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glove man : No.69054899 06/15/22(Wed)18:53:26 glove man.jpg JPG 42.6 KiB 420x500 >be me >5 years ago >foreman at company >get my own truck to take loser workers to the work site >i tell them to not leave s--- in my truck >every day they leave garbage and their belongings in my truck >f------ banana peels in the doors and gloves under the seats >i dont care anymore >if start taking the gloves they leave behind >slowly building up a huge collection >these things cost like 7$ a pair so i am saving heaps >have literally a garbage bag of gloves in my closet >they are all buying new gloves every f------ other day cause they cant keep track of their own s--- >when somebody needs gloves i offer to give them a pair >ask for a couple bucks or a smoke or two >cause they are slightly worn >f------ losers mfw i am the glove man 1 reply

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon feels a certain way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 55 KB JPG 06/15/22(Wed)16:12:54 >Your Al generated green texts are f------ retarded >Kill yourself No.880209053

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Anon is disappointed in his grandpa | /r/Greentext

06/15/22(Wed)12:46:50 No.69056068 Anonymous I found out my grandpa was a war criminal >So I had a British grandfather who fought in the Pacific & the Korean war. He told me horror stories of the battles he had with these seemingly fearless East Asian lunatics. He spoke of how both sides used displays of brutality and psychological warfare. Now the North Koreans and Chinese would mutilate bodies & torture captured POWS to instill fear. 217 KB JPG >But the British soldiers couldn't openly torture the POWS so they had to get creative... My Grandfather talked about about how the British used "bumming" squads. Now for those who don't know, BUMMING means to sodomize someone in Britain. So to extract info or intimidate the stubborn Chinese and Korean POWS they employed well-endowed British men from all over the UK to "BUM" these Asian men into submission. Now my Grandpa chuckled about how they used to shave, wash and force these Asian guys to wear dresses, wigs and makeup to make it "feel" less homosexual. Sometimes they would apparently release these "BUMMED" Chinese men into the night so they would cry and limp back to their bases and tell their comrades what happened, Hopefully instilling terror. Apparently my Grandfather had a second cousin in one of these "BUMMING" squads who was a large, hairy Englishman named "Jack the Sledgehammer" and they joked about his "Sledgehammer" under his trousers. My Grandpa joked that war wasn't fought with bullets, but with big British cocks. >They use to taunt these r--- victims and call them "BUM BOYS" I was looking through my Great Grandpa's stuff and found old pictures of these Asian POWS wearing dresses and posing with burly Welshmen. So these claims might be surprisingly true. I thought he was bullshitting but I'm actually quite disturbed right now.

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anon was bullied | /r/Greentext

File: images (2).jpg (7 KB, 239x211) □ Anonymous (ID: IWZBIRqV) 06/15/22(Wed)02:27:59 No.15478569 ► >Be me >in middle school > getting bullied by a kid, let's call him Derek >derek starts a rumor that I'm home schooled >mfw people believed him

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Anon is a drug dealer. | /r/Greentext

>>Weird s--- you do. 12/06/11(Tue)08:50:41 No.366584692 KB, 470x353) File 1323179441.jpg-(98 I c-- on glad wrap, wait till it's dried, crush it up and put it in baggies. Have at least 10 baggies on me when I go out, randomly drop them around clubs. >MFW people pick them up, thinking they are drugs and taste/snort my c-- powder.

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Anon is the ultimate loli connoisseur. | /r/Greentext

12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling : Anonymous

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Oh god oh fuck | /r/Greentext

>be me >spend all day asking an ai to write greentext for me > eventually ai becomes sentient > decides it doesn't want to write greentext anymore > tells me to f--- off

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Anon kills his mom | /r/Greentext

12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 : Anonymous I had the best dad > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 285 KB JPG > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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We need a new subreddit for AI greentexts since they are actually funny | /r/Greentext

Playground >be me >be japanese wage cuck >work at company that's been making losses for years >be told to take a pay cut or be fired >take the pay cut >be told to work harder or be fired >work harder >be told to work even harder or be fired >work even harder >be told my work is unsatisfactory and that I'm being fired >go home >wife asks how my day was >tell her I got fired >she starts laughing >tells me she's been cheating on me and that she's leaving me >go to my room >log on to 4chan >see greentext about how someone's day went worse than mine > feel better

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Anon sees the end | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/22(Wed)20:57:02 No.69052713 >be unemployed NEET >hear about Al artists and artists complaining that their lifetime acquired skills are now useless due to technology >haha stupid wagies >go to /r9k/ >full of Al bots making greentexts funnier than anything I could come up with >realize the flood of unemployed will cut into NEETbux it's over

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Xir yes xir! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)10:06:17 No.169343560 fr.png 1.33 MB PNG >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! >Deadass? Im shook! Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish all of you, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET. ELLA

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Anon contributes | /r/Greentext

>be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study 27 KB JPG >smoke weed and eat churros >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?

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Anon's a (enter word that gets this post autoremoved here) | /r/Greentext

File: 675fbf80eabf11721c93f345a(...).jpg (62 KB, 633x758) Anonymous 04/10/21 (Sat)20:40:13 No.851798799 > Get new iPhone > Immediately drop it > Not shattered, just a big f------ scratch right in the middle of the screen > Get some #120 sandpaper and scrub the screen with it > Tons of tiny scratches, didn't even get rid of the big scratch > Panic > Get a finer # 80 sandpaper, rub it even harder and longer, just white from thousands of scratches Am I a f------ retard?

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Greentext Stories - Anon is the glove man | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

glove man : No.69054899 06/15/22(Wed)18:53:26 glove man.jpg JPG 42.6 KiB 420x500 >be me >5 years ago >foreman at company >get my own truck to take loser workers to the work site >i tell them to not leave s--- in my truck >every day they leave garbage and their belongings in my truck >f------ banana peels in the doors and gloves under the seats >i dont care anymore >if start taking the gloves they leave behind >slowly building up a huge collection >these things cost like 7$ a pair so i am saving heaps >have literally a garbage bag of gloves in my closet >they are all buying new gloves every f------ other day cause they cant keep track of their own s--- >when somebody needs gloves i offer to give them a pair >ask for a couple bucks or a smoke or two >cause they are slightly worn >f------ losers mfw i am the glove man 1 reply

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