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Greentext Stories - Anons get revenge on a crazy neighbor lady | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 05/02/22(Mon)16:42:45 No.68465064 Retarded s--- you did as a kid and got away with thread >late afternoon in early summer 1999 or 2000 >group of 4 friends hanging out near one friend's house >his name is Jay >riding our bikes on the nice sidewalks and 253 KB JPG sloped curbs >crazy 50+ish neighbor lady that lives 2 houses down sees us >screams and threatens to call the cops for riding our bikes >yells at us and scares us for 10 min and then speeds away >she has done this to Jay many times before apparently >Jay's mom offers to take all of us to pizza hut in 20 minutes >we're excited out of our minds because we're 10 >one friend, Brandon, announces he has to take a dump before we go >I have an idea >l tell Brandon to take a s--- in the crazy lady's house >he nervously laughs and says no way, but we hear the curiosity in his voice >we all decide Brandon must do it, and offer to help him in his mission >we lean our bikes against Jay's house and sneak over through the back yards >the back door is unlocked >we literally walk into this crazy lady's empty home and laugh outside the bathroom as we hear Brandon's turds splashing into the toilet >we find pretzel rods in her kitchen and shove them into the turd until it looks like a british naval mine >we stop and appreciate our work while laughing to the point our ribs feel bruised and our eyes have sparkling spots in our vision >as we leave through the kitchen, one kid, Derek, stops and shoots a couple of squirts of pee into her fridge >we run full speed out the back door laughing hysterically >get back to Jay's yard literally the millisecond his mom begins opening the door, car keys in hand >we eat pizza and have fun, laughing about it for hours >there's a cop car at her house when we get back, probably around 9:00 now >mfw they were probably forced to stare down at a bobbing pretzel-studded turd while she told them an insane theory >the police never talk to or told neighbors about the incident >we still laugh at pictures of naval mines and pretzels to this day

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