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File: 1597697729375.jpg (7 KB, 250x237) Anonymous 04/10/21 (Sat)23:24:01 No.4197222 >Go to mcdonalds >"Yeah can I get a cheeseburger" >Wagie just flat out says "No." >Shocked at his answer >Don't know what to say so I leave Am I a beta

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File: aziz.jpg (84 KB, 720x540) No S COVEN TO YOUR DO Minutes Free!' teed Joe's Pepper ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:04:00 No.207634914 >Why don't you get Abdul to deliver it? >>207635324 >>207635417 >"They found his passport lying on top of the wreckage. NOW GO!!!" ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:33:05 No.207635312 >Look, kid, I got a newspaper to run and I need a picture of the splattered corpses at Ground Zero in seven minutes! >Fine, here. >Crap. Run it on page one with the headline "Spider-Man Leaves Trade Tower Victims to Die!" Give you two hundred bucks for the picture. >Three hundred for that and one from my private "LOL SUPERMAN" stash. >That's outrageous! Done. ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:33:41 No.207635318 ► File: 1736073212833.jpg (230 KB, 1280×720) o Smoking IR DOOR >GOOOooooO00000000 Dr lepper le INCE 0000 ☐ Anonymous 01/05/25(Sun)21:41:18 No.207635417 File: americanmoviescene.png (449 KB, 720x540) Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper lepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr epper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Pepper Dr Pepper >>207634914 (OP). >american movies

MIRROR NOW MIRRORNOW.IN CALIFORNIA FIRES WATCH: DEADLY FIRES GRIP HOLLYWOOD STARS' HOMES | Anonymous (ID: baWLIwd7 | 01/09/25(Thu)17:14:43 No.493843417 >be rich af >lose one of your multimillion dollar mansions in a fire >go on the news and cry about your loss from a 5 star hotel >everyone on redderp expresses their sorrow and sends condolences redshit logic: obscene wealth = good if you're a Dem

Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #

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Anon doesn't get war | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mukuliXo 30 KB JPG No.362155767 Why does everyone assume that a single nuke launched means all out nuclear warfare? If someone nuked a city retaliating with another nuke would be the absolute worst decision you could make. 02/21/22(Mon)04:05:09 : Anonymous (ID: QDpfDg6m) 02/21/22(Mon)04:06:54 No.362156020 >>362155767 (OP) # >just let them nuke you bro i bet you would let another man nuke your wife in front of you f----- >>362166561 # >>362185107 # >>362189907 #

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Anon has an existential crisis | /r/Greentext

Anonymous hmm today I will dissociate 109 KB JPG 12/07/22(Wed)07:23:07 No.71297487 possibily whole eternity. >A lot of tragies and misfortunes that happen on Earth can be contributed to bad luck regardless who you are, evil or good, rich or poor, smart or dumb. >Life itself is absurd, there is no reason or meaning to live and all we can do is give ourself a reason to live, which when combined with previous point might still be ultimately pointless even to oneself as you simply might got unlucky. >Can't refuse to play the game, commit sudoku, and stop existing cause of evolution. So let me get this straight. >There is no god. >There is no hope. >Everything in this universe, including us, is subject to random chance and entropy and even if its possible to guess the future we don't have any means of being 100% sure, leaving everything uncertain for >Evolution where people who stopped playing the game didn't pass their genes and consequently only people who are alive today are either too stupid to think of giving up or too frigtened by death and its pain to give up, therfore making us slaves to our own bodies, minds and universe but still somehow have 'free will' ? : Anonymous >And happiness is an another evolutions illusion to keep us going regardless of previous factors for the exact same reason why we fear death: cause for people who didn't fear death or weren't motivated by brains happy pleasure chemicals are actually f------ dead or dead inside, unmotivated, hoping they were dead but unable to end their lifes, and will simply die alone. Did I miss something? 1 Reply / 1 Image DAMN THAT'S CRAZY View Thread 12/07/22(Wed)07:25:29 No.71297509 >>71297487 (OP) # you missed the part where i read all that

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God gives his silliest battles to his funniest clowns. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How to make women laugh 168 KB PNG 08/13/21(Fri)02:01:51 No.64954143 Just make her laugh bro. Girls love funny guys. 46 Replies / 5 Images View Thread 08/13/21(Fri)07:36:50 No.64956807 08/13/21(Fri)07:38:15 No.64956821 08/13/21(Fri)08:02:15 No.64956993 : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>64954143 (OP) # >go on date >we hang out all day and goes well imo, she seems to be having fun, and she was literally crying laughing like half a dozen times >sleep over at her place >ask her if she wants to do this again because muh "make ur intentions known early, it's your fault that you're in the firendzone" >"i would like to hang out still but to be clear i'm not really attracted to you that way and just want to be friends" >i said ok or something, but i imagine i was visibly sad >"it's fine we can still hang out" "what's so wrong with being my friend?" she says >change subject and eventually go home >don't contact her again

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Anon is short | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it 229 KB PNG get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Wholesome greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone 72 KB PNG >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is since we're pretty close nor >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >I pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone

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Luckiest anon out there | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.8 MB JPG 09/10/21 (Fri)22:28:24 No.65334978 >be introverted >coworker talks with me >ask her out >get home and cant get her out of my head >dont want to be friendzoned >text her i want to f--- her >she asks what i mean >tell her exactly what i want >silence for 48 hours >tell her ill go back to being quiet and apologize >she wants to go out some more >says that sort of thing feels better when it just happens can someone decode this for me? 09/10/21 (Fri)22:29:34 No.65334990 : Anonymous >>65334978 (OP) # She is willing to overlook your retarded autistic episode to go on a date with you.

