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Greentext Stories - Anon the pirate | /r/Greentext

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File: descarga.jpg (9 KB, 251x201) >F--- like crazy >She comes Anonymous 09/12/22 (Mon)21:05:09 No.70190845 >be me >At party with gf >Both a little drunk so sexy time is implied >Go to My place >"Oh bot i'm on My period" >Tell her a real pirate fears not the red sea (yarg) >Put a towel on the bed to avoid stains >We get down to it >Asks me to wear a condom >Explain it's scientifically impossible but put it on anyway >In retrospect a good idea >Gets on top >D--- is drunk and high on cough medicine so still going >Flip over get on top >Start pounding that p--- >Hip gets tired so I pull out for a sec to readjust >HOHW MA GAHWD.mp3 >Catch a glimpse of the gore down there >Bits of fresh and dry blood spread all around our genitales >Try not to think about it >Can smell that fisherman boat stench >I I love her but was kinda disgusted >Try not to think about it >Doesnt work, peen slowly deflates >Have to fake C------ out of tiredness and having a limp d--- >Look down >Managed to completely miss the towel >Big f--- off stain of blood on my bed >Shower the Tarantino movie that is My D--- >"You need yo wash the sheets now now or it won't come out" >Wash My sheets in the sink with My hairbrush and soap till 4am >The dry doughy bits are specially hard to clean >Go to bed >Stain on matress >Use hairbrush on matress >Clean it well enough, looks like a mild s--- stain or coffee spill but at least not like blood >Realize what a pain in the ass covering up a murder would be Guess this pirate does fear the red sea after all

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