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172 Views • Created 2 years ago By Reddit Moments • Updated 2 years ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated 2 years ago

Anon's Dad is a Chad | /r/Greentext

05/27/22 (Fri)23:27:45 No.66937974 : Anonymous Chad Dad stories >be me many years ago >regular teenage kid going through teenage b------- >gf f---- some guy and dumps me >think it's the end of the world and don't know how to cope 227 KB JPG >Dad was a heavy smoker, smoked a pack or two a day >steal cigarettes from Dad and go up to the roof of my house and thinking smoking and crying like a beta would help me >Hear sound so chuck the c-- I lit up and hide the c-- packet behind me >Dad comes up to the roof. Looks at me and has his hands out with palm open >"give me the cigarettes Anon" >Act like I don't know what he's talking about >He moves me aside and finds them behind me >Sits down next to me and asks "why are you smoking son?" >tell him about what happened and start breaking down >say I took these because he always said he smoked because of stress and it helps >he starts off with "You know...it's not the same thing...." >pauses for what seems like an eternity > "You know what? It's b-------. It doesn't help me and it won't help you" >crushes the entire c-------- box in his massive hand like it was paper >throws the lighter and it explodes > "I promise you I'll never touch another c-------- again and I want you to promise me you'll do the same" >he actually kept his word and quit smoking cold turkey >it's been 12 years since he smoked >Mfw he actually gave it up because he didn't want me to f--- myself up Going back to story >next day takes me to gym >"if you're angry then take it out in here" >I continue to lift and make good gains >fast forward 12 years, I.e now, my wife just delivered my child last month >see him holding my child in his arms and seeing his eyes light up like Christmas >still healthy as a horse I love you, you old bastard. Thanks for everything you done for me. Do you have a Chad Dad /fit/?
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    Anonymous short kings unite..? 131 KB PNG 06/27/24(Thu)07:46:31 No.77970128 >be me, married >wife's entire family is short, her dad is the tallest at around 5'6" >her dad is also the tallest of his siblings/parents >she has a 11 year old brother that we babysit occasionally >kid is really short, even for his age >3'10" last we measured >kid talks CONSTANTLY about how he can't wait to get taller, asks me how to get taller, how to tell when his growth spurt happens >once directly asked me if my wife likes me because i'm tall >obviously tell him that how a guy acts/who he is is more important than what he looks like >don't have the heart to tell him that most girls do prefer tall guys >don't have the heart to tell him that he'll likely never be taller than 5'6" no matter what he does i feel like i'm watching him develop a complex in real time. take care of him once he ends up here venting about women please
    Anonymous short kings unite..? 131 KB PNG 06/27/24(Thu)07:46:31 No.77970128 >be me, married >wife's entire family is short, her dad is the tallest at around 5'6" >her dad is also the tallest of his siblings/parents >she has a 11 year old brother that we babysit occasionally >kid is really short, even for his age >3'10" last we measured >kid talks CONSTANTLY about how he can't wait to get taller, asks me how to get taller, how to tell when his growth spurt happens >once directly asked me if my wife likes me because i'm tall >obviously tell him that how a guy acts/who he is is more important than what he looks like >don't have the heart to tell him that most girls do prefer tall guys >don't have the heart to tell him that he'll likely never be taller than 5'6" no matter what he does i feel like i'm watching him develop a complex in real time. take care of him once he ends up here venting about women please
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    File: Sauron-Ring-Lord-of-the-Rings.jpg (195 KB, 1200x676) Anonymous 10/28/23(Sat)22:44:56 No.191495492 >>191495647 >>191495764 >>191495822 >>191495879 >>191495896 >>191495973 >>191496533 >>191497122 >>191497963 >>191497969 >>191498250 >>191498402 >>191499029 >>191499177 >>191499481 >>191500904 >>191501875 >>191504061 >starts out with the ring >gets beaten ezpz >5000+ years later >"If he gets the ring he'll be unstoppable" ???
