It's Been Two Years Since People Were Sharing AI Generated Anime Girl Meets Creepypasta Images
Nine Years Ago, We Dared To Ask How A Dog Might Wear Pants For The First Time
This Iconic Reaction Image Turns 13 Today
Fugglers Are A Major Fixture In This 'Oopy Goopy, General Munchkin, Lil Jimbob... and Larry' Trend
Sophie Rain's New Content House 'Bop House' Already Marred In Controversy As It Nears A Million Followers

: OP 324 KB JPG No.178752383 01/04/23(Wed)11:17:56 This is a true story of how I became stinking rich. >be me, middle-aged man >on the streets of a small village, famous for its pubs >"STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT UP!" >"Gather round, folks. You won't regret it!" >"You there. Old lady. Do you grow weary of dragging your t--- all over the floor everywhere you walk?" >"How about you, old man?" >"Are you laying rope instead of pipe?" >"One sip of this elixir here - straight from the fountain of youth itself - and you could be balls- deep inside a DRAGON before the sun sets tonight." >"Don't believe me? Observe." >I then take a sip of the potion in my hand, after which I miraculously turn into a younger version of myself, right in front of their very eyes >The old man's eyes grow wide as he s---- his pants >"Youth. Sweet, blissful youth. Yours for the low, low price of 7000 galleons." >before long, the crowd almost starts murdering each other to grab a vial of my potions >right before the old lady drinks her potion, I disapparate, straight to Gringotts to deposit my fortune, where I took picrel If I stayed any longer, they would have noticed I sold them polyjuice potion mixed with goblin pubes, and only drank from the batch containing hair from my youth.

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (1080px x 1964px)

File size: 237 KB

: Anonymous 687 KB GIF tank top 03/16/23(Thu)08:28:49 No.72592213 >Be me, a fat dude >go buy a pack of doritos because i have my cravings >see skeleton looking people wearing winter clothing because its cold outside >i only wear a hoodie over a >remember i am genetically built to withstand cold >remember i could bodyslam them into the pavement >remember i could f--- their wife with my lil chubster >then make her buy me pizza >remember i could buck break a scrawny dude >one punch from my arm equals to ten of his >but then remember God made me to specifically play vidya and watch one piece >smile to myself and open the doritos EGAS >>72592213 (OP) # 03/16/23(Thu)08:49:04 No.72592313 is this a knee-jerk reaction to the thread about weight loss? Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)09:10:56 No.72592425 >remember that you've always been the slowest, most unathletic, most out of shape person in every PE class. >realize that these imaginary physical altercations probably wouldn't go as well as you think. Nice obese cope.

Anonymous 12/28/24(Sat)11:32:03 No.103676189 29 KB JPG >company hired a new grad recently >a 21 year old white woman >it was the only junior spot available so i assume she must be great given how many applications we got (over 100) >asked to get to help get her started >she doesn't know what git is >she doesn't know what terminal is (says she only uses GUI) >she doesn't know how to extract a zip >she doesn't know how to access network storage >she doesn't know what RAM does (i asked as a joke) What the f--- is going on? Are the new grads cooked or did they just accidentally hire an idiot? I want to report it but I'm scared to as I am not that senior myself.

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect What the F--- is going on Bongbros??? What the F--- is going on Bong(...) Settings Mobile Home 12/28/24(Sat) 13:28:53 No.492579333 20241228_122812.jpg 614 KB JPG 3 days it's been like this. What are the k---- doing to our air? Anonymous (ID: fTOa7Lbe) >>492579333 (OP) # 12/28/24(Sat) 13:29:41 No.492579374 wow, fog in winter?? it's over >>492579602 #

View All 44,304 Images

More:

