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: Anonymous 55x55 11/18/22(Fri)17:55:45 No.889318180 6b889127a5861653fa9543e46c699e8e32642910b7a2b57773cf5 89 KB JPG >be me >stoned with friend >heart randomly starts racing and I feel like I can't breathe >look over to my friend and say I think I'm having a heart attack and we should call 911 >friend grabs me tells me to stay calm and takes me to the shower >turns on the cold water, tells me to get in and put my face under >hands me a towel and tells me to trust him >he leaves >I do as told >hearts slows down almost immediately after I put my face into the water >finish up, dry off, and get out >he hands me a glass of milk and turns on some looney tunes >lights a nice smelling candle and chats with me to free my mind >instantly mellow out >glad I have a good friend

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Anonymous We won gg 17 KB JPG 12/08/24(Sun)14:51:53 No.696653880 >2024 >Mass layoffs in the gaming industry, literally in record numbers which surpass the previous few years combined >Most - if not all - of the layoffs are from Western companies, especially the ones that keep churning out this slop that gamers don't want >The biggest woketard grifters of all who have been race baiting with their black "samurai" are on the verge of bankruptcy and might get sold to Tencent >One of the worst offenders is now the biggest financial flop in gaming history (at least until Yasuke comes out) >The hottest new game right now is a sexed up team- based shooter with tons of hot characters that is spawning loads of p---, which brings us back to exactly where we were at the start of summer 2016 right before this culture war b------- really got under way. We unironically won the culture war. Wokeness is dying, and wokeness in the gaming industry is on its last legs. We're right back to where we started before all of this garbage started. This is awesome. I'm gonna go fap to Luna Snow to celebrate.

12/06/24(Fri)11:21:22 No.490600063 A victim of the Mannheim terror attack in Germany has now been convicted of anti-Islam hate speech: Stabbed by an Islamist, now silenced by the state Why are Germans mega cucked? Its so f------ unreal. >Waves of arabs and poos invade Germany >Random germanon complains that the arabs are violent r--- jihadist >Religion of peace jihadist stabs the Germanon in retaliation >Buck broken police dont want to appear racist, so they apprehend the germanon instead of the knife wielding arab >They all get stabbed, one cops dies >FFW to today the Germanon gets fined for hate speech against the arab.

Anonymous 408 KB JPG 02/15/19(Fri)08:45:18 No.792708139 >be me >transgender >start hormones and start developing t--- >they are hairy as f--- >ask endocrinologist if it will ever stop >he says no and that i need laser >it costs a fortune Wat do/b/? Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:47:01 No.792708238 >try to spit in the face of God >Become genetic abomination Things seem to be taking their natural course OP

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anon works from home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 274 KB JPG 10/07/22 (Fri)11:05:21 No.89050016 >work remote >get paid 100k/yr >play video games most of my shift This cant be sustainable

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Anon be cooking pasta | /r/Greentext

Anonymous feels good man 08/22/18 (Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 30 KB JPG >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say I'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Turkanon cannot handle the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (WGRC6MKK Moon Knight got review bombed HOMEPAGE TY NEWS Moon Knight: Disney+ Marvel series getting review bombed for mentioning the Armenian Genocide KEY CASUS ROLLING 113 KB JPG 04/05/22(Tue)23:33:07 No.371394597 >be me >Turkish >decide to watch that new show Moon Knight that people have been taking about >start watching Episode 1 One of the characters mentions the Armenian Genocide >immediately turn off show and leave negative review online

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Yellow Army | /r/Greentext

: Yellow Tard Yellow Army Coomer P--- /b/ 124 KB PNG 11/17/22(Thu)21:56:57 No.889270495 P---------- belongs on p--- boards. This board is not one of them. /b/ is for random content. When 80% of the threads are for p----------, it's not random anymore. 4Chan already has boards specifically designed for p----------. These include: >/s/ - Sexy Beautiful Women >/hc/ - Hardcore >/hm/ - Handsome Men >/h/ - Hentai >/e/ - Ecchie (Hentai subgenre) >/d/ - Hentai/Alternative (Hentai subgenre) >/y/ - Yaoi (Hentai subgenre) >/hr/ - High Resolution (celebrity) >/gif/ - Adult Gif >/aco/ - Adult Cartoons >/r/ - Adult Requests

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anon wants to know how to invade America | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/28/20(Fri)10:56:07 No.9348410 How the f--- can you invade it? 08/28/20(Fri)11:09:59 No.9348514 : Anonymous >>9348410 (OP) # You don't. On either side you will hit mountains not soon after the coasts. Imagine getting into protracted warfare with snake-handling Appalachian hillbillies. The last thing you will hear is the sound of a banjo twanging through the trees before you get domed by someone armed with their great-great-grandfather's depression era squirrel rifle. It would make the Chechen-Russian conflict look like a f------ joke.