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    : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens
    : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 04/24/21(Sat)05:13:32 No.63357780 Forgive me father for i have sinned >Be me, femanon 18 >4Chan degenerate but still manage to keep friends and social life afloat >Humor pretty much broken at this point, only random garbage and 4chan ylyl are funny now Enter young cousin, let's call him A >A finally gets a computer at 12 years old >Parents make me add him on discord Whatever.png >This can't be that bad right? >He adds me to his cringey discord server with his adolescent friends >Mfw they literally post facebook minion memes and advice animal memes >Not even the stacie's i hang out with are this bad >Decide i should darken/spice up his humor if he's to survive here >Add him to a server that posts some pretty good shitposts >Some of the memes are pretty racist but i don't think much of it Covid happens, don't talk to him much ffw to beginning of April >My cousin turned into a complete incel Whathaveidone.png >Turned into a complete trumpie at age 12 >Try playing games with him for once, complete degeneracy >Sexist comments towards me, racist s---, the works >Remember my mom told him that his mom voted for Biden >Ask him about that, A goes on a rant about how his mom is a w---- and doesn't deserve to live Thisisbad.png >Mfw my cousin and his friends will probably get worse from now on >Mfw i realized i turned a normal kid into a discord loser >Mfw i realized if he finds /pol/ this degeneracy is going to increase even more I don't know if I should try to fix this or just call it a lost cause and see what happens
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    File: Ahegao 1280x720.jpg (204 KB, 1280×720) >ahegao video shows up Sister thinks doing the ahegao face is just funny A cutie 06/26/24(Wed)08:53:24 No.920439052 >>920439160 >>920439183 >>920439258 >>920439290 >>920439308 >>920440186 >>920440480 >>920440794 >>920441099 >>920445229 >>920445802 >>920448389 >>920451726 >>920459509 >>920466115 >>920486714 >>920487193 >be me >watching reels with sister >"lol I don't understand why you guys like this face so much" >sister does the face >"Eww don't!" > act disgusted and annoyed >It's funny >We laugh >Oh no >Tomfoolery enters sisters mushy brain >Does the face again the next day to tease me >Turns into a recurrent joke >Oh no >She "pranks" me sending me stuff like 'look at this new mirror I bought!' >Video ends with her doing the face in the mirror >Drooling and everything, she's commited to the bit >Be me, no female contact, otaku >Be my sister, super cute goth-ish tiktok teen >Sister doesn't know i'm kind of a gooner >Still not as easy to see your sister in a sexy way as it seems in p--- >Still kinda hot >Still kinda sad this is the hottest thing that has happened to me
    File: Ahegao 1280x720.jpg (204 KB, 1280×720) >ahegao video shows up Sister thinks doing the ahegao face is just funny A cutie 06/26/24(Wed)08:53:24 No.920439052 >>920439160 >>920439183 >>920439258 >>920439290 >>920439308 >>920440186 >>920440480 >>920440794 >>920441099 >>920445229 >>920445802 >>920448389 >>920451726 >>920459509 >>920466115 >>920486714 >>920487193 >be me >watching reels with sister >"lol I don't understand why you guys like this face so much" >sister does the face >"Eww don't!" > act disgusted and annoyed >It's funny >We laugh >Oh no >Tomfoolery enters sisters mushy brain >Does the face again the next day to tease me >Turns into a recurrent joke >Oh no >She "pranks" me sending me stuff like 'look at this new mirror I bought!' >Video ends with her doing the face in the mirror >Drooling and everything, she's commited to the bit >Be me, no female contact, otaku >Be my sister, super cute goth-ish tiktok teen >Sister doesn't know i'm kind of a gooner >Still not as easy to see your sister in a sexy way as it seems in p--- >Still kinda hot >Still kinda sad this is the hottest thing that has happened to me
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    • 2h (06/26/24 16:02) 77964632 6 Re 2 Img . JPG 39KB (500x500) IMG_1878.jpg 2 Replies >baked potatoes with cheese melted on top Cheap and simple, just how i like it >coat potatoes in olive oil >sprinkle some salt on them >bake them >cut in half horizontally when done >put cheese on open faces >voila What are my fellow robots eating tonight?