Anon's theological debate | /r/Greentext

MINECRAFT THE WILDURDATE 4 KD, Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)15:11:14 No.623155121 >be me >playing Java minecraft on this massive survival server >decide to build underwater city >think I called it the rapture republic after Bioshock ▶>>623156632 >built a tunnel that would lead to the main hall, where other glass tunnels would lead to different sectors built a wall of signs in the main hall with what was essentially a mini constitution, it started with no Gods, no Kings, only man >built farms to sustain myself as I expanded the city to have a sector for farming >log off and go to work >got called into work three days in a row, so no time to play >get back to the server to find the city intact, but everything stolen except for a single flower below a sign where my temporary farm was, sign said sorry >go to main hall with a single sign saying there is only one God, and that's the Macho Man Randy Savage >wasn't even angry, just confused

Pin

anon tells a potentially embellished story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/04/23(Wed)01:54:51 No.178750233 >be basedboy Russian twinkfag Yelchin >get nudged against wall by own 4,000 lb jeep >die like a retard >be all American beefcake Renner >get run over by own 15,000lb Snowcat in a f------ blizzard >drive self to hospital >take selfie >get New Years b------ from nurse before surgery Europoors, pls don't try to operate American utility vehicles. Stick with your gay ass miniature trucks

Pin

Anon copes even harder than the average anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: iNzOaRIV hasandpiker 06/14/21(Mon)14:15:49 No.325895048 COVID-19 Vaccination Record Card DANDY de spann 25.1991 Hodema 47B2DE SINGLE Hlason TAFS CDC ELAZZI BUS LACK BET RADNO MUSIC Screenshot_20210614-184044-2.png 1.09 MB PNG Ok /pol/ We too need a chad-looking right wing speaker like this f----- to redpill zoomers. Almost every girl I know watches this socialist f--. 12 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

Pin

Anon is gigachad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>66844503 (OP) # >got approached by hot zoomer at gym >asked me if I'm a trainer >nah >asked me if I wanted to give her workout tips >tell her there's always google, unironically >she thinks I'm joking and asks me for my insta >tell her there's no pictures of me on my insta, I only put up best scenes from travels, so she won't get the sexual gratification she's looking for online >tell her to give me her insta and if I like it I'll add her >she gives me her insta >look it up in the spot, her bio says she/her >ask her why she is identifying that she is a woman when it's quite obvious that she is in fact a woman 05/20/22(Fri)10:11:17 No.66847226 >she looks confused and becomes shy >tell her I have s--- to do and can't waste anymore time, go to locker room >get horny later after getting home and decide to see if she'll come over to gratify me >check the insta >the pronouns are not there anymore >>66850381 # >>66850833 # >>66854008 # >>66856028 #

Pin

Russianon watches Abatap 2 | /r/Greentext

Pin

Rust is different | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/23 (Wed)05:49:18 No.71684507 How to Punish a Dog Flashbang him 1 IMG_8781.jpg 105 KB JPG > be me > Rustfag > having a brief kinda mini job interview over the phone regarding a potential programming job > You know, the kinds you have before an actual one is set up. > I ask the girl on the other end of the phone which languages they use at the place. > "Oh we use mainly English and Swedish around the office." Bruh this lady more autistic than I am

Pin

Anon tries to impress | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 139 KB JPG : Anonymous + 12/13/22(Tue)21:33:06 No.127136876 The Crusher of Croatia 12/13/22(Tue)21:35:12 No.127137287 >>127136876 (OP) # damn that acne I remember 3 years ago I tried to flirt with a girl at work by picking a few of my strategically placed zits so I had pus oozing out of my face in the shape of Japan. I laughed and said 'save Japan from volcanos! lick my face". she got grossed out 35 KB JPG

Pin

anon hates modern marketing | /r/Greentext

I hate the f------ rebranding of the poverty lifestyle: >Micro Apartment You rented a room. 2 MB GIF >Tiny house You bought a trailer with some cosmetic s--- on the outside >Van life You basically bought an RV >Uber/lyft Gypsy cab, you got a f------ unlicensed cab. >Air BnB Couchsurfing for 4x the price Are they going to rebrand motorcycles as "micro cars" next? Putting a fresh coat of paint on your poverty doesn't make you rich.

