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Any funny family stories? I have one. >be 14yo in 2006 >mom learns that my 12yo sister is wearing thongs to school >parents can't make her stop >they assign me to "thong patrol" >mfw I have to check my sister's pants every day to make sure she's wearing panties, not thongs >every time I catch her wearing a thong. I get $10 to make her change her undies >chaching.mp3 >end up making $9,500 over four years, not bad >turn 18, want to leave for college >mom freaks out because nobody will be home to panty-police my sister >delay college, stay a NEET at home for two years so I can inspect my sister's ass until she turns 18 >only make $150 over two years. f--- this >2012, finally ready to start college >end up attending the same school as my sis >drop her off at her dorm >without thinking. look inside her pants. just like I have every day for six years >she's wearing a blue lacy thong >mfw nobody gives me $10 Stuff like that really makes you homesick.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon has suave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:59:03 No.48835698 Here's the story of how I cucked a chad: >be me a few years ago >17 years old, kissless virgin >one of my few friends invites me to his birthday party >drink way too much >most of the people, including me, sleep over at his place 282 KB PNG >14 guys, 10 girls >we're all in a big room, lights are off >one girl, lets call her 'Stacy', has been bitching about her bf all the time asks if anyone has headphones >a solid 6/10 >I did >we sit in a corner and listen to random music >mfw I get a boner >mfw she noticed >guessilldie.png >she smirks >we kiss >grab her ass >she doesn't mind >get a condom I had for 'emergency' >she says that she's still a virgin >I tell her I don't care or something along those lines >she resisted at first, but then tells me to be gentle since it is her first time >f--- for 10 minutes slowly in the dark and somehow manage to nut >she smiles and days it felt great >a few hours later >everyone woke up >we pretended like nothing happened >she talks to her best friend and whispers her something >her friend laughs uncontrollably >waitwhat.jpg >her friend then tells everyone that I took Stacy's virginity >the guys congratulate me, the girls look at me and Stacy in disgust >FeelsGreatMan Two days later >the story of me and Stacey's events spread, but instead of us having sex, people are talking about her giving me a h------ >decide to go along with it, because she still has a bf >her chad bf heard the stories >instead of beating me up or breaking up with Stacy, he wants to take her virginity since no one except the ones who slept over know the truth >he contacts me on Snapchat >sends me a pic of him f------ her >"don't you wish this was you, loser? Stacy told me you wanted to f--- her, but l'm the first one to fill this hole f-----" >meet stacy on the street at one time >she says that my d--- if way better than chad's >kek

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Anon is Latvian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CNQGUWMW )= 01/22/22(Sat)11:26:55 No.357639633 >>357636505 (OP) # >Population 1.9 M >5th greatest enemy of Russia 49 KB JPG >>357639793 # >>357640601 # >>357640790 # >>357643436 #

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Anon finds some loot | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:13:08 No.503678250 >>503678791 >>503679183 >>503680107 >>503682016 File: 1572443678272.png (58 KB, 398x306) >>503677519 (OP) I've dated 2 girls i met from mmos. we just happened to live in the same city and met up, and it just clicked so we kept at it. dated one for 6 months the other for 3 years. first one I broke up with cause she kept blowing off our dates, and that just always pisses me off. hurre Ware second girl died of cancer. Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:20:50 No.503679183 File: hu_1422640493_2816201342.jpg (86 KB, 1920x1080) >>503679380 2>503678250 Sad to hear she passed away anon. Did she at least drop any good loot? O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:22:31 No.503679380 22503679584 >503679626 >>503679775 >>503679863 >>503679936 >>503680140 >>503680157 >>503680298 >>503680323 >>503680792 >>503680935 >>503681150 >>503681212 >503681226 >>503681394 >503681519 >>503681802 >>503681816 >503681935 >>503681954 >>503682016 >>503679183 just a ring that lost its all of its enchantment. O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:24:21 No.503679584 File: sko jpg (6 KB, 250x250) >>503679380 Jesus f--- man

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Anon comes across a female enemy soldier | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:13:18 No.397551 >Oh hey anon! I'm an enemy soldier but please don't shoot me. I was forced to be in the front line for this war but I really don't want to be here. Please mercy 124 KB JPG How do you respond? : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:04 No.397551 >>39755182 (OP) # Only thing I feel is recoil >>39755487 # >>39756428 # >>39756534 # >>39756723 # >>39758615 # : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:11 No.397551 Shoot her >>39756057 # >>39758413 #

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Anon becomes the very thing he swore to destroy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)23:44:01 No.783680249 >be me >solid 4/10 >be in grade 8 >basically an autist >be me >in grade 9 >still a "special boy 7 KB PNG >but less so >join basketball >become a bit more fit >be me >grade 10 >see a girl I never really noticed before >solid 9/10 >ask her out >mfw she says yes >go to restaurant with her >all goes well >for first few months I think she Is using me >mfw I'm just the only boy to ever treat her like a human being >start hitting the gym >mad gains >join wrestling >join basketball >join yearbook >join student council >mfw when I have More power than the principal >is this the good life? >you've taken good care of me 4chan