    • 2h (06/26/24 16:02) 77964632 6 Re 2 Img . JPG 39KB (500x500) IMG_1878.jpg 2 Replies >baked potatoes with cheese melted on top Cheap and simple, just how i like it >coat potatoes in olive oil >sprinkle some salt on them >bake them >cut in half horizontally when done >put cheese on open faces >voila What are my fellow robots eating tonight?
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    File: IMG_0050.jpg (24 KB, 612x405) Did I hear the voice of god or was it the induced psychosis? Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)06:35:12 No.31493541 >>31493568 >>31493861 >>31494250 >>31494322 >>31495015 >>31496789 >>31498524 >>31498560 >>31498629 >>31498730 >>31499519 >>31503278 >>31504286 >>31507163 >>31508773 >Be Agnostic raised Christian >abstain from weed for 2 months >Sis asks if I want a hit; cave in >Lay on the couch feel high stronger than ever, later learn I was "greened out" >Feel unbearable sense of dread and anxiety like I am being judged >Hear 'I am jehova' in a sort of Michael bay bumblebee-like way, a mixture of different voices speaking words to make one continuous sentence >Realize how my family has become godless over the years >Go to my parents room as anxiety gets worse >Feels like my consciousness is being r---- and I only feel the words 'god is real' >Greenout peaks and every time my mind thinks "what if this is fake", my mind is slapped and shouts "this is real" >Exit peak and suddenly feel peace and I am in the post-rapture and that my dad was my god in the room >Tear up and hug him to say I am sorry for the way I lived my life. Dad is nervous >Realize that my dad isn't god and start feeling like we are about to die in a nuclear fire within minutes >Get an unescapable feeling that I have to physically touch everyone else in the house or they are all going to die and go to hell >Dad holds me down when I try to force my way to my showering mom to get her to touch my hand >Mind permeates 'you will never know if this was real or not' >Mind is fuzzy and go to bed Anyone have similar experiences? Does this sound like a usual message from god? Could it be demonic? I didn't know how to process that experience but it's been months and I don't want to try getting it again, but at the same time I don't want to let it haunt me, unsure if it was real, a drug-induced experienxe, or demonic. Why would a demon want to convince me that god is real and warn me about hell? But then again, why would I see my dad as god and feel the need to touch everyone?
    File: IMG_0050.jpg (24 KB, 612x405) Did I hear the voice of god or was it the induced psychosis? Anonymous 06/23/24(Sun)06:35:12 No.31493541 >>31493568 >>31493861 >>31494250 >>31494322 >>31495015 >>31496789 >>31498524 >>31498560 >>31498629 >>31498730 >>31499519 >>31503278 >>31504286 >>31507163 >>31508773 >Be Agnostic raised Christian >abstain from weed for 2 months >Sis asks if I want a hit; cave in >Lay on the couch feel high stronger than ever, later learn I was "greened out" >Feel unbearable sense of dread and anxiety like I am being judged >Hear 'I am jehova' in a sort of Michael bay bumblebee-like way, a mixture of different voices speaking words to make one continuous sentence >Realize how my family has become godless over the years >Go to my parents room as anxiety gets worse >Feels like my consciousness is being r---- and I only feel the words 'god is real' >Greenout peaks and every time my mind thinks "what if this is fake", my mind is slapped and shouts "this is real" >Exit peak and suddenly feel peace and I am in the post-rapture and that my dad was my god in the room >Tear up and hug him to say I am sorry for the way I lived my life. Dad is nervous >Realize that my dad isn't god and start feeling like we are about to die in a nuclear fire within minutes >Get an unescapable feeling that I have to physically touch everyone else in the house or they are all going to die and go to hell >Dad holds me down when I try to force my way to my showering mom to get her to touch my hand >Mind permeates 'you will never know if this was real or not' >Mind is fuzzy and go to bed Anyone have similar experiences? Does this sound like a usual message from god? Could it be demonic? I didn't know how to process that experience but it's been months and I don't want to try getting it again, but at the same time I don't want to let it haunt me, unsure if it was real, a drug-induced experienxe, or demonic. Why would a demon want to convince me that god is real and warn me about hell? But then again, why would I see my dad as god and feel the need to touch everyone?
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