Pin

Ah yes Video Games | /r/Greentext

Board /v/ - Video Games : Anonymous 85 KB JPG : Anonymous 53 KB JPG : Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 01/03/23(Tue)17:13:47 No.623140349 60 KB JPG >it's 2023 >spiders outnumber humans 1000:1 >games aren't being made with spiders in mind "Progress" is a myth and arachnophobia is as real as ever. 01/03/23(Tue)17:23:25 No.623141280 >>623141746 # >>623145395 # >>623145876 # >>623146727 # >>623149248 # >>623150653 # do any spiders make for sociable pets or will they only ever run away or crawl on you thinking you're terrain. ? 01/03/23(Tue)17:28:28 No.623141746 >>623141280 # They are extremely skittish and kick their itchy abdomen hairs into the air when they feel threatened. They can bite, but that's not their first or immediate line of defense; it should be noted, however, that tarantulas, like all spiders, possess venom, though most of the time the venom won't land you in the hospital unless the tarantula is from Asia or Africa.

Pin

How I imagine Roman family drama | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How do I accept my son is a bo(...) 185 KB PNG 07/31/22(Sun)19:45:42 No.26999122 >be dad >Have gay son >Ok still love him it's 840 AVC >Meet his BF from his Legion >Way more of a man th son >Just know >F--- wife >Break down crying midsex + 41.9K The thought of my son getting his inside... rearranged just like his mother is too much to bare... How do I live knowing he's the bottom

Pin

the feels bros | /r/Greentext

File: 1346981613984.jpg-(53 KB, 400x400, illinoise.jpg) SUFJAN STEVENS Come on feel the invites you to ILLINOISE Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:33 No.28034254 Q Dear /mu/ I have a story to tell you guys. >be 16 years old, live in a small town in Illinois, complete 'pleb' who liked Linkin Park, SOAD, etc. You know the deal. >use /b/ irregularly, one day I click on /mu/, because why not? not weeaboo s--- like the other boards >see a thread on pic related >download it, become obsessed with and even buy it on CD >listen to it time after time >completely socially retarded, two friends, both of whom are also socially retarded >go to to f------ church every weekend, not because my parents are religious or anything but because it's part >i'm not an r/atheist either really, just find church interminally boring >one e day a new family shows up in church and sits next to us >they have a really, really cute daughter my age >brown hair, blue eyes, around 5' 4", pretty as all f--- >"h-hi anon, i'm new to this town, want to show me around?" >blue eyes open wide and look straight into mine, first time i'd made legit eye contact in two years >this is love at first sight >"o-ok... there's really not much" >i take her around town and show her all the s----- main street stores >turns out she's from new york and she likes this small town atmosphere >she goes to my to my school but we don't have that many classes together, still, she sits with me and my two loser friends and pretends to be interested in our stupid conversations about vidya and s--- >always sits next to me, always >we have one class together, chemistry, and she asks to come over to my house to study once a week >"okay" (in my head: F--- YES OH MY F--- YES) >we lie on my floor or bed studying together, all this sexual and romantic tension >we always listen to her music, which is always 60s pop like The Beatles, The Supremes, or Sam Cooke. s--- like that Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:33 No.28034264 >>28034254 (OP) >one thursday, I put on Illinois, which by this point i've listened to like 100 times >start singing along to it for no reason >"you have a nice voice, anon, you should sing more" >we stop >one by one the songs wash over us p studying, just lie on bed in complete silence >i can remember every detail of that day - the plain brown sweater she had on, the light rain outside, the carrots my mom gave us as a snack >casimir r pulaski day comes >this is my favorite song, and i tell her that, breaking like 20 minutes of silence >we look straight into each other's eyes, and when sufjan sings 'kissed you on the neck', i kiss her on the neck gently 200 >holy f------ balls i'm blushing so hard it's not even funny, and she starts laughing >what the f--- did I do did I just f--- up so hard what the f--- am I doing costanza.jpg'd myself f--- everything >she kisses me back on the lips, eventually evolves into full-on makeout session gene >afterwards we go back to silence for a few minutes and then make out again >the greatest day of my entire life >i walk her back to her house, 20 minutes away, leave her at the front door with another kiss >"anon... are we boyfriend and girlfriend now?" >"yeah... guess so." >she smiles so f------ big i want to die >> Anonymous 09/06/12(Thu)21:34 No.28034282 @ >>28034264 >walk back to my house listening to casimir pulaski day the whole time >1 1/2 years later, we're still dating and still hang out with the loser friends, life is amazing, we want to get married >one day she gets sick, headaches, dizzy spells, etc >one day develops into weeks >she goes to hospital and finds out she has an inoperable, extremely malignant brain tumor >i watch her quickly descend into not even recognizing who I am >her face remains beautiful through out Shor >her eyes still paralyze me >34 days after she she goes to the hospital she dies, f------ 10 days after Casimir Pulaski Day >it's been a year since and I feel extremely suicidal, don't go to college, mostly sit in my room and play video games and listen to the Promise Ring all day >forgot about this site, came back and there were a lot of feel threads >i don't know what i'm going to do ever in my life. I still masturbate to her every night and feel guilty afterwards. I haven't felt anything for anyone but her since the first time I looked in her eye. i don't want to kill myself cause I don't believe in the afterlife but I need something to do that's doesn't remind me of her, this is the most writing i've done in a year. i need to get the f--- out of my house and this town, but i'm not rich and i can't make it by myself in this state. H-hold me, /mu/.

