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: Anonymous 10/03/18(Wed)00:13:01 No.781354558 Hey f--- heres a greentext threat about Irony >be me >have female friend who likes shitpost as much as I do 15 KB JPG >notificationtojoinashitpostgroupfromher.exe >Flat Earth etc... >seems like a decent shitpost group >everyone has a top tier shitposting/Irony humor >"NASA uses Eyefish lence" >Laugh at funny ironical memes and s--- they write >my friend likes NASA and space bs >see a post where she is arguing w/ some random guy >Find out the FB group is not a shitpost group >Mfw I've been in this group for at least 2 months >Mfw I thought their posts were memes >Mfw these people actually think Earth is flat >Mfw top excuse is "NASA uses eyefish lence"

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File: aziz.jpg (84 KB, 720x540) No S COVEN TO YOUR DO Minutes Free!' teed Joe's Pepper ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:04:00 No.207634914 >Why don't you get Abdul to deliver it? >>207635324 >>207635417 >"They found his passport lying on top of the wreckage. NOW GO!!!" ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:33:05 No.207635312 >Look, kid, I got a newspaper to run and I need a picture of the splattered corpses at Ground Zero in seven minutes! >Fine, here. >Crap. Run it on page one with the headline "Spider-Man Leaves Trade Tower Victims to Die!" Give you two hundred bucks for the picture. >Three hundred for that and one from my private "LOL SUPERMAN" stash. >That's outrageous! Done. ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:33:41 No.207635318 ► File: 1736073212833.jpg (230 KB, 1280×720) o Smoking IR DOOR >GOOOooooO00000000 Dr lepper le INCE 0000 ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:41:18 No.207635417 File: americanmoviescene.png (449 KB, 720x540) Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper lepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr epper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper >>207634914 (OP). >american movies

MIRROR NOW MIRRORNOW.IN CALIFORNIA FIRES WATCH: DEADLY FIRES GRIP HOLLYWOOD STARS' HOMES | Anonymous (ID: baWLIwd7 | 01/09/25(Thu)17:14:43 No.493843417 >be rich af >lose one of your multimillion dollar mansions in a fire >go on the news and cry about your loss from a 5 star hotel >everyone on redderp expresses their sorrow and sends condolences redshit logic: obscene wealth = good if you're a Dem

Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #

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Anon has a date | /r/Greentext

SADFROGS 59D5CDE9-5F63-42BE-85E2-4B0A78C7B6DF.jpg 55 KB JPG >college >walking to class >guy comes up to me >hands me candy and says happy valentines day >continues on with his day wishing everyone he sees a happy valentines day and giving them candy Honestly day made

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Anon is smarter than the average american | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)18:58:09 No.877499651 >Seen IKEA difficult assembly memes >Order several pieces of furniture over three weeks. >No missing pieces >No confusing assembly, no troubles assembling what so ever. 66 KB JPG Are Americans just retarded? Cim

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Anon dislikes Ronald Reagan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (hoHpU9ij ) Reagan sucked ass 05/14/22(Sat)00:43:12 No.377537770 >be Ronald Reagan >fund the Contras who ran paramilitary death squads in Nicaragua >turn a blind eye to them smuggling some cocaine into the U.S 25 KB JPG >enact harsh penalties for people who started using crack cocaine that the CIA-backed guys were bringing in >(poor blacks in urban areas were disproportionately targeted by these laws) >don't do s--- about AIDS when it became an issue around 1982, and don't even mention AIDS publicly until 1985 >do Reaganomics which f----- over a lot of poor Americans >give a bunch of money and weapons to Mujahideen fighters in Afghanistan, who would later help create the Taliban & other terrorist groups >he also may or may not have had Alzheimer's while he was still in office >still win both elections in a landslide, & manage to be one of the most popular Presidents ever

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Anon’s friend is a pain in the neck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)20:50:44 No.514564416 >Be in 7th >Friend can crack his neck real loud and can turn his head completely sideways >Have a sub during choir >We think it would be funny if he made it look like he snapped his own neck >In between songs he screams out "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" >Proceeds to make the loudest crack ive ever heard >Falls to the ground >The sub screams and runs out the door >lols were had He then hid in a storage closet and was suspended

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Anone almost tells person to have a seat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8/29/2019 (Thu)09:19:45 No.852672830 > Be me circa 2008 (forgettable year) > be 14 yo girl at the time > friends and I are bored watching Dateline NBC wat >getidea.ogg 9 KB JPG >decide to go into chatrooms to lure in old creepy guys who want underrage girls >ffw to one week after when friend's parents aren't home >lure a 55 year old man to our house >forgot to mention that friend's dad owns a small print shop >print out life sized cardboard cut out of Chris Hansen and leave in the doorway >Old dude opens the door and f------ gets scared shitless and sprints away >mwf i realize how absolutely f------ stupid we were and how we could have been murdered or worse r----

