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Anonymous 10/21/22(Fri)15:26:27 No.2484342 ► >>2484608 File: zoomer.png (36 KB, 197x200) >>2484013 >Wakes up >Watches tiktok for 5 hours >Faps to FNAF p--- >Plays fortnite for 4 hours >Gets hungry >Mom is out getting railed by a stranger >"I'll make my own food!" >The cook book is written in a alien language >"How to do tell what is bussin?" >Gives up >Settles for beans on toast >He stares at a can of beans and can opener in utter bewilderment >"How to get the beans out?" >Gives up >Orders Uber Eats with the pocket money his mom gave him >He was saving that for V bucks >Resentful towards his mom for not being home to make food >While eating his slop he get's an idea >"I'm 23 now, I can do anything, f--- this world" >Open 4chan >Writes this post

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Anon summarizes the zoomer experience | /r/Greentext


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File: images (1).jpg (7 KB, 228x221) Go to the gym and seek self improvement ffs Anonymous 11/30/24(Sat)21:49:58 No.32380026 >be me >have best friend for 5 years >let's call him Dave >Dave has been in love with his childhood friend/crush since grade 1 >we'll call her Abigail > She is active in sports and has an excellent grade in uni >Abigail gets a boyfriend >dude is a gym Chad™ >Dave goes full rage mode >rants to me about how "Chads" steal all the girls and women only like jerks >Dave says Abigail's bf treats her like crap and sleeps with lot of women >actually met Abigail's bf >he's legit the nicest guy I've met >Christian, has never slept with women, devout but doesn't push it on anyone >major in peace studies and wants to become a charity worker abroad >dude even helped me out at the gym >went from skinny as hell to gaining 10kg in 2 months thanks to him >We play basketball together with his bros >Dave, meanwhile, is lazy, overweight, watches anime/LoL all day, and spams edgy s--- on 4chan >bro, get your act together Dave, I know you're reading this because you live on /b/. Abigail didn't pick her bf just because he's jacked. She picked him because he's actually a decent human being. Take a hard look at yourself and stop spreading lies about someone who's better than you in every way. Touch some grass, bro.
Anonymous 12/01/24(Sun)17:30:56 No.696094373 1.09 MB JPG >this will increase our sale revenue
pink >be me, pink floyd fan floyd the 31 KB JPG final out >1983 >new pink floyd album released >"the final cut >go out and buy record >return home >gee, let's hope it isn't about roger waters' dad dying again >start record >"tell me true, tell me why, was Jesus crucified" >great so far >"was it for this that... daddy died" >godfuckingdammit.png >rip pin off >fling record out window >well, hopefully they return to their usual quality next album
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Uploaded Oct 24, 2022 at 11:28AM EDT

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Greentext Stories

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