Pin

Anon realises that there's no justice in this world | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/23(Tue)19:54:25 No.71677426 ► >See my neighbor (creepy unemployed incel) (30m) talking to a 24 year old child (f) who works as an adjunct professor at my college, laughing about some movie >Overhear him ask her to come see another movie with him, can't hear her the response tho >She is a woman under patriarchy AND her little brain is not fully developed, there is a huge power imbalance, she can't consent >6 year age gap, there is no way they could even have anything in common, he is clearly grooming her >notallheroeswearcapes.jpg >call the police >they won't do anything about it and threaten consequences if I keep calling them >Apparently this is "legal" There is no justice in this world.

Pin

0

Greentext Stories - Anon becomes stinking rich | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: OP 324 KB JPG No.178752383 01/04/23(Wed)11:17:56 This is a true story of how I became stinking rich. >be me, middle-aged man >on the streets of a small village, famous for its pubs >"STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT UP!" >"Gather round, folks. You won't regret it!" >"You there. Old lady. Do you grow weary of dragging your t--- all over the floor everywhere you walk?" >"How about you, old man?" >"Are you laying rope instead of pipe?" >"One sip of this elixir here - straight from the fountain of youth itself - and you could be balls- deep inside a DRAGON before the sun sets tonight." >"Don't believe me? Observe." >I then take a sip of the potion in my hand, after which I miraculously turn into a younger version of myself, right in front of their very eyes >The old man's eyes grow wide as he s---- his pants >"Youth. Sweet, blissful youth. Yours for the low, low price of 7000 galleons." >before long, the crowd almost starts murdering each other to grab a vial of my potions >right before the old lady drinks her potion, I disapparate, straight to Gringotts to deposit my fortune, where I took picrel If I stayed any longer, they would have noticed I sold them polyjuice potion mixed with goblin pubes, and only drank from the batch containing hair from my youth.

View Gallery Random Image

+ Add a Comment

Comments (0)

There are no comments currently available.

Display Comments

Image Details

227 views (11 from today)

Uploaded Jan 04, 2023 at 08:25AM EST

Origin Entry

Greentext Stories

Source

Tags

Claim Authorship Edit History

About the Uploader

Reddit Moments

Treasurer & Media Maid

Textile Embed

!https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/507/415/855.jpg!

Today's Top Image Galleries

Elon Musk Babyfur Rumor depicting an image of a man resembling Musk wearing an owl onesie.

Elon Musk Babyfur Rumor

An image depicting Brazilian Miku.

Brazilian Miku

Squirrel Girl

Assassination of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson depicting an image of the CEO and the gunman.

Assassination of UnitedHealthcare CEO