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warning: idiots in commentsAnon does his PhD | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/18(Fri)21:43:18 No.10178727 >be G >doing a PhD >one day a trans girl student from one of my classes comes to my office >says she wants to work with me and my PhD supervisor as an 5 KB JPG undergrad >ask her some questions to gauge her level >pretty keen and capable, good >ask her to prove that the fundamental group of the quotient space X/G is G itself if its action on the simply connected space X is free and transitive >she freezes up >ok, ask her instead to prove that two curves on a manifold have trivial tangent spaces at a point iff they intersect transversally >her face flushes red, as if she's on the brink of tears >uh oh, let's try something easier >ask her to prove that ever permutation can be uniquely decomposed into a product of transpositions >she bursts out my office crying >w-- >days later got called into the department office and got chewed out for being transphobic and that l'll have my PhD grant revoked if this happens again >mfw

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Anon is a kid in the 90's. | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (131 KB, 248x203) 0000 Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)07:53:10 No.50432682 [Reply] >AAAAAAARGH THE HIGH PITCHED FREQUENCIES! IT'S REWRITING MY BRAIN!! >l'M GOING TO F------ KILL MYSELF I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMOREEEE

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Damn evil genius | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: V+cdTMB1) 11/11/14(Tue)05:49:31 No.578820617 File: Screen Shot 2014-11-11 at.).png (179 KB, 310x294) > be me at age 8 > always hung out around woods by playground where i grew up > thought i was too cool for the playground > one day decide to "booby-trap" the playground's sandbox BA > dig 3' diameter hole to bottom of sand > gather epic trap supplies from woods > lay near perfectly-spaced grid of long, thin sticks on top of hole > weave giant fern leaves on top of sticks > delicately cover with sand again > mymasterpiece.jpg > hang out on swing, waiting for victims > get impatient and go home > go to playground next day > group of mom's circling my now broken trap > one of their young has fallen in. victory is mine > hear them say "a child couldn't have done this" > "must have been some loser teenagers" > realize i'm a god damn evil genius at the age of 8 > mfw

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Anon is ROOT | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)01:14:26 No.878090014 All I have ever wanted from a yogurt is to know who the cows are. BERLE The Cows: Myrtle Letty Root Irma COWN YOGU Fanny Julia Veronica Padma Lucy certified european style light tasting O 1,672 t764.9K 569K [esk, Roza @StRoseCherry 23h Notice how they named all the cows traditionally girl names. There is a deep connection between misogyny and consuming animals. 218 27551 307 Connor Bax D @bax_connor Replying to @StRoseCherry and @_Jen_Silverman I feel like yogurt from a bull wouldnt taste quite right. 1612279528636.jpg 62 KB JPG >>878090167 # >>878112036 # >>878112172 # Anonymous05/14/22(Sat)01:16:46 No.878090167 CHE O-0 3090054 >>878090014 # >traditionally girly names >Root >L AM ROOT 44 KB JPG

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Anon has a creepypasta moment | /r/Greentext

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/vp/ anon is straight | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:38:04 No.50424725 ► >50424802 File: transparent oguro.png (1018 KB, 906x1357) >>50423851 (OP). I wish I was gay so I could fap to raihan. >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:54:02 No.50424802 ► >50424815 >>50424725 Why can't you do it now? >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)01:57:15 No.50424815 ► File: kotoura_ dont.png (797 KB, 935x1220) DON'T >>50424802 because I'm not gay. Can't you read?

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Anon wants funny videos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:29:55 No.878106815 >be me >finally get tiktok >start scrolling >see some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life >realize l'll never meet any of them and even if i did i wouldnt have a chance >put my phone down and stare at ceiling for an hour thinking about how much of my life l've wasted 9 KB JPG what the hell i just wanted to watch some funny videos : Anonymous 05/14/22(Sat)00:31:07 No.878106876 >>878106815 (OP) # Yes, social media is harmful.

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Greentext Stories - Anon loses all hope in humanity | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 10/03/18(Wed)00:13:01 No.781354558 Hey f--- heres a greentext threat about Irony >be me >have female friend who likes shitpost as much as I do 15 KB JPG >notificationtojoinashitpostgroupfromher.exe >Flat Earth etc... >seems like a decent shitpost group >everyone has a top tier shitposting/Irony humor >"NASA uses Eyefish lence" >Laugh at funny ironical memes and s--- they write >my friend likes NASA and space bs >see a post where she is arguing w/ some random guy >Find out the FB group is not a shitpost group >Mfw I've been in this group for at least 2 months >Mfw I thought their posts were memes >Mfw these people actually think Earth is flat >Mfw top excuse is "NASA uses eyefish lence"

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