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Anon is an expert at bullying | /r/Greentext

They're disgusting! They don't even consider SUNNY's feelings.......! Do DaHmm Myehn Moreover, he reads only books, has a dark personality and a slender body hahaha. Class 2.png 1.76 MB PNG SUNNY... >>409718174 # He knows they're gonna bully him SUNNY really doesn't live up to his name, isn't he? He's trying to be funny, isn't he? His voice is too small >>409718798 # >>409718824 # >>409719397 # >>409721870 # Anonymous 12/05/22(Mon) 08:31:04 No.409718798 >>409718592 # Why are asians awful at doing bullying scenes? I can never take any of them seriously, I can't believe anyone would bully someone so pathetically like this and someone would feel bullied by these "offenses".

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Anon is a consumer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/22(Thu)22:09:27 No.177434147 ► >>177434198 >>177436196 >>177436207 File: hotsoy318.jpg (385 KB, 1080x1309) >>177434085 # >oh, waitress! *snaps fingers* come here, my poppet, I've decided on what I shall dine upon today. >May I have the BEARDY MCBEARDMAN MEGA BEEFY QUADRUPLE BEEF BEER BACON N BOURBON BURGER WITH 3000 MONTH PINK HIMALAYAN SALT CAVE AGED CRUELTY FREE SLAVERY FREE NON GMO FARM TO TABLE CIGAR SMOKED GOUDA >Oh, and of COURSE! My apologies for not realizing that the hot sauce menu was a subset of the MAIN menu (albeit a separate pamphlet detailing the intricacies of each sauce, as well as pairing suggestions, would be a welcome addition (pass that along to your sauce monger)). I shall sample your in- house BEELZEBUTT'S 7,000,000 SCOVILLE HEMORRHOID HOLOCAUST NUCLEAR A--- LEAKAGE XXXXXX FECAL FURY SAUCE; and, my sweet, mayhaps a bottle of it to go? Though I am yet to taste it, I am sure that my buddies at the barcade - yes, a portmanteau of 'bar' and 'arcade, and YES, you can actually DRINK as you PLAY VIDEO GAMES, whatever will they think of next? - will be utterly TICKLED by the label your crew has concocted for that bottle! *taps glass* >and another round of your hoppiest IPA, please!

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Anon aint chasing whamen | /r/Greentext

12/07/22(Wed)10:46:08 No.71295682 >I refuse to ask out the girl myself, but that's not because im a pussyintel, its because all women want 0.000000001% turbo chad to ride a c--- carousel, so if i asked her out she would reject me because im 5.10 balding and autistic (self diagnosed), and even if she said yes, i would betabuxx while she thinks of chad, not because im chadsexual or insecure, but because women are just like that trust me i know first hand! All they want is chad and his juicy c---, they don't care about anything else! And if she wants me, shes gotta make the first move! And i want a real women not a w----! 4 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 8 KB JPG View Thread Anonymous >>71295682 (OP) # *looks in the mirror* Yeah I'm not asking anyone out. 12/07/22(Wed)10:47:51 No.71295696

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Femanon wants to meet a man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 52 KB JPG 12/06/22(Tue)21:52:16 No.71292680 >33 year old fembot >met a guy and we hit it off but he ghosted me after some hot girl in WOW talked to him >feelslikeshit.jpg >looking for a tall white skelly bf who I can take care of :( that looks like picrel >I am a bit on the chubby side but I've been losing weight 20 pounds down so far! >have severe depression tried killing myself a few times >I do well for myself >live on my own >can cook and clean >have stable income honestly I wonder if life is even worth it anymore, I just want to end it all but f--- killing yourself is annoying and tough. >>71292703 # >>71292704 # >>71293539 # >>71293635 #

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Anon smokes a weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Reefer madness 76 KB JPG 12/06/22 (Tue)22:51:33 No.890336172 >be dirty potdrugger >hear coughing gets you higher Idea.bongrip >get The Coof intentionally >cough 10x as hard >don't get any higher, permanently damaged taste F--- you Joe Biden

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Anon doesn’t understand run-offs and grammar | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: d5Pp5QGv) [+] 12/06/22(Tue)21:51:35 No.407376083 >>407373628 (OP) # >elections were weeks ago >still not f------ done counting votes The US are a f------ joke >>407376447 #

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Greentext Stories - Betanon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

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File: 1597697729375.jpg (7 KB, 250x237) Anonymous 04/10/21 (Sat)23:24:01 No.4197222 >Go to mcdonalds >"Yeah can I get a cheeseburger" >Wagie just flat out says "No." >Shocked at his answer >Don't know what to say so I leave Am I a beta

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