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/toy/ Anonymous my Christmas experience 6 KB JPG 01/05/21(Tue)21:33:59 No.8677314 >be me >an 18 year old autistic kid who likes stuff animals > tell my older brother about these round seal plush toys from japan that are really cute >brother probably not paying too much attention I assumed so I forgot I told him > fast forward to December 25th >brother hands me a flat package >I think it's a shirt or something > I open it up I find a very flattened small version of the seal pillow I told him about > I am very happy and tell him how much I love it >thanks brother

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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anon is disappointed in modern grenades | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)16:16:02 No.36925725 Why aren't grenades designed like these anymore? They have some definite 11 KB JPG advantages over what is commonly used today and they seem pretty practical in terms of ergonomics. >Doesn't roll >Can throw further >Can stick into ground if necessary >Can give you pleasure Can anyone explain to me why these are outdated?

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anon's mom gets in the way of his gains | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 28 KB JPG Anonymous 51 KB JPG >>58871699 # Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)09:57:42 No.58869702 >tfw mom found the protein condoms 12/14/20(Mon)10:35:50 No.58870137 the what? 12/14/20(Mon)12:34:28 No.58871699 >>58870137 # mom thinks whey is drugs so my brother and i hide protein in the toilet water tank in condoms

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Anon encounters a furry in the wild | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: images (2).jpg (9 KB, 223x226) [Return] [Catalog] [Top] Anonymous 10/22/22(Sat) 16:58:31 No.887774362 >In my truck eating lunch by the park. >See a guy in a fox suit hanging out in the park. >It's a f------ furry. Holy f------ s--- guys, I had to idea they were a real thing. What do I do? 0/0/1/5

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Anon is absolutely fucked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 980 KB GIF 10/22/22(Sat)16:13:13 No.70689798 >>70691225 # >100 word essay due next week >haven't even started yet : Anonymous >>70689798 (OP) # >100 word kindergartners have made it onto r9k kek 10/22/22(Sat)16:15:20 No.70689825

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Anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 195 KB JPG 10/22/22(Sat)12:41:01 No.887763634 I started a scientific research /b/ >what group is the internet most sensitive about? >hypothesis: probably gays >platform:reddit's trashy subreddit to find absurd behavior >begin experiment, write name of stereotypically associated demographic under posts >begin with "white people" under gun fanatics, trumpsters, rednecks, white trash >lots of upvotes >next, plan to post black people under ghetto stuff that has black people in videos >post black people under a weird daggering dance video >instant ban before I can find more videos >f------ ruined my experient, didn't even get to women, jews, gays, and jew gays The american education system is broken, I tried to help but couldn't. You're on your own America.

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Anon lives in India | /r/Greentext

>be indian >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges >almost choke on child's spinal column >ride on roof of victorian train to the call centre >"hello this is hank from computer company we need to ask you a few-" *click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan who happened to be in the way >wipe anus with hand >eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like a chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw with, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth

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anon gets a life and leave twitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: T67Zr/aF) 198 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: hsu1|Mm8) >>400986842 # 10/22/22(Sat)17:49:13 No.400983229 >start socialising more >get friends >get gf >suddenly become apathetic to politics and become less extreme in my views >>400983229 (OP) # Yep, that's how it works. >>400987293 # 10/22/22(Sat)17:51:27 No.400983427 Anonymous (ID: ohAdm9Lp) >>400983229 (OP) # prolactin is one helluva drug >>400984195 # 10/22/22(Sat)17:53:01 No.400983559 : Anonymous (ID: MuOuCziL 10/22/22(Sat)17:54:14 No.400983680 >>400983229 (OP) # >suddenly become apathetic to politics how were you not already? are you stupid? were you pretending to be a freedom fighter as you shitposted?

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 229 KB PNG >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean

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Anon's gainz were for naught | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Negative mire 1.78 MB GIF 12/02/21(Thu)17:51:01 No.64581240 >go to a party with some friends >get introduced to new people >try to socialize a little bit and have fun >everyone gets visibly drunker as the night progresses >try to make contact with some of the new girls >female friend comes around >"Hey, I see that you already met anon. I'll let you in on a secret: He is really ripped under that sweater" >girls look weirded out >"But then his face doesn't match any of that" >girls agree giggling >get excluded from the interaction >I go to the toilet and leave the party shortly after >female friend hasn't even apologized for embarrassing me I feel really defeated.