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Need for Tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)13:40:08 No.870575971 >Wake up at 6 pm covered in sweat, dried c--, and chicken grease >stomach rumbles >no F------ TENDIES >too heavy to move on my own >I'm a beautiful 750 pound boi >start shrieking for mommy until she 72 KB JPG opens the door >"good morning anon, what do you need swe-" >I throw a second piss jug at her bitch face >GIMME MY TENDIES W---- REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! >"sorry anon, I gave you a double serving last night, and you agreed to skip breakfast today in return, remember?" >l feel the rage boiling >it gives me strength >mommy comes over to calm me down >"honey, you need to calm down. A good boy always keeps his prom-" >l grab the bitches neck and start squeezing >"ANON WH-GHGHGGggGggghhhhh >In the heat of the moment I summon the colossal amount of energy necessary to roll over and fall off the bed on top of her >with her pinned down I start punching her bitch face over and over again >WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES >she cries and begs for mercy until she falls asleep with her eyes open >l feel another rumble in my tummy >it's the 200 trendies and 5 gallons of Mountain Dew from last night >l turn over and explode the foulest of s---- onto mommy to teach that bitch a lesson >60 seconds later the spray dies down >turn around and see mommy covered in my good boi chocolate >peepee starts to get hard >would watch hentai but my laptops out of reach >pull down mommy's shorts and panties and start putting my wiener in and out of her no-no spot until my good boy cream shoots out >still hungry and no way to get tendies >pick out pieces of tendies from my doodie and enjoy a second time >no sauce needed >it's been over a week now >I still can't get up and I'm running out of mommy jerky >try throwing her bones through my window to get attention but no one brings me tendies plz help guys

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Anon is a sniper | /r/Greentext

>be me >it's 9:43 pm >laying in bed about to fall asleep >hear 3 kids playing in their yard at the Mexican house 2 houses away >sickofthisshit.jpeg >grab my air soft sniper rifle 59 KB JPG >my plan is to snipe them in their arm making it seem like a wasp did it cause summer >open window behind bed facing the house >get into position >put on Vietnam war helmet >load up >bang >first kid get hit in the arm and starts crying >the other 2 run over to see what's wrong >by the time there over I'm already loaded up >bang >second kid is hit in the leg and goes down >third goes to get parents but i'm The fastest sniper in the platoon >bang >shot him in the testicals >all those years of sniper elite have paid off >parents come out to see the problem >I close my window and turn off the lights >go to bed >next day they got exterminators over to see if there are any wasp nest >the kids never come out again And that's how it's done

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Weed is not addictive i swear | /r/Greentext

DUDE weed is like not addictive. Of course I could quit, I just don't need or want to! The government should not be able to tell us what to do, but also get the experimental vaccine, youre f------ killing реople. >wakes up for work at 5am >*hits weed before shower* >dude i love Grateful Dead >alright time for breakfast, better smoke a little weed, wake and bake lol >*smokes weed before breakfast* >getting ready for work >walking out the door. oh better smoke one more hit >*smokes one more hit* >works til lunchtime, with a hit of weed on break in the car, then heads home for lunch >*hits weed before lunch and before going back to work* >working til end of day, finally get home >oh man what a long stressful day >*hits weed* >dinner time >*hits weed before dinner* >*hits weed after dinner* >oh s--- Animal Planet i love this show dude, better get a little high >*hits weed before Animal Planet* >man those gazelles can run fast bro >*hits weed during and after Animal Planet* >*falls asleep on couch* >wakes up for work at 5am >*hits weed before shower*

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Fem Anon is into femdom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)22:14:01 No.49253594 >join a high level overwatch team >get kicked pretty quickly for my harsh and aggressive attitude >thought l'm a carry tier main tank for those guys they couldn't handle my "toxicity" >join college's team SADFROGS YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED 139 KB PNG >best player on the team by far >people put up with my "toxicity" and even seen to embrace it >they've started calling me mistress and madame I like this. How do I get a boyfriend that calls me mistress?

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Anon believed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)21:37:14 No.771988321 What's the dumbest thing you believed as a child? 18 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)21:37:41 No.771988361 >>771988321 (OP) # That someday I'd be happy >>771988677 # >>772001383 #

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Anon has found yet another government conspiracy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Are gophers even real??? 01/17/22(Mon)22:38:55 No.4041228 >go to bed >no hole >wake up >buncha hole I don't think I have ever seen a gopher irl, it's always just their ugly little dirt mounds. Either it's a government ploy or gophers find 57 KB JPG me unattractive. : Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)02:11:13 No.4041489 >>4041228 (OP) # Gopher holes are actually CIA agents burying dynamite on your property to false flag a nuclear strike when they need to. Be very afraid, get vaxxxed

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Anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 784493758 4 min. geleden ... >be you >reddit f-- lurking /b/ for content to steal >see this thread >screen cap and post to r/greentext >make s----- title like "anon hates reddit" >get 3000 upvotes 48,3 kB JPG enjoy your karma, f----- >later >be you >youtube compilation channel browsing r/ greentext >see this >add it to a 10 minute greentext compilation >make some gay title like "funniest 15 second stories v400" enjoy your s----- ad money, f-----

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Greentext Stories - Anon is homesick at college | /r/Greentext

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Any funny family stories? I have one. >be 14yo in 2006 >mom learns that my 12yo sister is wearing thongs to school >parents can't make her stop >they assign me to "thong patrol" >mfw I have to check my sister's pants every day to make sure she's wearing panties, not thongs >every time I catch her wearing a thong. I get $10 to make her change her undies >chaching.mp3 >end up making $9,500 over four years, not bad >turn 18, want to leave for college >mom freaks out because nobody will be home to panty-police my sister >delay college, stay a NEET at home for two years so I can inspect my sister's ass until she turns 18 >only make $150 over two years. f--- this >2012, finally ready to start college >end up attending the same school as my sis >drop her off at her dorm >without thinking. look inside her pants. just like I have every day for six years >she's wearing a blue lacy thong >mfw nobody gives me $10 Stuff like that really makes you homesick.

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