Copium - Putin high on copium

>Imperial Copium Czar's private reserve
>exp. 1908
Jeez they're scrapping the bottom of the barrel, they'll have to start busting into the pre-modern supply at this rate

Fake historian here. Mongolians had no need for copium, but often demanded it as tribute to ensure the submission of their captured peoples during that time period. The original stash was consumed during the sack kiev and fall of the kiev confederation, the little the rus could assemble following mongolian domination often was used during rebellions. Ivan the terrible reportedly consumed 4 tanks a day, and during his later years became erratic and violent (it is unsure if this was because of age or because of his own actions causing a vicious cycle.)
Some people reason his death was not caused by a stroke but the immediate need for copium following a very good move by Belsky. Having drunk the entire nation dry after the comet sighting it was simply too much for the tzar and he passed in Belsky arms who is reported to have said "merely a skill issue."