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Anon has schizophrenia | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG 10/21/22(Fri)13:21:31 No.10439416 >be me >outside walking down the sidewalk >heading home after a long day >half way there >suddenly hear humming of some mozart song >look to my left to where a bench was >out appears a dancing cookie >"hi im a dancing-" >i bite into it >surprisingly this cookie taste worse than I was expecting >reach into my pocket for some gum >find a tic tac instead >l ingest it >the bitten cookie reappears into a frog

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Anon Ruins Cuckolding | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu)11:49:09 No.29962622 >>29962627 >>29962630 >>29962632 >>29962658 >>29962668 >>29962675 >>29962679 >>29962730 >>29962824 >>29963405>>29964050 >>29964058 >>29962548 Assholes like you have ruined the cuckolding fetish for guys like me. Now it's just a stupid joke. F--- you. Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu)11:57:13 No.29962675 >>29962710 >>29962718 >29962729 >>29962803 >>29962809 >>29962824>>29962833 >>29962851 >>29962910 >>29962930 >>29963117 >>29963387 >>29963405 >>29963426 >>29964058 >>29964091 File: 1304047__safe_oc_humanize(...).png (99 KB, 700x599) >>29962622 It's almost like the thing you love has been f----- by another man.

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Anon creates himself in the sims | /r/Greentext

wanders into life. >Shoots down all of my sim's advances. >Several days later. >See this. Oh god, it's no different than real life...: Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:17 No.77067145 Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:21 No.77067324 With a chin like that it's no surprise. FOREVER ALONE Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:21 No.77067328 File:1288362093933.jpg-(1.05 MB, 1920x1200, Screenshot-18.jpg) Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:34 No.77067970 File:1288362892583.jpg-(1.23 MB, 1920x1200, Screenshot-28.jpg) Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:15 No.77067054 nonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:37 No.77068090 >>77067970 God damn. He looks like he's staring the TV to death. >Recreate myself in Sims and slightly enhance a few of my masculine features to give him an edge with women. >Recreate best friend as well. >Cute and shy ginger sim CHIN.png) Looks like I'll be crashing on the couch tonight. few minutes rest Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:42 No.77068362 File:1288363371311.jpg-(1.3 MB, 1920x1200, Screenshot-29.jpg) She's never seemed comfortable around me. : At least there's always the ugly best. friend. I just hope she's not a lesbian. nonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:44 No.77068476 >>77068362 H--------, that's some uncanny valley right there. She looks like she expects you to slash her up every second. of the gang.. Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri) 10:55 No.77068960 File:1288364147925.jpg-(939 KB, 1920x1200, Screenshot-32.jpg) The neighbor across the street is kind of cute. Been waiting outside her house for a little bit now and as far as I can tell she almost never leaves. Maybe we'll have something in common. File:1288364286292.png-(10 KB, 122x137, H-------- THAT >>77068960 though, >A_villain_is_born.jpg Those eyes. They are filled with hatred. The band going to Jesus Christ you must be a creepy mother f------ in real life. Looks like sleeping beauty is finally awake. I'll probably come back and later tonight. She seems like a nice girl. a Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)10:38 No.77068167 >>77067970 THOSE EYES FILLED WITH THE GRIEF OF A THOUSAND WORLDS has drive down As for the show. gig down at and Probably head back home and see Crowd starts to get here finished. Looks stick around introduce myself usual, no one bothered to show up a nearby bar in at meet up with the as soon as the gig was like the rest of the gang might for of drinks. a round what the neighbor is up to. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. H ARXE >>77068362 REB

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Greentext Stories - Good Brother Seal of Approval | /r/Greentext

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/toy/ Anonymous my Christmas experience 6 KB JPG 01/05/21(Tue)21:33:59 No.8677314 >be me >an 18 year old autistic kid who likes stuff animals > tell my older brother about these round seal plush toys from japan that are really cute >brother probably not paying too much attention I assumed so I forgot I told him > fast forward to December 25th >brother hands me a flat package >I think it's a shirt or something > I open it up I find a very flattened small version of the seal pillow I told him about > I am very happy and tell him how much I love it >thanks brother

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