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anon has an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Briked by Platinum Reality of Saint LLC NEW For Sale $80,000 147 KB JPG : Anonymous neighbors >can spend money on cool s--- instead of working and paying debt >surrounded by nature all day >can have a garden YAY POWENT FACE-TO-FACE 11/07/22(Mon)18:33:31 No.27674371 57 KB JPG is living in a trailer based? >can own a plot of land and he without the rat race or endless debt >big enough for 1 person gives you a couple rooms >you can have privacy and avoid 11/07/22(Mon)19:39:08 No.27674902 >>27674371 (OP) # Only if it's in Sunnyvale.

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Anon spends time with his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My mom is the coolest 29 KB JPG 11/18/22(Fri)16:38:11 No.71034860 >not feeling too well >mom notices >decides she wants to do something with me >sure.jpg >am a massive space nerd, have been wanting to watch For All Makind for the longest time (good show btw I recommend) >she agrees >now every day when I get back from school we sit down and watch an episode >I'll pause every 5 minutes to tell her cool space facts and she seems genuinely interested and not bothered by it at all >feel a little less s----- now Thanks mom >be me >depressed

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Anon Learns | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Town Bailey 97 KB JPG 11/18/22(Fri) 15:01:32 No.889301968 Today I learned that red bull doesn't actually have bull piss in it >when I was 11 I had red bull >It tasted like s---, so I looked at the ingredients Taurine was one of them >Tarus is bull >urine is piss Tarus + urine = Taurine >I just accepted that some people drink processed bull piss, there are weirder foods >earlier on today my friend was drinking a coconut red bull Haha, piss drinker >he looked so confused that I had to explain myself I've been a fool the whole time anons

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anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Lauren Chen @TheLaurenChen 11/18/22(Fri)03:17:14 No.89830375 Thousands of Twitter employees have been fired and the platform is still working fine. Apparently they really weren't needed after all. Elon was right to downsize. Last edited 3:22 AM · Nov 18, 2022 · Twitter for Android 2,448 Retweets 471 Quote Tweets 26.1K Likes z8K4Kq2qHy.png 30 KB PNG >I haven't visited a car mechanic since yesterday and my car is working just fine Are normies really this stupid? In particular, the conservative types.

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anon knows biology | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/22(Fri)09:12:35 No.71027940 1643377082409.png 95 KB PNG >father is 5'11" >mother is a m----- at 4'11" >I am a manlet at 5'8" >I should've easily been 6'1" or 6'2" had my dad married a woman of average height If you ever get a girl, don't ever, EVER make this mistake. EVER. Don't EVER let your kids down like that. EVER.

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Anon describes the lifecycle of a roastie working at a bar | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Every roastie that tries worki(...) 108 KB PNG 11/18/22(Fri)10:21:56 No.889293270 >Roastie gets a job at a local bar >"omg excited to start new job!!" >Night 2: "Come see your gurl at Normie's grub n pub " >Night 6: Selfie with 2/10 55 year old bitch "Shoutout to this chick! She makes work bearable!" >Night 9: "ATTENTION MEN: No, your bartender doesn't wanna f--- you! She's not paid a lot so don't hit on her blah blah" >Night 13: "Just a friendly reminder to always always ALWAYS tip and be kind to your servers and always suck their cocks blah blah blah" >Night 21: "OMG I JUST SAW A FIGHT BREAK OUT IN THE BAR TWO DRUNK GUYS IMAGINE THAT OMG DONT TAKE YOUR DRAMA TO A BAR AND DONT DRINK TOO MUCH AT A BAR AND DONT FIGHT AT A BAR ITS SCARY" >Night 25: Already quit

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anon gives his aunt his old laptop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/21 (Fri) 18:25:39 No.844343540 Deletehistorywith22.jpg 41 KB JPG >get new laptop >give old one to aunt >suddenly remember i forgot to delete my files and browsing history >mfw

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Greentext Stories - Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 55x55 11/18/22(Fri)17:55:45 No.889318180 6b889127a5861653fa9543e46c699e8e32642910b7a2b57773cf5 89 KB JPG >be me >stoned with friend >heart randomly starts racing and I feel like I can't breathe >look over to my friend and say I think I'm having a heart attack and we should call 911 >friend grabs me tells me to stay calm and takes me to the shower >turns on the cold water, tells me to get in and put my face under >hands me a towel and tells me to trust him >he leaves >I do as told >hearts slows down almost immediately after I put my face into the water >finish up, dry off, and get out >he hands me a glass of milk and turns on some looney tunes >lights a nice smelling candle and chats with me to free my mind >instantly mellow out >glad I have a good friend

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