?" >the other one say "I double dare you" >This bitch blindsides me and swings her fist into my temple from behind >Thatfuckishappening.jpg >l fall face first into concrete >the other two laugh as my nose bleed >get up >she got all up in my face, shoved me and yelled, "Whatchu gonna do about it, f-----? Hit a girl?" >Dont tempt me bitch >slammed my palm into her face and knocked her the f--- out >mfw they call me a monster >mfw they sream women beater What do you guys think of girls using their gender to protect themselves 5 replies

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Greentext Stories - Anon drives. | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

a real human bean.jpg 2.92 MB JPG >Me and qt coworker finishing work late and closing up >"Ah anon can you drive me home? my dad bailed on me and it's pretty dark" %3D >"... >".yeah I drive" >She smiles and gets in the car with me >On the way home she ask to stop by a gas station to pick up some things >"you give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that and you're on your own. Do you understand? >she laughs softly and says "you're so cute sometimes anon, I'll be back in a second" >5 minute 1 second later she isn't back >floor it

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